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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
Hi. I've been around on the boards for a few years, mostly lurking, sometimes posting.
I need some help. I was fired from my job for political (basically made up) reasons about 6 weeks ago. i was depressed, of course. then it turned into a major depressive episode. i went into therapy 4 years ago for depression and still am in depression. it had been in remission until now. now i lay in bed all day and my body just hurts everywhere. i can hardly make it to therapy (sometimes i make it, sometimes i don't). i can't clean the house. i can't look for a job. i get more and more depressed every day. i did apply for a few jobs and am waiting for call backs. i am afraid to take myself to the hospital because what if i get a call back while i am in there and miss out on the opportunity (there are not many job opportunities with my degree). i interviewed for a position last week and should hear back this week or next.
i am taking my medication as prescribed, but i just started back on it last monday when i realized the depression was coming back.
any suggestions on how to cope in the meantime, without hospitalization?
anyway to deal with the suicidal ideations? i won't act on them, i'm just tired of feeling this way. i feel like i just can't move. i hurt so bad.
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 21:33:56
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
Hi. Of course I remember you.
I'm sorry you're doing poorly. I wish I had answers but I don't.
Remember that your health is more important than any job. If you ever get to the point where you need the hospital, just remember that.
Posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:41:09
In reply to Re: hospitalization for major depression » underthecs, posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 21:33:56
Thanks Dinah. I continue to follow your posts. You have been and are still going through a lot. Take care of yourself.
Posted by Dinah on December 20, 2005, at 21:56:00
In reply to Re: hospitalization for major depression » Dinah, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:41:09
That's so kind of you. Thank you.
Posted by sleepygirl on December 20, 2005, at 22:35:55
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
I don't know...I can see the urgency in trying to get a new position, but as already said your well being does have to be primary, right?
You're in a tough spot..there's no doubt about that. I'd talk to my T, talk to my pdoc, talk to whoever can be supportive to you right now. Sometimes the very basic, essential things don't seem good enough in the moment, but they're the best a hurting human can do.
Be gentle with yourself, get some sunlight, eat well, talk to someone, one step at a time..
I'm sorry you're hurting.
-all the best soon,
sleepygirl
Posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2005, at 22:44:45
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
This will sound lame, but it really helps me when my whole body hurts... Try to take a short walk every day (around the block is enough to start), and find a yoga tape that you like (I use "Yoga for You: Unworkout 2" - it has two 20 minute stretching routines. It is easier for me to do 20 minutes than it is to try to do one of the hour long ones). The yoga really does help the body aches. And when my body doesn't hurt so much all the time, I have a lot more motivation to do other things.
Do something each day that you Want to do (even if what you do is stare at the wall for half an hour without feeling guilty about it). Eat ice cream. Try not to isolate.
I'm sorry about your job. How often do you see your therapist? Going back on meds sounds like a good idea.
Suicidal ideation is no fun. Please be sure to ask for help if you become unsure that you won't act on it. In the meantime, it might help you to think of it as a communication mechanism - you are trying to tell yourself (and others?) just how badly you feel. If you can consciously accept that you feel really badly, then the ideation might let up a little. At least that is how it works for me.
And post often. Of course we remember you!
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on December 20, 2005, at 23:36:13
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
It sounds like you are going through a lot and I'm glad that you posted. I hope that babblers have something helpful to share w/ you.
One thing that occurs to me is that you should make sure that your T knows all of the concerns that you mentioned in your post. I know that I sometime feel hesistant to describe how bad things really are and so my T and my pdoc assume that they are better than they really are. If it is hard for you to say, then you could even just print it out.
I also experience a lot of suicidal ideation as part of my depression. I become very afraid to share it w/ my T and pdoc. I think I am just embarassed. However, I also must say that the times that I have summoned up the courage to tell them what is going on have been very powerful and very healing. Actually, in order to talk abt it w/ my T I need to close my eyes and sometimes cover my face with my hands. It has been a relief that my T understands it as a sign of my pain rather than saying "Ahhh! You are CRAZY!!"
Also, recently, something big and stressful in my life was coming up. My pdoc was running through the depression questions and asked abt suicide. I told her that I wasn't currently thinking abt it, but it would help me if she could ask me again in 2 weeks b/c I was worried abt how I might be doing then and i knew it would be hard to bring it up. She was very understanding and agreed. That helped me feel really safe.
I also was able to share about the suicidal ideation with a friend and she was so supportive about it. She said that if I ever felt that way, I should call her or come over b/c I shouldn't have to feel that way alone. I was so touched. I just didn't expect that response. It helps me to remind myself that there are people who do care about me very much (even if I feel all alone) and that these people would want to help me in any way possible to prevent me from harming myself.
I don't know if that helps at all. Suicidal ideation has been a difficult part of my major depression as well. I just want you to know that there are others out there struggling with similar issues.
Best,
EE
Posted by ClearSkies on December 21, 2005, at 7:42:33
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
This is a post from a while back that I remembered to bookmark. It's a real keeper and has many suggestions for getting through a major depressive episode:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/355808.html
It is nice to see you back, though I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I was rainyday, then partlycloudy, and now I'm clearskies....
Posted by Poet on December 21, 2005, at 10:59:28
In reply to hospitalization for major depression, posted by underthecs on December 20, 2005, at 21:10:51
Hi Underthecs,
I've been where you are. It was in Spring 2004 when I quit my job under duress. My meds either stopped working or my depression was stronger than they were.
I had a plan and a date and I told my T about it.
My T wanted me to go inpatient. I refused. She called my husband and told him to call 911 on me if he had to. She threatened to call 911 on me herself if I didn't go inpatient.I agreed to see a pdoc for new meds, my T called me between sessions to *check in* and I got much needed support here. I also signed a no harm agreement that I wouldn't *hurt* myself between sessions.
Meds take time to work, it's hard to remember that when you're feeling so low. It's hard to drag yourself out of bed to go to therapy, too. Can you talk to your T on the phone? While I was angry at my T for the 911 threats, her calling me did help me talk about suicide and depression. I got much needed support here, too.
Call your T, tell him/her how you are feeling and why you can't come in for sessions. Post here. It will help you to talk about how you are feeling in anyway you can. Tell yourself that you will get through this without the hospital, that you won't hurt yourself and can keep yourself safe through the crisis.
I'm sorry this reply is so long, I know how hard it is to concentrate when you're depressed. You can get through this, your strength is shown in that your are looking for a job even though you don't feel like doing much of anything. Draw on that strength.
Safe cyber hugs.
Poet
Posted by sleepygirl on December 21, 2005, at 11:44:20
In reply to Re: hospitalization for major depression » underthecs, posted by ClearSkies on December 21, 2005, at 7:42:33
thanks for that bookmarked post, good stuff :-)
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