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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by daisym on March 14, 2006, at 12:29:41
Here's one to ponder
I was a young teen, about 15, cleaning up and decorating for a party. I'm pretty sure the party was taking place in an apartment that I've been in but can't place at the moment. I'm anxious but excited. The dream shifts and the party has started but there are only a few friends there...they are all babble friends. I'm on my knees picking up some ice when I look up and see my therapist come in. I smile and move across the room, still on my knees, sort of an upright crawl. I get over to him and he comments about the crawling -- I can't quite remember the comment -- and I get embarrassed and stand up. I ask him "what are you doing here?" but with delight. He says he came to check on me and see how things were going. I chat with him a few minutes, sort of flirty but then start to grow uncomfortable. He isn't supposed to be here. He leaves after a few minutes and I sort of dance over to Tender and say with pride, "that was X --can you believe he stopped in?" And she says she knew who it was and she was waiting to be introduced but I never brought him over. She wondered if I was embarrassed for him to meet them, or them to meet him. I didn't know what she meant by that.
I can't remember anymore of the dream. When I tried to figure it out, I remembered the feeling at the end really well. I went to a dance in high school once with a boy I really, really liked. We met over the summer, sort of one-on-one. But at the dance he was very different and so was I. I couldn't relax, it was too public that I liked him and I didn't want to have to talk with anyone about those feelings.
Posted by Dinah on March 14, 2006, at 12:39:36
In reply to Dream, posted by daisym on March 14, 2006, at 12:29:41
I'm not sure I can say anything useful in words, but I smiled in recognition when I heard you recount it.
Posted by fallsfall on March 14, 2006, at 14:51:43
In reply to Dream, posted by daisym on March 14, 2006, at 12:29:41
Seems perfectly normal to me. I'm glad he came to check up on you.
Posted by madeline on March 14, 2006, at 15:34:14
In reply to Dream, posted by daisym on March 14, 2006, at 12:29:41
doesn't sound too bad. It was nice to have him check on you.
I only ever dream about having sex with my therapist, he's never "just come by".
Although once I did have dream sex with Viggo Mortensen, that once a refreshing change of pace.
:)
Maddie
Posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 21:19:29
In reply to Re: Dream, posted by madeline on March 14, 2006, at 15:34:14
We talked about the dream today. Two very strange things for me. First, I brought him the post, as written. Usually I put his name in and sort of "fix" it so it sounds better, and take out the babble reference. I didn't do that. He asked why I was referring to him in the third person (I dunno) and found it interesting that I didn't put his name back in.
The other thing was that after I started associating to the dream I got very uncomfortable. I told him I wanted to process it more on my own, so could we please stop? He agreed, of course. I'm still not sure why it felt so dangerous to pursue why this was such a vivid dream.
His initial thoughts were that it was about starting group tomorrow night. I've asked him a bunch of times to go with me, actually, to go first and tell me how it is. He also noted the crawling posture and then standing up. He also said it does sound like something he would do, only call, not come by. He reminded me that on Monday he had touched base early, because he hadn't been able to reach me over the weekend, and he had actually said, "You doing ok?" -- which he typically doesn't come right out and ask.
Anyway, I'll have to think about this whole thing some more. I think he's probably right about the whole group thing. I'm terrified they won't like me, that their stuff is worth being in therapy over and mine's not, and they will think I'm doing therapy wrong, and convince my therapist that we are doing it wrong and too much and..and..and..
I'm stopping now. Tomorrow is going to be a really long day. I have the pdoc too. I suspect I'll need support -- I hope you are all ready!
Yikes.
Posted by Annierose on March 14, 2006, at 22:01:21
In reply to And the therapists says..., posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 21:19:29
I didn't know that group started tomorrow. You can do this. I know it's scary and hard, but rewarding things often are. I'll be thinking about you and sending you encouraging thoughts.
Everybody will be pulling for you. And of course they will like you. You are likeable. AND, you deserve to be there! You endured more than a child should (unforunately). My thoughts are with you.
Posted by fallsfall on March 14, 2006, at 22:08:28
In reply to And the therapists says..., posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 21:19:29
I'm ready.
You are allowed to be shy at first if you want to be. You may be asked to introduce yourself. You can make that introduction anything you want. You don't have to talk about anything you aren't comfortable talking about. You DO have control about that.
I hope they are really nice. A nice group can be a real comfort. Give it time - it takes time to get used to. Just let it happen the way it happens.
I'll be with you.
Falls.
Posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:10:34
In reply to Dream, posted by daisym on March 14, 2006, at 12:29:41
Good luck with group tomorrow daisy. I'd guess if this is a new group, there are a lot of nervous ppl out there tonight.I loved your dream AND that you could take it in and discuss it with your T! ; ) so awesome. the thing that struck me was the crawling thing - like you felt once you were made aware, you had to grow up all of a sudden - or put on your grown up self. It must feel so comforting that you know he's thinking about you and concerned for you enough to check in.
fw
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 15, 2006, at 8:48:18
In reply to And the therapists says..., posted by Daisym on March 14, 2006, at 21:19:29
Good luck, Daisy. I'll keep the good thought for you, but I'm not at all worried that people won't like you or will think you're doing therapy wrong. It's right for you and you and your T are doing amazing work.
Keep us posted about how it all goes.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 15, 2006, at 14:50:58
In reply to Re: Dream » daisym, posted by fairywings on March 14, 2006, at 23:10:34
>
> the thing that struck me was the crawling thing - like you felt once you were made aware, you had to grow up all of a sudden - or put on your grown up self.That's an interesting thought about it. It makes sense to me. I also have lots of instances in dreams when I am totally unselfconscious about how I look or what I'm doing until someone notices-then like Daisy, I "straighten up". Interesting take on it. Kids are so innocently unselfconscious. It's a beautiful thing. I think we need to return to that feeling more than we do now. :)
Good luck in group, Daisy. It's perfectly okay to just hang back and observe if you want. Or to engage. Whatever feels right for you.
gg
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