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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
I wasn't quite sure whether this was a Psychology topic or a Social one.
I *hate* how I post when my OCD is acting up.
I post something then I think of all the ways I might have mis-stated or messed up. I agonize about every single post, write and rewrite and end up not submitting, and then stay up nights worrying about it. And end up trying to undo what I've said so often that I get embarassed.
I know I'm being ridiculous. And I know the preferred treatment is exposure and response prevention. Not allowing myself to take something back. But the anxiety level gets too high.
Or I decide I'm not going to post at all until I feel better.
I'm just irritating the heck out of myself, and want to apologize to everyone else I might be irritating.
Any suggestions? To post and repost and regret? To not post at all?
Posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:28:03
In reply to OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
hey Dinah,
I don't have any words of wisdom, just some compassion. I just felt that frustrating feeling one can feel when stuck in their thoughts, how exhausting it can be. I think people can understand you're struggling with it.
I guess really thoughtful people get too full of thoughts sometimes.
What would make you most comfortable?
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:36:17
In reply to Re: OCD and posting » Dinah, posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:28:03
> hey Dinah,
> I don't have any words of wisdom, just some compassion. I just felt that frustrating feeling one can feel when stuck in their thoughts, how exhausting it can be. I think people can understand you're struggling with it.Thanks sleepygirl. I appreciate that.
> I guess really thoughtful people get too full of thoughts sometimes.
> What would make you most comfortable?That's a thought provoking question. :) I hadn't thought in those terms.
I guess posting and retracting is most comfortable for me. But then I get to thinking that I "should" work on trying to change that which makes me so anxious that I think I shouldn't post at all. If that makes sense.
Realistically what I'd like to do is reduce the time I spend writing and rewriting posts I don't even submit. Or ones that I do submit, I suppose. It's taking too much time that I can't really spare. It's not my usual behavior at all when my OCD isn't acting up. And it astonishes me how much time I eat up doing that.
So maybe the best thing to do is to put a babble timer on myself. Hmmm... I'll run it by my CBT oriented therapist tomorrow.
Thank you for unsticking me a bit.
Posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:39:48
In reply to Re: OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:36:17
may the "flow" be with you
;-)
good luck with CBT
Posted by daisym on January 21, 2006, at 23:57:40
In reply to Re: OCD and posting » Dinah, posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:39:48
I think we all struggle with that sometimes. I did it this week. I know how I hear myself when I write but sometimes I reread stuff and realize I wasn't clear, or more likely, too detailed. I get stuck in "he said she said."
And I've been thinking about what Racer said about answering every reply. She thinks it clutters the Board. I guess one way to cut down on your writing and rewriting time would be to reply in a thread as it unravels, not go back and reply to all posts, unless there is a specific person to address. How then do we avoid hurting someone's feelings? Is this a therapuetic opportunity to do what feels best for *you* and not worry about annoying anyone else? (not that I think you are the least annoying...)
I'm sure I haven't helped at all. I just so often want to write really thoughtful replies and end up writing and deleting and then writing again. So I can sympathize.
Posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 23:58:00
In reply to OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
Gosh, if your post to me was an OCD post I sure felt you were really hearing me, and trying to comfort me. I know you reposted what you meant, but I didn't take what you said the wrong way at all. I love the way you can take something apart and look at it - like it comes from a much more logical angle than I'm capable of.
I agonize over what I say to ppl too, and then wonder if I'm being shallow or if it's unhelpful to interject my own stuff bec. I see similarities. Or, when I read other ppl's posts I beat myself up for posting something so stupid.
From what I've read and how I feel, your posts are always appreciated. I hope that helps a little.
fw
Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2006, at 8:40:02
In reply to Re: OCD and posting, posted by daisym on January 21, 2006, at 23:57:40
I think that unless Dr. Bob asks that I not do it because it clutters the board, I think I'll stick with my posting style. It suits my process of thinking. When I start a thread, I'm usually looking for feedback. And when I answer each post individually, I'm addressing each thought that someone has offered and mulling it over as I think of an answer. It's not always feasible for various reasons, but when it is, I prefer to do it that way.
I've always said I've a DOS brain in a Windows world. :)
I don't usually agonize over writing posts. This is unusual for me. I usually either respond with my immediate impressions, or if I'm having trouble with a post, I leave and come back to it when I'm clear.
Maybe the best thing is to reduce my posting until I'm feeling better, though.
Posted by Dinah on January 22, 2006, at 8:42:11
In reply to Re: OCD and posting » Dinah, posted by fairywings on January 21, 2006, at 23:58:00
Thank you!
I'm really glad I was able to be helpful.
To tell the truth, the ones that are eating up the most time are the ones I don't end up submitting. That may be a clue as to what I should or shouldn't be doing.
