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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:37:48
Okay, I hate sex. I mean I really really hate it. I think it is invasive, degrading and just too big of a violation of my own personal self. In fact, if I never had to be sexual or have sex again for the rest of my life, that would be just fine with me.
It makes me very nervous.
It comes up every now and again in therapy and my T very gently reminds me that it is not that way at all, that making love can be a wonderful thing. I just had all the wrong stuff written on me when I was a kid.
I've decided that (shock!) he might be right and that I want to talk about this tomorrow in therapy. I will probably chicken out. It's freaking me out already. But I want to get all of this out of me.
Right now, however, it feels like the top of my head just might blow off from all of the conflict in my head.
The way I feel about sex right now is very safe and I simply cannot IMAGINE allowing another man to have sex with me ever again, but that isn't normal.
Help! What should I do? Just call and cancel the appointment right?
Posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:42:42
In reply to Really Really Really anxious about T appt tomorrow, posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:37:48
Posted by muffled on February 12, 2006, at 22:40:18
In reply to Really Really Really anxious about T appt tomorrow, posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:37:48
You married? Sorry I forever mixing things up.
Why you talking bout sex particularly.
Hell lotsa people live their whole lives w/o sex.
I don't think its a requierment of life unless you got a signifigant other that wants it and you want to do it for them.
Otherwise, who the hell cares.
Its just weird anyways.
Weird and twisted in a thousand diff. ways.
So unless you need to have sex. man, I'd just leave it alone.
It IS invasive and intimate and all that sh*t.
Its kinda cool you can talk about it though.
Sh*t I couldn't do that.
You have my admiration.
So go for it if you care, and TELL US!!!!
Mebbe I can learn a thing or two.
And be totally impressed.
Yeah, could be a good thing I reckon. Rambling. Sorry.
I'm sure you'll do fine. You speak well.
Muffled
Posted by sleepygirl on February 12, 2006, at 23:01:24
In reply to Really Really Really anxious about T appt tomorrow, posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:37:48
No canceling!
It's hard for me to talk about the subject too, you might start with saying how difficult it is for you to talk about it - that can set the stage for you - take it slowly, admit it's hard for you, and then maybe you can talk about the why.
Go gently.
Posted by madeline on February 14, 2006, at 5:12:48
In reply to Really Really Really anxious about T appt tomorrow, posted by madeline on February 12, 2006, at 19:37:48
It always amazes me how my therapist reacts to things. I guess I just expect him to run out of the room screaming or something (like I feel like doing) whenever I bring up something about sex. But he never does.
He just simply confirmed that I did not feel in any way cohersed into talking about this, and I told him I did not. And that talking about it was the only way to get through my overwhelmingly negative feelings about having sex.
I think we were both pretty uncomfortable, but we got through it. In fact, he even said he was happy to go through this with me.
I'm very proud of myself for actually talking about this with him, it only took six YEARS to build up enough trust to do it. But better late than never I guess. I do feel closer to him.
Maybe I can be normal after all.
Posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2006, at 8:13:38
In reply to Well, I did it. It was embarrasing, but okay., posted by madeline on February 14, 2006, at 5:12:48
Wow. I'm so impressed.
Good for you!
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on February 14, 2006, at 11:03:02
In reply to Re: Well, I did it. It was embarrasing, but okay. » madeline, posted by fallsfall on February 14, 2006, at 8:13:38
Good for you! Very brave.
And also good for your T for making sure that you really wanted to talk abt it and didn't feel forced. It says a lot abt him.
Best,
EE
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