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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 4:23:02
It's about 5:00 am. I've been up since two. It's very quiet and very cold outside.
I am overwhemingly sad.
Maybe a little lonely too.
My therapist and I have been making a lot of progress lately on some pretty heavy things and I think it is just a backlash of me being so open with him. I have really connected with him and it feels so good. But it seems as though I can only carry that goodness around for a finite period of time.
Then I go back to the way I was - disjointed and sort of floating and afraid.
I don't know why that translates into sadness. It never has before. But it is.
We now meet twice a week and it helps.
A friend is coming over for breakfast, maybe that will perk me up.
Hope everyone is better than me.
Love
M
Posted by LegWarmers on February 19, 2006, at 9:32:07
In reply to Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning, posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 4:23:02
> I don't know why that translates into sadness. It never has before. But it is.
: ( I hate when I feel like that, hopefully it wont last.
>
> A friend is coming over for breakfast, maybe that will perk me up.I hope so too! I want to come for breakfast with you ; )
being with a friedn is a great way to distract yourself, try and keep busy today
It sucks being up so early too : ( and that often can make your mood feel worse... getting a good night sleep tonight will probably help make tomorrow easierenjoy breakfast!
(((Madeline)))
Posted by All Done on February 19, 2006, at 10:39:11
In reply to Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning, posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 4:23:02
Hi, Madeline. I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the same thing. Unfortunately, I don't know how to make it any better. :(
I keep saying I don't know how much more attached I can get to my T. Each time I've seen him lately, the attachment deepens, making even harder in between sessions. I think he's giving me something I've missed and been missing. Something I need. And it hurts to have a taste of it and then go back to "real life". Sigh. I hope this whole process really works because it sort of feels like a cruel joke at the moment. :(
Sorry I don't have any advice for you. Sometimes I know it helps to know you're not alone, though.
(((((madeline)))))
Take care. I hope you had a nice breakfast with your friend.
Laurie
Posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 11:35:47
In reply to Re: Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning » madeline, posted by All Done on February 19, 2006, at 10:39:11
he was allergic to one of my cats. He was fairly miserable. Oh well.
And my dog acted just like a little brat.
I cooked a nice breakfast though.Anyway, I'm sure tomorrow will be better.
M
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2006, at 11:54:20
In reply to Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning, posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 4:23:02
I think the ability to hold on to that goodness stretches as it begins to feel more a stable part of your life, and the sad times become less.
But there may be some natural grieving involved for what you now know is possible, but didn't have before.
Are there any activities that can help you connect between sessions? Writing letters to your therapist, or keeping a journal? Maybe meditation?
Or you could accept the sadness and figure out what you really do need to grieve, if you think that would be helpful.
I'm sorry you're feeling sad.
Posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 19:03:48
In reply to Re: Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning » madeline, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2006, at 11:54:20
It does feel a lot like grief. I think I am just going to allow myself to feel it and hopefully figure out why I'm grieving.
I suspect I'm realizing all I have missed in the past 35 years of my life.
Thanks for all of your posts.
M
Posted by Daisym on February 19, 2006, at 20:58:58
In reply to Re: Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning » Dinah, posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 19:03:48
I was going to suggest grief as well. I use to have an article on grief and therapy; I'll try to find it.
I think the attachment makes it safe to feel all the upset we just couldn't before. And having someone to grieve with is really important. We have a lot to grieve but mostly the deep seated feeling of being loved and accepted for who we are that most children get from their parents. It is sad that we are getting it now, from our therapists. And part of the grief is not being able to undo what was done and reclaim what was lost. Part of the grief is how we carry forward old hurts and play them out.
Sadness is actually a good sign. It is part of healing.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by happyflower on February 20, 2006, at 13:59:21
In reply to Pretty depressed this early Sunday morning, posted by madeline on February 19, 2006, at 4:23:02
(((((Madeline)))) I read your post but couldn't respond because my keyboard was messed up.
I think the feeling of sadness is a sign of healing too, just like others have said. And well you know how I feel about my T . :-)
There are some days I just want to call him up and talk and some days I hope I run into him at the gym. Kinda like comfort from old socks. LOL
He would die laughing if I told him this! And when I am mad at him he can be a stinky sock, and when he isn't getting it, he can be a holey sock, and when he is strict with boundries he can be a new wool sock. LOL Okay enough with the socks.
You are doing good work, so give yourself a break and relax. When is your next appointment. I hope you feel better today! :)
This is the end of the thread.
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