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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 31. Go back in thread:
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:06:53
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » TherapyGirl, posted by antigua on June 22, 2006, at 16:16:50
Thanks, Antigua. It's nice to hear voices of reason when my head is spinning and my emotions are so out of control.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:08:54
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?), posted by B2chica on June 22, 2006, at 16:23:47
Thanks, B2C. My head is spinning. I'm really hoping she was having vacation-induced brain freeze or something, but it's hard to tell. Ever since she went part-time and became "semi-retired," it's been much, much harder to deal with any schedule irregularities. I'm beginning to think that therapists shouldn't be part-time.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:10:13
In reply to (((((((((((((TherapyGirl))))))))) » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on June 23, 2006, at 0:10:44
Thanks so much, Muffy. Your support touches my heart.
My little guy's nickname is BooBah, so feel free to add his name to your prayers. We are really hoping things turn out okay, but there are lots of potential complications.
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:18:36
In reply to What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?), posted by TherapyGirl on June 22, 2006, at 15:53:00
Thanks so much to all of you for your support and the reality check.
After reading your responses, I decided to call and leave my T a voice mail. I tried really, really hard to not scream or cuss or cry and I succeeded.
This is what I said: I obviously failed miserably in my efforts today to tell you how desperately I need a session with you during surgery week. I'm so frustrated and irritated. It didn't seem like you got it OR that you were very interested in trying very hard to reschedule me. I have had to do this a number of times to accommodate your schedule over the years, including when I had to switch my preferred therapy day to accommodate your new part-time schedule. I don't understand why you can't ask your clients on Wed. afternoon if any of them would be willing to switch to Thursday afternoon for that ONE WEEK. I don't know how much clearer I can be -- I need my session that week more than I've needed any other session in 21 years and you KNOW that's saying a lot. Please let me know what you can do. Thanks.
I'll let you all know if/when I hear back from her. If the answer is still "No," I'm going to quit therapy, at least until after the surgery. I can't deal with my angst about her AND get through surgery week.
Thanks again for all the support.
Posted by muffled on June 23, 2006, at 9:21:33
In reply to Re: I called and left her a message, posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:18:36
Posted by Poet on June 23, 2006, at 9:30:01
In reply to Re: I called and left her a message, posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:18:36
Hi TherapyGirl,
One cyber slap coming your T's way.
I hope she gets the message loud and clear that you really need her to be more supportive and accomodating.
*You'll have to get through it* should not mean you have to get through it alone. For that she gets another cyber slap from Poet.
I hope she realizes her mistake, note her mistake, not yours because you deserve more from her during this really hard time.
Poet
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 12:42:49
In reply to Re: I called and left her a message, posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 9:18:36
Okay, I promise this is my last update today. My T just called me back a few minutes ago (after she usually leaves for the day on Friday, so I figured she wasn't going to). She said, "You're right, you did not make it at all clear how badly you needed a session during surgery week." I guess she missed the tears in my eyes when I said, "I can't quite imagine getting through that week without a session." ??????????????????
At any rate, she has agreed to come back to the office after a meeting she has on Wed. (the story of her Wed. afternoon schedule has also changed from what she told me yesterday) at 7:30 p.m. Not ideal, but honestly I would have met with her at 2 a.m. if that was the only time available.
She also said we could talk about the communication issue next week. Oh, boy. I can tell how that's going to go already -- I feel I communicated fine and she just was not present with me. She thinks I was too subtle for her.
But at least she's going to meet with me during surgery week.
Thanks again for all the support. You Babblers are the best!
Posted by orchid on June 23, 2006, at 12:46:00
In reply to Re: She called me back, posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 12:42:49
Posted by B2chica on June 23, 2006, at 13:35:02
In reply to Re: She called me back, posted by TherapyGirl on June 23, 2006, at 12:42:49
That's Great! i'm SOOO glad you called her back!
good for you TG.
best wishes
b2c.
