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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on May 31, 2006, at 20:46:40
My schedule and my t's schedule don't mesh for the next three weeks. Its the longest I haven't seen him since my friends die. I might need some camp comfort, I miss him already.
rach
Posted by Daisym on June 1, 2006, at 0:53:54
In reply to Camp Comfort, posted by rubenstein on May 31, 2006, at 20:46:40
It is probably time to do spring cleaning and air the cabins out anyway. The dreaded "V" season is coming.
I'll meet you there and we can dust and sweep. And then you can tell me about each of your special friends, if you'd like. I know they live on in your heart.
You aren't alone Rachel. Don't forget that.
Posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 14:40:14
In reply to Camp Comfort, posted by rubenstein on May 31, 2006, at 20:46:40
Posted by rubenstein on June 1, 2006, at 23:17:24
In reply to Its sunny and nice at Camp Comfort today. (nm), posted by muffled on June 1, 2006, at 14:40:14
20 days and counting.
I spent time with friends tonight, that helped.
Is it bad to be so attached to the strength of your therapist, to rely on that for a while?
rachel
Posted by Daisym on June 2, 2006, at 1:25:52
In reply to Re: Its sunny and nice at Camp Comfort today., posted by rubenstein on June 1, 2006, at 23:17:24
I hope not. My therapist's strength has sustained me through some dark days.
Using the model of self-psychology, he believes that allowing me to "take him with me," to internalize him allows me to feel an anchor within myself. As we do this deep work, we've ripped down so many defenses to get to my core...to find the real me. But how do you walk around without your defenses, and without a comfortable core self? You borrow from a trusted "other" -- and you are lucky to have a great "other" -- your therapist.
This is a really hard time for you. Lean as hard as you need to on your friends and family for support. Being attached is a good thing, just let yourself have what you need right now.
Trust me on this -- I KNOW how hard it is to do that!
Posted by muffled on June 2, 2006, at 13:51:38
In reply to Re: Its sunny and nice at Camp Comfort today., posted by rubenstein on June 1, 2006, at 23:17:24
> 20 days and counting.
> I spent time with friends tonight, that helped.
> Is it bad to be so attached to the strength of your therapist, to rely on that for a while?
> rachel***I don't think its bad as long as you keep the relationship in perspective.
My T made some new boundaries w/me :-( cuz I been really having a hard time and leaving messages and getting everything all mixed up in my head, until I'm convinced she wants to dump me. This all happens within 48 hrs. of last appt. So we gonna talk about it next week. She gonna have 1 appt/wk and 1 phone call/wk. and then its more clear to me. The phone call is so I have something to check in when I start to get all wound up that she gonna dump me. So she can reassure me.
I feel alot ridiculous about it all....
But I guess its what I need, and I have to let that be ok.
I need to let myself lean on my T some as part of therapy and the therapy relationship, but be able to stand on my own and create a network of support thru friends and family. I just don't know how to 'talk' to people really. I put on a good show, but there's a wall that won't be breached. Not even w/my T, though I think the wall may be weakening.
Its really hard when our T's are gone.
But really, we need to remember that they are comming back and its gonna be ok. Oh but its HARD.
Camp comfort is great.
Can you post what you would like best to see at 'camp?'.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by fairywings on June 3, 2006, at 18:47:27
In reply to Camp Comfort, posted by rubenstein on May 31, 2006, at 20:46:40
Oh Rachel....three weeks? That would be really hard. I'm with daisy, I dread my T going on vacation...I'd guess it's about time too.
Hang in there!
hugs,
fw
Posted by rubenstein on June 4, 2006, at 20:45:43
In reply to Re: Camp Comfort » rubenstein, posted by fairywings on June 3, 2006, at 18:47:27
Thanks everyone
I appreciated all your input and support
I just had to make my family come home early because I am sick
I guess I will be visiting the camp's infirmary tom.
Does anyone else get mroe depressed when they are sick?
rach
Posted by jammerlich on June 4, 2006, at 22:53:00
In reply to thanks, posted by rubenstein on June 4, 2006, at 20:45:43
I'm so sorry you're sick. It's just rotten timing. And, yes, I get more depressed when I'm sick. It feels very lonely to me. But I know that's from when I was a kid. I'm not sure if my mother was a bit germophobic or if she didn't know at all how to nurture, but she'd always send me off to my room and make me stay there until I was well. She'd hardly come in at all and she'd never touch me. Most of the time I'd try very hard not to let on I was sick.
But I'm not scared of germs, so I'll keep you company in the infirmary as much as you want. We can play games, or listen to music, or I can read you a book. We can just sit quietly, if that's what you want. But I'll stay right there beside you for as long as you want me.
