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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 19:57:15
I had my appt.
T's ok w/me, she's ok with ALL of me.
You guys right.
Think she just hadto get used to it.
But the evil thing fax came up.
She said she didn't really KNOW evil.
Thenshe asks me, do I?
I flipped.
Externally, she could tell I was extreemly bothered.
Inside I was TERRIFIED.
Couldn't stop the shaking.
And she kept talking,
and I kept trying to hold it together.
I ended up bolting away.
Can't write more now.
I'm so f*cked up.
I wanto break me somehow.
Hope I don't.
Sigh.
I dunno.
I feel sick.
Sorry.
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:07:44
In reply to Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 19:57:15
Someones really, really, reallly, scared.
We don't wanto know why.
We just want it to go away.
The Bad.
We thot it was gone.
but it was hiding.
I dunno what to do.
We trying to seem normal.
We want to hide.
but the adult has to take care of irl kids.
We don't know what to do.
We hapy and sad.
Sorry.
We can stop and go away.
make the bad only be with us.
just didn't wanto be all alone with bad.
sory, sorry, soory.
wegot no tears.
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:09:21
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:07:44
Posted by finelinebob on August 22, 2006, at 20:12:32
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:07:44
> We can stop and go away.
> make the bad only be with us.
> just didn't wanto be all alone with bad.Bring it here.
There're enough of us to help you handle it, no matter how big or bad it is.
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:19:39
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by finelinebob on August 22, 2006, at 20:12:32
my heart hurts cuz your nice.
Posted by sunnydays on August 22, 2006, at 20:20:57
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by finelinebob on August 22, 2006, at 20:12:32
(((((muffly)))))
Can you go to your cave and be safe there? The bad can't get you in your cave, right? I'm so sorry you're scared. Can you fax your T and tell her you're scared? I'm scared a lot too. It's no fun at all, and can feel like it will never go away. But it will. Can you take a few really deep breaths and try to let your body relax? My T says that sometimes if the body is relaxed, the parts that are scared know it's okay and they're safe and they can relax. It works for me sometimes. I'm sorry you're so scared. But you're not bad.
(((muffly)))
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:37:24
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by sunnydays on August 22, 2006, at 20:20:57
Theres anew one. I think she was dead, but now she's not.
But she messing things up. We happy she came to be with us. But I don't understand. We can't goto cave. We running all over like when you turn a rock over and theres an ant nest and they scramble all over cuz they surprized and dunno what to do.
Thank you.
We will try calmness.
Maybe we can ride bike.
Maybe
never mind.
Its ok
Thankyoyu
Posted by happyflower on August 22, 2006, at 21:02:05
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » sunnydays, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:37:24
So sorry you are so scared, please take care of yourself, I care about you and I want you to be okay. (((((muffy))))
Posted by ElaineM on August 22, 2006, at 22:50:52
In reply to Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 19:57:15
(((((Muffly))))) I'm sorry you're so scared and feel sick right now. You're not bad and I don't want you to break. You always give me so much strength when you're helping me through my bad stuff -- and I want to send it all back to you right now, when you need it. ((((((Muff))))))
I'm so glad your T was there for you your last appointment -- let her be there for you now too. If you call her tomorrow I'm sure she'll understand, especially if the session was tough at the end --which it sounds like it was.
You're doing so well with the SI. Please keep trying tonight -- I don't want my friend Muffled to be hurting more. I care about you.
Thinking of you tonight, EL
Posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 23:15:46
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by ElaineM on August 22, 2006, at 22:50:52
I hide lotsa stuff too.
Your T is good.
It'll be ok.
Thanks,
Muffy
Posted by llrrrpp on August 22, 2006, at 23:21:57
In reply to (((((((HF :-) )))))Hope U ok., posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 23:15:46
Muffled,
you're hurting so much. Just let it out. finelinebob is right. If you can tell us a bit, maybe we can help. We love all parts of you muffly, even the parts we don't know yet-- because they're a part of YOU.Take care of your body today, okay? Don't hurt my muffled. Just don't start, and try to stay distracted. And come post on babble if you're in trouble. busy typing hands can't do much damage. Just post until you're exhausted. I've done it a few times. We can handle it muffled. so can your T. She cares, you know?
((((((((((((((((((((mufflie))))))))))))))))))))))
your friend,
-ll
Posted by james K on August 22, 2006, at 23:53:55
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:07:44
I've got tears. I care about you.
Do you know the music group Sly and the Family Stone?
