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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 19:46:39
the thing is though that I don't really want to talk to him. I just want to leave him a message.
I feel this strong need to be connected right now. I feel like I shouldn't though, but I want to. I need to "check in" you know?
I'm going through a lot of new stuff, and I need a little reassurance. I don't know if he'd mind or not.
Posted by fallsfall on March 16, 2006, at 20:41:21
In reply to I want to call my therapist......., posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 19:46:39
I understand the need to check in.
Most therapists won't call you back if you don't specifically ask them to when you leave a message. Have you ever talked about phone contact between sessions? Different therapists handle it differently. When is your next session?
I might be tempted to call after hours so that I would KNOW that I wouldn't talk to him, that I could just leave a message that ends with "No need to call me back, I'll see you at my next session".
Posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 21:06:05
In reply to Re: I want to call my therapist....... » sleepygirl, posted by fallsfall on March 16, 2006, at 20:41:21
yeah...after hours is a good idea
next session is Tuesday
I've used phone contact when I felt I really needed it, and it was fine, but I have just left a few messages (in the past), and I don't really know if it is Ok or not. He never said whether it was or wasn't. I think I'll ask next time. I hope he doesn't say that it isn't OK, cause then I've been bothering him.
thanks :-)
Posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 22:07:26
In reply to I want to call my therapist......., posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 19:46:39
I always feel like such a weirdo doing it though...
It seems he is away anyway, but I left a message saying that I was just "checking in" and that I have a nice relationship with his answering machine, and I have a lot of new stuff going on, okay stuff, but a lotIt's pretty much all I needed. I feel this need to "report" all the new stuff to him though, kind of in the way a kid might do on their first day of school or something like that.
When I was a kid there wasn't anyone to "check in" with most of the time when I really needed it, perhaps why I have felt so overwhelmed and utterly alone much of the time, and then the people I wanted to protect me were the most dangerous ones of all. I was always sort of distressed/confused/hurting/scared/alone
I think it must be nice to have a safe place/person to go to....I do, with my therapist now, but it is of course a limited relationship, within a time limit and all that, and now I'm not a kid anymore, but in a lot of ways I feel like one.
One of the things I've had a bit of grieving about are the things my parents didn't teach me, not even the abuse, but the neglect...the incredible neglect when I was really in needanyone know what I mean?
Posted by fallsfall on March 17, 2006, at 8:03:23
In reply to so I called...., posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 22:07:26
Yes. I know what you mean.
And your therapist can help you understand that need, and give you an idea of what it is like to have that need filled. I'm glad you called him.
But do ask him about the calls. The last time I asked my therapist if I was calling too much he looked at me like I had three heads. Obviously I wasn't calling too much.
Sometimes we just need for someone else to know what is going on with us so we aren't so alone with it.
Posted by Dinah on March 17, 2006, at 8:41:44
In reply to so I called...., posted by sleepygirl on March 16, 2006, at 22:07:26
I know what you mean. I even call and just listen to the voicemail sometimes to ground me. I have old answering machine tapes and a relaxation tape with his voice, but the voicemail is with him, so for some reason it's more effective.
I've kind of learned to at least leave a brief message, because he sees a lot of hangups as a possible message that I'd like him to call me.
Ok, admittedly sometimes that *is* what I really want and I "forget" to leave a message. But usually I'll just say that I'm touching base and he doesn't need to return my call.
He used to tell me he didn't mind how often I spoke to his machine, as long as I didn't expect him to call me all the time. Now he tells me to call him (and he'll call back) as often as I need to, because he knows me well enough to know I won't call more than he can tolerate.
So, it's not weird or unusual, and it's likely wise to ask him his phoning policy, since policies vary so widely.
This is the end of the thread.
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