Posted by fairywings on June 23, 2006, at 14:43:30
In reply to What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?), posted by TherapyGirl on June 22, 2006, at 15:53:00
OMG!!!!! You've written it out so well, can you let loose on the computer - write it all out and fax it to her? (without editing?) She needs a huge cyberslap! That was just uncalled for......does she have children?
I'm so sorry TG. Glad you posted here.
((((((hugs))))))
fw
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 27, 2006, at 17:39:28
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » TherapyGirl, posted by fairywings on June 23, 2006, at 14:43:30
Thanks for the support, FW. I *think* it will be okay, but it's more drama than I needed two weeks before my little guy's surgery, ya' know?
I do think we must have been having two different conversations last week, though, and that's very frustrating. But it's also true that I still don't trust her to not screw me over like this. If I had just believed that she wouldn't do that to me and called to ask if she misunderstood my desperation, I would have saved myself a lot of tears, a lot of drama and another lost night of sleep.
<Sigh.>
Posted by fairywings on June 28, 2006, at 23:20:35
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » fairywings, posted by TherapyGirl on June 27, 2006, at 17:39:28
Posted by susan47 on June 29, 2006, at 11:13:21
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » fairywings, posted by TherapyGirl on June 27, 2006, at 17:39:28
I'm so sorry about your son needing serious surgery and please keep us posted on how everything goes .. your therapist sounds so much like she could be my last T, who I probably should still be seeing but don't trust .. it only took a few appointments to get that she has a lot of other stuff going on in her own head that can interfere with what's going on. If you've been with this T for 21 years (is that right?) though there must be a history of her doing good listening and good work with you but on the other hand all good things do come to an end I suppose .. friendships included and I guess a T relationship is like that too. I sometimes have to let go of people to, for my own good and it's just disappointing to have to pay someone and have them let you down .. because really, they should be supporting us more than any friend ever would, that is the emotional side of the contract we enter into. Damn, excuse my language. I'm a bit cynical about T's sometimes. I wish you so much good in whatever you have to do, but get as much good positive support from everyone else that you can, and exclude the therapist if you have to. IMO, she did let you down by not listening well and she's covering her tracks by saying it's your fault for not communicating it well enough ... ??? ... how much did you have to pay for that little blame game?
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 29, 2006, at 14:07:34
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » TherapyGirl, posted by susan47 on June 29, 2006, at 11:13:21
I paid $75. LOL
I'm hoping she'll redeem herself today. I had a meltdown yesterday and called and left her a message to please call me back even though I had a session today and she did. She was more like her usual self.
I know what you mean about T's who have a lot going on in their own lives. She doesn't most of the time, but there have definitely been a few times over the years where I've lost her. She usually realizes it after the fact and apologizes for it.
Thanks for the support.
Posted by susan47 on June 30, 2006, at 14:31:46
In reply to Re: What Would You Do??? (Maybe Trigger?) » susan47, posted by TherapyGirl on June 29, 2006, at 14:07:34
And also, did she redeem herself today? She really ought to be specific about how you weren't specific enough .. LOL
Posted by TherapyGirl on June 30, 2006, at 20:31:24
In reply to You're welcome » TherapyGirl, posted by susan47 on June 30, 2006, at 14:31:46
You're right about the specifics. We didn't spend much time talking about it because we spent most of the session talking about the surgery, which I am getting more panicked about every day. She did say that she didn't understand my desperation for a session that week. She thought I wanted one (and heard me ask for one), but somehow missed that I didn't think I could get through the week without it.
We did talk about my process of dealing with my anger with her this time without quitting therapy or threatening to quit. This is mostly thanks to the support I got on this board, btw. She was happy with my progress there.
And she did agree to call a moratorium on my being a grown-up who asks for what I need for the next few weeks. I told her I had to use all my grown-up-ness to get my child through this and I needed her to be more proactive and assertive than she normally is. She agreed and we came up with a plan for me to keep in touch with her. I will call her as needed between now and Wed. and she will check her voice mail every day. On Wed. night, we will meet. Thurs. morning, she will call me from her cell on her way into work because if the surgery starts on schedule, that will be right after they take him in and I'm pretty sure I'll be a basket case. For the rest of the day, I'll call and leave messages as needed and she'll call me back between every session if necessary. If something goes terribly wrong, she will get to me as soon as she can, although it will obviously take longer because she'll have sessions scheduled.