Everybody Is A Star.
james k
Posted by Fallsfall on August 23, 2006, at 8:42:50
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by muffled on August 22, 2006, at 20:07:44
I know the evil, but I've become stronger than IT and you can, too. Your therapist wants you to try to describe the evil to her. Try to do that - she doesn't know the evil, you can let her know what you are feeling so that she can understand.
There is life after evil. You can find it.
(((((Muffled)))))
Love,
Falls
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 9:20:48
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by Fallsfall on August 23, 2006, at 8:42:50
Just usu. its mostly me unless there's a big controversy and I get kinda mixed up.
Very minimal damage. Thank God.
I just gotta think (and post ;-)
Just got irl kids to deal with too.
REALLY tired.
Crazy dreams.
Thank you.
I'll be back.
Sorry if I upset anyone.
I tough.
I always survive.
Got a supersize guardian angel.
Take care all.
Sometimes its hard isn't it?
Muffy
Posted by LadyBug on August 23, 2006, at 11:15:35
In reply to I'm ok, im ok., posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 9:20:48
Muffy you are amazing. I hope you are ok. Please take care you! You are important and I don't want you to be hurting. We are here for you always.
Hugs
LadyBug
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 21:13:14
In reply to (((((muff)))))) » muffled, posted by llrrrpp on August 22, 2006, at 23:21:57
> Muffled,
> you're hurting so much. Just let it out. finelinebob is right. If you can tell us a bit, maybe we can help. We love all parts of you muffly, even the parts we don't know yet-- because they're a part of YOU.**THANK YOU Ll.
But I can't let it out yet.
Still thinking.
Still running away.
>
> Take care of your body today, okay? Don't hurt my muffled. Just don't start, and try to stay distracted. And come post on babble if you're in trouble. busy typing hands can't do much damage. Just post until you're exhausted. I've done it a few times. We can handle it muffled. so can your T. She cares, you know?
>
> ((((((((((((((((((((mufflie))))))))))))))))))))))
>
> your friend,
> -ll:-)
Thanks for being my friend :-)
Yeah, Babble saved me some damage a few times. I just read and post until I tired and goto bed.
Thanks so much.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 22:23:07
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by james K on August 22, 2006, at 23:53:55
Posted by finelinebob on August 23, 2006, at 23:38:27
In reply to I'm ok, im ok., posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 9:20:48
> Sometimes its hard isn't it?
"Hard" does not even BEGIN to describe it.
((((((((((muffy))))))))))
Be well
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 23:44:16
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger**, posted by ElaineM on August 22, 2006, at 22:50:52
Thanks El.
Your an amazing person.
Haven't noticed any posts boutyour stuuff?
Thanks for caring.
Muffy
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 23:52:28
In reply to Re: Well fyi-**SI trigger** » muffled, posted by Fallsfall on August 23, 2006, at 8:42:50
> I know the evil, but I've become stronger than IT and you can, too. Your therapist wants you to try to describe the evil to her. Try to do that - she doesn't know the evil, you can let her know what you are feeling so that she can understand.
***Yeah, MAYBE I can say something when in impersonal curious scientist mode......
I dunno. Kid flipped last time. It was kindof awful.
Then if T trys to comfort THAT kid then Ikid will get hooked. Then she'll get too attached. And that'll cause problems.....
Oh God, I think the New kid maybe has the tears. What if she had tears?????????
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.
>
> There is life after evil. You can find it.***Yeah, I always survive. Thats what I told my T. There's no rational explanation as to why I still am here on this earth. I just seem to survive and keep going.....
>
> (((((Muffled)))))*** :-)
>
> Love,
> Falls********Awwww.... people keep saying that. Its weird and wonderful....I'm trying to let it be so......
Thanks Falls.
You've helped me b4 too .
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 23:53:42
In reply to Re: I'm ok, im ok. » muffled, posted by LadyBug on August 23, 2006, at 11:15:35
Posted by ElaineM on August 24, 2006, at 12:50:40
In reply to :-) » ElaineM, posted by muffled on August 23, 2006, at 23:44:16
> Thanks El.
> Your an amazing person.
> Haven't noticed any posts boutyour stuuff?
> Thanks for caring.
> MuffyThanks Muff. I really do care. I wish I could help more. I haven't posted much lately cause too much stuff is happening to me now. And I just feel that saying certain things, at certain times, on the board is not good. For myself, or anyone. But I don't want it to seem like I don't need, or trust you all anymore -- I do :-)
I feel stronger inside when I see you (and others) being so resilient. I guess we just adapt, or go with the flow -- Do what we have to, that's all.
You're having such a hard time and yet you still seem so brave :-) I'm glad your T keeps proving she'll be there for you, though I wish she could keep whatever's going on in her life from effecting your time together.
safe hugs, EL
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