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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Reggie BoStar on June 10, 2006, at 12:07:03
Hi All,
I wrote an earlier post about CBT failure to help alleviate severe depression.I had my first bout of severe depression when I was 10, inspired by a few traumas that year. When I finally got old enough to receive actual treatment other than scolding and "snap out of it" nonsense, I tried everything - psychodynamic, medications, Electro-convulsive, CBT, etc, etc. The latest was CBT. Nothing worked, and as a special bonus I became an alcoholic along the way. After a lifetime of being alone with all this, I've about run out of strength to stay alive.
Now two things have happened, the first of which I suspected would always be the one to tip the scales:
1. I'm way too interested in someone I shouldn't be - I'm just too far below the radar of a beautiful, fantastic genius. I knew I'd be crazy to get this interested, but I can't just switch that sort of emotion on and off when I want to. I've been doing this all my life, until now I'm still alone and finally out of strength to deal with it again.
2. I just found out that my impending retirement is gone - the funds and equity I thought were there have mostly evaporated with no warning.
These are both making me desperate to pick up and just drink myself to death. Doesn't look like a fun way to go if I let it happen by itself.
Evidently it's going to be the usual adolescent heartbreak (that's my level of emotional development, what luck) for a stupid old bastard who can't do that again, and skid row living without money.
Sorry to vent, I needed to unload about CBT again. The new stuff was added because sh*t has happened at the worst possible time.
Posted by pegasus on June 11, 2006, at 12:33:01
In reply to Now CBT failure with added fun, spiralling down, posted by Reggie BoStar on June 10, 2006, at 12:07:03
Hi Reggie,
I'm so sorry that things are bad for you right now. And definitely don't feel bad about venting. That's what babble's best for, sometimes.
Your life sounds really painful. I'm glad that you shared your story, for what that's worth. It's hard to know what to say in response. It doesn't sound like there's much that anyone could say that would be helpful. But your story really makes my heart ache. I hope that something turns around for you.
peg
Posted by Reggie BoStar on June 11, 2006, at 12:46:39
In reply to Re: Now CBT failure with added fun, spiralling dow, posted by pegasus on June 11, 2006, at 12:33:01
> Hi Reggie,
>
> I'm so sorry that things are bad for you right now. And definitely don't feel bad about venting. That's what babble's best for, sometimes.
>
> Your life sounds really painful. I'm glad that you shared your story, for what that's worth. It's hard to know what to say in response. It doesn't sound like there's much that anyone could say that would be helpful. But your story really makes my heart ache. I hope that something turns around for you.
>
> pegThanx pegasus
I go into an outpatient program this week. It's only a one week program, but I've been there before and it helps somewhat. Also, I see my shrink on Wed and my basic message will be "fix me!".
It's the week after the program that I'm worried about. My only defense will be doubling up on AA meetings. There are a lot of those around here (many drunks like myself I guess; imagine how many others outside these programs there must be).
Thanx again and have a good day,
Reggie BoStar
Posted by muffled on June 12, 2006, at 11:39:43
In reply to Now CBT failure with added fun, spiralling down, posted by Reggie BoStar on June 10, 2006, at 12:07:03
Hi,
Sorry things are so sh*tty right now :-(
Glad you have the outpatient thing.
Lotsa AA meeting CAN be good, but watch who you hang with.
Also, theres lotsa cheep ways to have fun.
What do you like doing?
Itsgood to do pleasant activities.
I volunteer in an inner city drop in center.
Lotsa people there don't got much to be happy about. When I see one of them smile, its GLORIOUS!! Cuz its REALLY special.
There are moments of joy.
Please hang in there.
I been dry 11 yrs. But not necc. clean.
Alcohol is EXTREEMLY important to me. But if I drink I'll lose my kids. So I don't. Dunno how I've managed? Love my kids I guess.
I'm rambling.
Take care,
Muffled
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