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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 13:26:33
I didn't want to hijack Dinah's thread, but it really got me to thinking about being someone's Jessica. As much as I would like to be one, I don't know if I was a Jessica to my ex-T. But I did realize that I am a Jessica to someone!! And it's someone with whom I get to have a real relationship. It's been pretty emotional to think about - painful, yet comforting at the same time.
She was my teacher 20 years ago and I have always loved her. We get together occasionally for lunch and I was pleasantly surprised when she started to confide in me about her own life - it's a real relationship now, between equals. I am so grateful to have her in my life. I think she was the only authority figure I had as a child who treated me with respect and made me feel she was genuinely interested in me as a person.
She sent me this in an email a few months ago and I will save it forever: "I am always overcome with gladness when I see you and think about you as a girl. You are such a joy!!!! I can't tell you how much I needed those encouraging words. God sends special people as his angels on earth. You are definitely one of mine."
She is my angel too. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. And see if anyone else might have some stories to share. I find them very uplifting.
Posted by shrinking violet on January 30, 2006, at 13:57:13
In reply to About being someone's Jessica, posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 13:26:33
What a sweet story. Can I ask: how did you and your teacher reconnect to become friends?
I always have a dream that my former T and I will someday reconnect and be what you and your teacher are to each other. I think we have the capability....Our therapy was very much personal on a lot of levels and we were supernaturally close while working together. I hesitate to say that, yes, I definitely think I was a "Jessica" to my former T, but in some ways that also complicated the relationship and subsequently our work together. I always thought we would have done better if we had met another way, without the therapist/client "thing" getting in the way of our true relationship to one another. Maybe someday....or maybe it's just stupid to hope? I don't know....
> I didn't want to hijack Dinah's thread, but it really got me to thinking about being someone's Jessica. As much as I would like to be one, I don't know if I was a Jessica to my ex-T. But I did realize that I am a Jessica to someone!! And it's someone with whom I get to have a real relationship. It's been pretty emotional to think about - painful, yet comforting at the same time.
>
> She was my teacher 20 years ago and I have always loved her. We get together occasionally for lunch and I was pleasantly surprised when she started to confide in me about her own life - it's a real relationship now, between equals. I am so grateful to have her in my life. I think she was the only authority figure I had as a child who treated me with respect and made me feel she was genuinely interested in me as a person.
>
> She sent me this in an email a few months ago and I will save it forever: "I am always overcome with gladness when I see you and think about you as a girl. You are such a joy!!!! I can't tell you how much I needed those encouraging words. God sends special people as his angels on earth. You are definitely one of mine."
>
> She is my angel too. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. And see if anyone else might have some stories to share. I find them very uplifting.
>
Posted by Dinah on January 30, 2006, at 16:30:27
In reply to About being someone's Jessica, posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 13:26:33
That's really beautiful. :)
I think everyone needs that in their life at some point or another.
Posted by frida on January 30, 2006, at 16:42:57
In reply to About being someone's Jessica, posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 13:26:33
That's so beautiful
Í'm so glad that you and your ex-teacher have become friends and share a special relationship.
I've had something similar happen, with a teacher from university.
She was my teacher in third year and I wrote very personal essays and she responded warmly to them. Well when I finished I wrote an email to her. And she invited me for coffee the following week. After that we exchanged mails and we became friends. I helped her plan her wedding, she comes to my birthday, we keep in touch and share things. It's pretty special to me. I love her dearly.And I have one student that years after she was my student, became my special little friend. She's much younger than me, she's 19 now, and we share a very special relationship. I go to her house, we go out, she trusts me, I help her out, she shares the important things that happen in her life.
It's very comforting when this happens.
When I am with my ex-teacher, I can't believe that once I was her student. Now she feels much more like a friend. I've called her crying a lot of times, and she has comforted me a lot. We share a real and sweet relationship.
and I do have hope that maybe I'm a Jessica to my T :-)
i believe we've shared a lot together and I've given her all I have inside and I feel she values everything and has crossed boundaries for me to prove me I can trust her. I do feel she does care. :-)
Just sharing :-)Frida
> I didn't want to hijack Dinah's thread, but it really got me to thinking about being someone's Jessica. As much as I would like to be one, I don't know if I was a Jessica to my ex-T. But I did realize that I am a Jessica to someone!! And it's someone with whom I get to have a real relationship. It's been pretty emotional to think about - painful, yet comforting at the same time.
>
> She was my teacher 20 years ago and I have always loved her. We get together occasionally for lunch and I was pleasantly surprised when she started to confide in me about her own life - it's a real relationship now, between equals. I am so grateful to have her in my life. I think she was the only authority figure I had as a child who treated me with respect and made me feel she was genuinely interested in me as a person.