Posted by rubenstein on June 5, 2006, at 19:20:34
In reply to Re: thanks » rubenstein, posted by jammerlich on June 4, 2006, at 22:53:00
> 14 days
and I am feeling a little better
things are looking up
rachI'm so sorry you're sick. It's just rotten timing. And, yes, I get more depressed when I'm sick. It feels very lonely to me. But I know that's from when I was a kid. I'm not sure if my mother was a bit germophobic or if she didn't know at all how to nurture, but she'd always send me off to my room and make me stay there until I was well. She'd hardly come in at all and she'd never touch me. Most of the time I'd try very hard not to let on I was sick.
>
> But I'm not scared of germs, so I'll keep you company in the infirmary as much as you want. We can play games, or listen to music, or I can read you a book. We can just sit quietly, if that's what you want. But I'll stay right there beside you for as long as you want me.
Posted by rubenstein on June 7, 2006, at 19:46:54
In reply to Re: thanks, posted by rubenstein on June 5, 2006, at 19:20:34
I fell of the horse today with my SIing.
I miss my therapist and can't call him. And then all that was on the news tonight was about college kids and SIing. Plus, I can't lose weight and I still feel sick.
Did I say that I miss my therapist?
sorry for the whining
rach
Posted by fallsfall on June 7, 2006, at 19:55:02
In reply to need help (trigger), posted by rubenstein on June 7, 2006, at 19:46:54
Good thing you are at Camp Comfort! It can be hard when your therapist is away. I know that the last time my therapist was gone I was so sick that I couldn't do anything at all. It was 25% flu, 75% missing my therapist. But when he came back things were better. So be charitable towards yourself. Know that this IS a hard time, and just do the best you can.
This is the time to be extra nice to yourself. Go out for dinner. See a movie. Eat ice cream (my personal favorite). Post here. Some people like luxurious baths, or massages. Take a look at "The Woman's Comfort Book" - it has great suggestions of ways to be good to yourself.
Above all, don't beat yourself up about falling off the horse. Next time you go riding, ask for an extra safety belt to hold you on. I know they have them at the Camp Comfort Stables.
What special things can you do for yourself until he gets back?
Posted by fairywings on June 7, 2006, at 20:23:54
In reply to need help (trigger), posted by rubenstein on June 7, 2006, at 19:46:54
(((rachel)))
I read on MSN about the SIing too.
I'm with you on the weight thing.
Hope the time passes quickly till you can see your T again.fw
Posted by littleone on June 7, 2006, at 21:29:07
In reply to need help (trigger), posted by rubenstein on June 7, 2006, at 19:46:54
I really like the line in Batman Begins where they say "Why do we fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up."
Try not to beat yourself up too much about the SIing. It is hard to cope when T's go away. Maybe you could use it as an opportunity to think about how your coping strategies weren't strong enough this time round and to try and think of things that your T could help with before he/she leaves next time. You just need to make sure you talk to your T about your SIing and about future coping strategies.
My T and I have worked on this every time he needs to leave and I always have his hanky, he writes me letters, I sit in his waiting room while he's gone, I drop journal writings off at his office. Things like that.
As well as that, I have to work real hard at coping while he's away. I need to really make a big effort to make sure my time's filled up. I write up a list beforehand of things I can do while he's gone, like have dinner at a coffee shop, get massages during my regular T session times, go on hikes, go places where I know I can take lots of photos, plan to watch certain TV programs, plan to do certain activities at home that will keep me busy. Whatever it takes to stay busy. It's very hard to think of enough things to do. But it does help. And keep in mind that it's real hard to think of things when you're sitting there with nothing to do right now. You need to plan them in advance.
I also have a Comfort Book which I use a lot now and helps a lot.
Would you like to come to Camp Comfort with me today? I brought a little bird along today to sit with us in the garden if that's okay. There's lots of flowers out and you can feed the bird little bits of grass seeds. He sings and twitters back to us. We can watch the tadpoles and guppies in the dam and we can swing on the swings and play on the see saw a little bit. It's sunny today, but there are lots of shady spots if you get too warm.
Posted by rubenstein on June 8, 2006, at 9:53:06
In reply to Re: Coping Strategies (slight SI trigger) » rubenstein, posted by littleone on June 7, 2006, at 21:29:07
Thanks for the advice, I am going on a family vacation tomorrow which will wither be good or traumatic. At least I can cal him next week and get some sun on the beach. And I should try to feel less guilty about the siing. Coping strategioes is a good thing, and I like the idea about pampering myself and prepearing better for the next time he leaves which will be in August, I think. Thanks all....camp comfort is helping
rach
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