Posted by annierose on January 22, 2006, at 8:52:09
In reply to OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
I don't have much to add in this thread, but I wanted to reassure you that your posts are extremely thoughtful and carefully written. Even if it's a thread I'm not participating in because I can't help or don't know the subject area ... I find I can learn from reading other posters, including you.
I hope you don't reduce your posting. I don't feel you are cluttering up the boards in ANY way.
Posted by milly on January 22, 2006, at 8:57:01
In reply to Re: OCD and posting, posted by annierose on January 22, 2006, at 8:52:09
i have been reading your posts for a while now and have always found them thoughtful and 'spot on' Some of your archived answers really helped me through a tough patch, don't change
milly
Posted by annierose on January 22, 2006, at 8:59:37
In reply to Re: OCD and posting, posted by daisym on January 21, 2006, at 23:57:40
I like to reply to people who took the time to offer me their thoughts, opinions or suggestions. I hope people don't feel my reply is clutter.
Sometimes when replying, new insights pop into my brain as well ... i.e. I'm learning while I'm thinking/typing ... what a concept.
I also like to read your "he said she said" posts involving your sessions. It's interesting how we interact with our T's, what words or phrases other T's used, etc. My new question my T asks, and I want to add it our list of bad questions, "What do you imagine that would feel like?" I just don't get it.
Posted by JenStar on January 22, 2006, at 10:09:32
In reply to OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
hi Dinah,
first of all, you're not EVER irritating (at least IMO!) Regardless of your mental state, I usually find your posts to be interesting, honest, thoughtful and complex.I think you should post what you feel like posting. If you feel like ammending it later on, go ahead and do that too.
You're a big part of babble and I think you're well respected here, and I think everyone will be supportive and understanding of you if you feel that your posts aren't "perfect" right now.
And you're not being ridiculous. Sometimes things like OCD come, and sometimes they go, and sometimes it's hard to determine the factors to help make it go away faster. Just remember that you're liked here, and even if your posts are not totally internally satisfying to YOU, to US they are still important and we're glad to see them here. At least, that's how *I* feel, and I assume many others do, too. :)
JenStar
Posted by Tabitha on January 22, 2006, at 10:46:59
In reply to OCD and posting, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 23:14:29
Dinah if it's any comfort I think the end result of your posting process is just fine. Sometimes I pick up just a little anxiety, but it's probably not showing nearly as much as you think. I can understand being frustrated with the process though, if it takes a lot of time and provokes anxiety for you.
I never had much luck with internet time limits for myself. When I'm over-doing it, the best thing is to just force myself to take care of some real-world tasks. That seems to break the obsession up for me. So I guess that's distraction & substitution.
Posted by fairywings on January 22, 2006, at 22:39:01
In reply to Re: OCD and posting » fairywings, posted by Dinah on January 22, 2006, at 8:42:11
> To tell the truth, the ones that are eating up the most time are the ones I don't end up submitting. That may be a clue as to what I should or shouldn't be doing.***Oh my gosh, I HATE that! I do it too! And I thought for sure, I was the only one!
fw
Posted by Dinah on January 23, 2006, at 9:07:28
In reply to Re: OCD and posting » Dinah, posted by fairywings on January 22, 2006, at 22:39:01
I went from anxiety to depression last night. I think they're some sort of tag team. I spent most of the rest of the day staring and sleeping. I even forgot to eat. Hmmm... Maybe I should stick with the depression. I eat everything that doesn't move when I'm anxious.
My therapist said this was the first time I told him that I was having trouble with my OCD. I'm positive it wasn't. It's just the first time I cried all through the session about it. I was frustrated because it just doesn't seem to help as much as it used to. And because he kept saying I need to call to talk to my psychiatrist about meds when I kept trying to tell him what side effects SSRI's have, and how I'd rather work with it with CBT like I have in the past. At the very end of the session, he finally seemed to understand and give me a few CBT words. I know he's a bigger believer in medication than I am, but it still felt dismissive. Which was probably more me than him.
Posted by fallsfall on January 23, 2006, at 11:42:51
In reply to Thank you. I appreciate you guys a lot., posted by Dinah on January 23, 2006, at 9:07:28
I'm sorry it is so hard for you.
Maybe you can both have your meds adjusted AND do some CBT kinds of things. Using both solutions often works better than one or the other alone. I'm glad you got him to give you some CBT help before the session ended.
Post here if it helps you, but if it just makes you more anxious, then you don't need to post.
Please be careful about eating. Eating nothing isn't good for you, either.
Love,
Falls
Posted by fairywings on January 23, 2006, at 15:36:31
In reply to Thank you. I appreciate you guys a lot., posted by Dinah on January 23, 2006, at 9:07:28
Does having such different jobs at work and having the dogs having accidents in the house make it worse? Sucks big time that you have all 3 - depression, anxiety, and OCD at once.fw
This is the end of the thread.
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