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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 0:41:18
My 13 yo daughter came home today wiht three thin red magic marker marks across her wrist. I said, "What's this?" And she said oh this friend of her had come up to her a school and marked her quickly 3 times, and then said You're a cutter! Like she was saying "you're it!" in tag. I told her that I would like her not to do that again. Then she and my older daughter got into a discussion about it, and my older daughter said "that's so disrespectful!" and the younger one came back, but I won't repeat what she said, it was intolerant. They continued their discussion, and I hope the older can influence the younger to be more tolerant of people.
Anyway, later I went to talk to my daughter. I'd never told my kids I cut when I was a teen. I asked about her friend, about the abusive father, about how unhappy the friend is, and how my daughter's dealin w/it. It was so hard to admit to this perfect child, who is sweet, and loyal, a great daughter, and wonderful frined,a perfect student, that her mom was 'emo" as a teen - that I had cut as a teen. She hugged me and we talked.
Her friend was cutting on her legs, but has stopped, she's in therapy, but her father is horrible, such a tyrrant. Now the friend isn't wearing shorts or bathing suits. Sad, that at 15 she sees no way out. I will talk to her.
It's brought up a lot of feelings for me - a panic like I'm suffocating bec. of the images of the cutting intermingled with the rape. And then I think about my daughters friend, and her legs and the bloody tissues, and I find it so depressing. He dad is sick and needs therapy and meds. He's so harsh, mean, cruel.SAD
fw
Posted by zebracrossing on February 17, 2006, at 1:56:15
In reply to teens and cutting **Trigger**, posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 0:41:18
I started cutting at 14 and then carving initials and stuff onto my skin.like the word death on my upper arm , so know all abt it,zc@mailbox.co.za
mail me if u like
Posted by B2chica on February 17, 2006, at 9:00:36
In reply to Re: teens and cutting **Trigger**, posted by zebracrossing on February 17, 2006, at 1:56:15
me too at 14, but i stopped when i moved away from parents at 19, then started again 3 years ago. i agree, i think of all the scar tissue and lingering marks i have. i understand not wearing a bathing suit and not 'joining in' because of the marks.
i so glad though that you have such a wonderful relationship with your daughter. tolerance is taught and you are doing a great job.
b2c.
Posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 14:24:20
In reply to teens and cutting **Trigger**, posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 0:41:18
WHY is it that I don't even remember writing this?!!!! That's freaking me out! I came to post and ask if you all thought I'd made the wrong decision to tell her, and what the consequences of that might be, and saw this, and I was like OMG I don't even remember writing this!fw
thanks zebra and B2
Posted by Gee on February 17, 2006, at 16:24:23
In reply to Re: I don't remember this!! **Trigger** » fairywings, posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 14:24:20
I think you made an excellent choice to tell her. I wish my mom would have been more open about my aunts depression when she was a teen. It makes for a way more open realationship
Posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 18:09:06
In reply to Re: I don't remember this!! **Trigger**, posted by Gee on February 17, 2006, at 16:24:23
Thanks Gee, I feel pretty open with our 15 year old, but it's eating me up inside that our 13 year old could be so insensitive toward ppl who are hurting so badly. Sometimes I feel like I just don't really know her, and then I think I raised her, how did this happen?
fw
Posted by LegWarmers on February 18, 2006, at 17:14:14
In reply to Re: I don't remember this!! **Trigger** » fairywings, posted by fairywings on February 17, 2006, at 14:24:20
>
> WHY is it that I don't even remember writing this?!!!! That's freaking me out! I came to post and ask if you all thought I'd made the wrong decision to tell her, and what the consequences of that might be, and saw this, and I was like OMG I don't even remember writing this!that happens to me a lot!
Im so happy for you that things went so well with your one daughter
>>but it's eating me up inside that our 13 year old could be so insensitive toward ppl who are hurting so badly. Sometimes I feel like I just don't really know her, and then I think I raised her, how did this happen?
Some people just are not comfortable with things like that. Maybe in time she will become more sensitive, she is also at an age where she is trying to figure herself out ...
Posted by Gee on February 23, 2006, at 2:24:17
In reply to Re: I don't remember this!! **Trigger**, posted by LegWarmers on February 18, 2006, at 17:14:14
She probably just doesn't understand it. I know for a while around here it was a cool thing to cut. A lot of the grade 8's and 9's had cuts all over their arms. Could she be seeing it like that and not understanding the pain that goes with it?
Posted by fairywings on February 24, 2006, at 18:17:07
In reply to Re: I don't remember this!! **Trigger**, posted by Gee on February 23, 2006, at 2:24:17
> She probably just doesn't understand it. I know for a while around here it was a cool thing to cut. A lot of the grade 8's and 9's had cuts all over their arms. Could she be seeing it like that and not understanding the pain that goes with it?
She must not understand. I hope she never feels that way, or has a friend who feels that way. If only she knew her own mom feels painfully depressed - but she doesn't.
fw
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