All in all, I'm satisfied that the immediate crisis is over. I will probably revisit the misunderstanding itself after I get myself and my child through the next few weeks.
Thanks again for all the support everybody.
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 6, 2006, at 8:23:53
In reply to Re: You're welcome (Update for everyone, too) » susan47, posted by TherapyGirl on June 30, 2006, at 20:31:24
My child's surgery has been postponed because there are no available PICU beds today. We'll find out later this afternoon whether there might be a bed available tomorrow. Of course, no one from the hospital bothered to call and tell us before we had all gotten up in the middle of the night and trekked there before sunrise.
Very, very frustrating. I'll update when I can.
Thanks for the support
Posted by muffled on July 6, 2006, at 22:22:53
In reply to SURGERY POSTPONED, posted by TherapyGirl on July 6, 2006, at 8:23:53
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 10, 2006, at 20:47:35
In reply to Oh God, I'm sorry. So hard. So hard.(((TGkid)))) (nm) » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on July 6, 2006, at 22:22:53
Hi, Everybody. My son's surgery has been rescheduled for Wed., July 12. We hope it's a "go" this time, but I guess we won't know until we get there. They did schedule this one an hour later, so at least I don't have to get up at 4 a.m.
My T has been great the last couple of weeks -- offered to drive in from out of town over the weekend if the surgery had been Fri. and something had gone wrong.
Thanks again for the support. I'll post an update as soon as I can afterwards, but it might be several days.
Posted by Dinah on July 10, 2006, at 21:13:29
In reply to Surgery Wednesday, posted by TherapyGirl on July 10, 2006, at 20:47:35
I'll be keeping you and your son in my thoughts.
That was very caring of your therapist.
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 17, 2006, at 17:33:50
In reply to Surgery Wednesday, posted by TherapyGirl on July 10, 2006, at 20:47:35
My son came home from the hospital today. All in all, things went pretty well, but we had a few scary days at first. Both lungs partially collapsed and he gained 6-8 lbs. of fluid. They sent him home with oxygen for now because he is having trouble when he sleeps. But he's done amazingly well considering what he's been through.
Thanks for the support, good thoughts and prayers, everybody!
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2006, at 17:41:31
In reply to We're home from the hospital..., posted by TherapyGirl on July 17, 2006, at 17:33:50
That's wonderful!
You must be relieved - and exhausted. Don't forget to make arrangements so that you can get some rest as well.
Posted by muffled on July 25, 2006, at 23:24:46
In reply to We're home from the hospital..., posted by TherapyGirl on July 17, 2006, at 17:33:50
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 26, 2006, at 12:51:21
In reply to Howsit going? (nm) » TherapyGirl, posted by muffled on July 25, 2006, at 23:24:46
Hi, Muffy. Thanks for asking about me. Things are going pretty well. My little guy gets a little better each day and is doing remarkably well 2 weeks after open-heart surgery. We took him to the pediatrician this morning and she agreed that he's doing well. He's still more tired than usual and a little anemic and still has some fluid in his lungs, but all in all we feel very lucky.
Things with my T have settled WAY down and she actually was very, very supportive during the hospital stay. I really appreciate the support I got here to go back and ask AGAIN for what I needed from her.
Hope you are well, Muffled. Thanks again for asking about me.
Posted by muffled on July 27, 2006, at 0:00:26
In reply to Re: Howsit going? » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on July 26, 2006, at 12:51:21
Thank you for letting me know.
Our kids are so special to us.
It must've been so scarey and helpless feeling.
So glad you little one is doing as well as he is.
Sounds like he is.
I'm glad things worked out with your T too. That must've been helpful for you.
Yeah, communication. Lotsa misunderstandings when we don't speak up.
I'm at that place now.
You've inspired me to speak up to my T.
Take care,
I'll send some prayers your way.
Muffled
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