>
> She sent me this in an email a few months ago and I will save it forever: "I am always overcome with gladness when I see you and think about you as a girl. You are such a joy!!!! I can't tell you how much I needed those encouraging words. God sends special people as his angels on earth. You are definitely one of mine."
>
> She is my angel too. Anyway, I just wanted to share that. And see if anyone else might have some stories to share. I find them very uplifting.
>
Posted by JenStar on January 30, 2006, at 19:53:53
In reply to About being someone's Jessica, posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 13:26:33
that's awesome! :) I'll have to think if I have any of these to share. Thanks for sharing yours.
JenStar
Posted by gee on January 30, 2006, at 20:04:11
In reply to Re: About being someone's Jessica » jammerlich, posted by JenStar on January 30, 2006, at 19:53:53
You guys all have such beautiful stories. Thanks for sharing them
Posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 20:35:44
In reply to Re: About being someone's Jessica » jammerlich, posted by shrinking violet on January 30, 2006, at 13:57:13
SV, I think we just always were connected. We've never seen each other on a regular basis, it's always been sporadic, yet consistent - if that makes any sense. She was an elementary school teacher and throughout middle school, she picked me up from school a couple of times and took me out to eat a time or two. About the time I was in high school she got a divorce and she called to let me know where she was living and where she'd be teaching and I went with her in the summer to help her get her classroom ready. Later, she remarried and called me again to let me know her new last name and where she'd be living. And we had lunch together a couple of times in my later high school and early college years. After I got married, I didn't see her for 5 or 6 years, but we did write to each other a time or two. Then we moved back to my hometown. She had switched careers, we had an opportunity to make use of her services and I started seeing her again on an occasional basis. We have lunch once or twice a year and exchange emails now and then.
I'm sure this is probably WAY more than you wanted to know, but I just wanted to be sure I didn't make it sound like the relationship was something more than it is. She isn't like one of my girlfriends and I don't see her often. But the relationship is still VERY special to me. Of course I would love to see her more often, but I am very content with exactly what we have. She loves me and I can feel it with me no matter what.
Hmmm... is that maybe what a normal, secure relationship is supposed to be like? She's the only person I've ever felt that way about. I couldn't say the same for my family, husband or friends and that kind of makes me sad.
As far as your hoping to have to same with your former T... I don't think it's stupid to hope at all!! I think it's probably a very normal, human response. I personally just try not to hope for it in my situation. I try to keep my expectations very low because I find that I'm not disappointed so much that way.
I'm also not sure if a relationship with my ex-T could ever be the same as the one with my teacher. The T knows way too much about me - things I am ashamed of. I don't feel like she ever knew much of the positive, capable me. But my teacher, she knew the star student. And I'm not concerned that anything will shatter her image of me at this point. We see each other with rose colored glasses and I don't think that will ever change.
> What a sweet story. Can I ask: how did you and your teacher reconnect to become friends?
> I always have a dream that my former T and I will someday reconnect and be what you and your teacher are to each other. I think we have the capability....Our therapy was very much personal on a lot of levels and we were supernaturally close while working together. I hesitate to say that, yes, I definitely think I was a "Jessica" to my former T, but in some ways that also complicated the relationship and subsequently our work together. I always thought we would have done better if we had met another way, without the therapist/client "thing" getting in the way of our true relationship to one another. Maybe someday....or maybe it's just stupid to hope? I don't know....
Posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 20:43:39
In reply to Re: About being someone's Jessica » jammerlich, posted by frida on January 30, 2006, at 16:42:57
Frida, thanks so much for sharing those stories. They show such special relationships. Do you find yourself sharing much with your former student? She's still fairly young, I guess. Not that I'm all that old, but still. I'm in my early 30's now and my teacher is in her mid-60's. She only started sharing personal things with me in the last couple of years and it feels like such a privilege. As an aside, she had to tell me about 4 years ago to start calling her by her first name. It felt so awkward to me at first and I had to force myself to do it - because I knew she really wanted me to. But now it feels natural.
I'm glad you feel hopeful that you are a Jessica to your T. That must be a really nice place to be!
Posted by frida on January 31, 2006, at 13:45:40
In reply to Re: About being someone's Jessica » frida, posted by jammerlich on January 30, 2006, at 20:43:39
Hi jammerlich,
Thank you too for sharing...
I'm 29, when I had my student I was younger (3 years from now). Now I do find myself sharing more, even if she's young, she's very mature, and she even knows I'm in T now. It's a very special relationship. I see her during the year and we keep in touch through email a lot.She tells me for her it's a very important relationship.I'm glad your teacher started sharing personal things with you now and that you feel connected to her. Sometimes it's true that we wished we could see these special people more often..but I try to feel well with what I have too.
My teacher is around 40, I don't see her that often, 4, or 5 times a year max, but we stay in touch on the phone and email and I just feel grateful when she shares with me.
I'm glad you have your teacher in your lifeThanks for sharing
Frida
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