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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by canadagirl on April 16, 2006, at 11:26:41
I must be the only one involved in this type of counselling here.I have to finish up in a couple of weeks. Meaning maybe one more email from me and one from the counsellor. I don't really know how to give myself closure to this. It's funny, I didn't think I would be this emotional about ending a relationship based on a few emails back and forth. But this relationship has come to mean something to me. And it also comes with some other "endings" too going on in my life right now. Any ideas? I don't want to sound too..."transferency" LOL!!!
Posted by Tamar on April 16, 2006, at 19:59:28
In reply to ending online counselling, posted by canadagirl on April 16, 2006, at 11:26:41
> I must be the only one involved in this type of counselling here.I have to finish up in a couple of weeks. Meaning maybe one more email from me and one from the counsellor. I don't really know how to give myself closure to this. It's funny, I didn't think I would be this emotional about ending a relationship based on a few emails back and forth. But this relationship has come to mean something to me. And it also comes with some other "endings" too going on in my life right now. Any ideas? I don't want to sound too..."transferency" LOL!!!
Hmm… I know nothing about online therapy, but if I recall, the usual way to approach termination in face-to-face therapy is to spend time at the end talking about your feelings about ending therapy. If you have one email left, I think perhaps it makes sense to talk about those feelings now. Many people feel very sad at the end of therapy, and many people experience feelings of abandonment or rejection.
It’s natural that the relationship has come to mean something to you. I don’t think that’s too ‘transferency’.
Have you tried writing down for *yourself* how you feel about coming to the end of this relationship? Maybe if you try journalling you might find ways of raising the subject in your email.
And maybe it would be OK to send a one-liner asking your therapist how s/he usually handles termination.
I hope that’s of some help.
Tamar
Posted by canadagirl on April 17, 2006, at 8:37:29
In reply to Re: ending online counselling » canadagirl, posted by Tamar on April 16, 2006, at 19:59:28
Yes I think you are right and I will do that. It's so hard to put "those" feelings out there though. Since I have been sufficiently level headed throughout all of this..except now.
Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2006, at 8:52:53
In reply to ending online counselling, posted by canadagirl on April 16, 2006, at 11:26:41
Email is actually a pretty intimate method of conversation. Like posting. Not with my therapist of course, as he's truly awful at it. But I would have a hard time saying goodbye to my Babble friends.
I agree with Special K. I'd definitely try to see if it can be addressed like any other termination, and maybe woven into the other goodbyes in your life.
Posted by Tamar on April 17, 2006, at 13:31:39
In reply to Re: ending online counselling Tamar, posted by canadagirl on April 17, 2006, at 8:37:29
> Yes I think you are right and I will do that. It's so hard to put "those" feelings out there though. Since I have been sufficiently level headed throughout all of this..except now.
Sure, it really is hard. And you might feel a little uneasy about it; a little vulnerable perhaps. After all, you're talking about revealing something that's very personal, right at the point when you're having to consider facing your feelings on your own. I think any competent therapist would understand your feelings about your therapy ending and also your feelings about talking about the relationship at this point.
I don't know if this will help, but when I went through termination about a year ago my therapist told me he'd enjoyed the work we'd done together and he'd miss it. And I'm sure that's true of the vast majority of therapists when they finish working with a client.
Tamar
Posted by shrinking violet on April 17, 2006, at 18:25:51
In reply to Re: ending online counselling Tamar, posted by canadagirl on April 17, 2006, at 8:37:29
> Yes I think you are right and I will do that. It's so hard to put "those" feelings out there though. Since I have been sufficiently level headed throughout all of this..except now.
I understand, but you definitely need to bring this up with her now because if you dont (and trust me on this) you'll regret it later and wonder what would have happened if you had. Plus, do yourself the favor and bring it up; it could help immensely and save you a lot of pain later on (again, trust me lol).
Good luck.
sv
Posted by canadagirl on April 18, 2006, at 3:53:56
In reply to Re: ending online counselling Tamar, posted by canadagirl on April 17, 2006, at 8:37:29
OH boy I better take the advice of all you experienced Babblers out there. Thanks, Shrinking Violet. Yes I am gonna do it (sigh). I think I would regret not saying goodbye the way I need to. In fact, I'm even regretting not doing it now and I haven't even done it or not yet (LOL).
I'll let ya know how it goes.
This is the end of the thread.
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