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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
do any of you ever feel that your problems aren't bad enough for your T. that their expecting these really horrible stories and you have nothing to give them? i kinda feel that after monday. i think...i think he thinks that something happened to me by someone and it's not quite what he thinks...
the one thing i promised myself is that no matter what i wouldn't lie to him. and i don't want to falsify stuff.
but after he said something yesterday about this person, now i'm really wondering if something did happen?
confused
b2c.
Posted by Anneke on December 14, 2005, at 11:02:39
In reply to not bad enough for T??, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
B2---
I am constantly thinking that what I experienced isn't "bad enough" to warrant therapy and that my therapist must be thinking "what a wimp...if she only knew what I hear about the rest of the day". But of course that's the way I was raised to interpret those experiences....
From what I read in the post below, however, the things you experienced are more than "enough" to be in therapy by anyone's standards. And, I try to remind myself that if I'm reading your story and saying, "God, that was awful...I feel so badly for B2....how can she doubt herself as to how bad that was?"...then probably if you read mine, you would probably say the same thing. It's so much easier to validate someone else's pain, isn't it?
And, for me at least, questioning the validity of my experiences is simply another way of minimizing them and taking me back to the familiar "it's not so bad" space. And, for what it's worth, those are the times that my little girl and teenager get particularly ticked off....and rightfully so. It's as if they're saying, "hey, we were denied our voice about this once....you're not getting away with that now!"
Don't know if any of this will resonate with you...just my 2 cents worth....Anneke
Posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 12:06:53
In reply to Re: not bad enough for T?? » B2chica, posted by Anneke on December 14, 2005, at 11:02:39
Posted by cubic_me on December 14, 2005, at 12:11:50
In reply to not bad enough for T??, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
I definately relate there b2c, I always felt that my past wasn't traumatic enough to warrent therapy. I also thought that my depression wasn't enough to be having much contact with mental health services, but since seeing them from the inside I realise that there are people who are getting a lot of support for moderate illnesses, and proffessionals are happy to give that support. If they thought you didn't need it or weren't benifiting from it they have an obligation to tell you, and on the other hand if you feel that you are getting something from it (even though they may think they are just doing it for the money) then that's fine too, as you are benifiting.
Things affect everyone in different ways. It doesn't have to be a few really bad things to make you unwell, it can be lots of teeny tiny things too, or it can just be that you have a genetic predisposition to not react well to small stressors - that doesn't mean you don't need help, it doesn't mean that you are weak or bad either.
Posted by fairywings on December 14, 2005, at 19:13:59
In reply to not bad enough for T??, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
i agree b2, you are so worthy, your pain has been horrible. you are a wonderful, caring, supportive person, and my hope for you is that you emerge from all of this a renewed person, as painfree as possible. your t is so wonderful, i know he can help you.
fw
Posted by Racer on December 17, 2005, at 22:35:29
In reply to not bad enough for T??, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
> do any of you ever feel that your problems aren't bad enough for your T. that their expecting these really horrible stories and you have nothing to give them?
No, since my problem lately is that every time I tell Auntie about something that happened to me, she tells me how horrible and harmful it was! It's shaking the foundations of my Self just now, realizing that somehow I've turned so much around into my fault and added it all to my store of Shame, when it really wasn't me at all.
As for what I'm reading as your question -- wondering if something really did happen and you're putting it out of your mind, my guess is no. If you ask everyone here on this board about it, I would bet that you would find darn few 'recovered memories.' In my experience, most of us KNOW what happened, but somehow interpret it as something we caused -- it's more shame about being "bad" that keeps us from telling about it, rather than not remembering it.
In my own case, for example, I was molested as a child, by my mother's live-in boyfriend. He tortured me for a long time, and it was yet more of thate "Racer's just too thin skinned -- you shouldn't get upset, Racer. Deal with it." So I knew what had happened, but was ashamed that it had hurt me, that I was still bothered by it. But I never forgot what happened, nor that it had happened.
Does that make sense?
Besides, as a very wise GardenerGirl has taught me, it doesn't matter if someone else thinks that something is bad enough to hurt you -- it only matters if you were hurt. That is the ONLY criteria pain can be judged on.
HOpe that helps.
This is the end of the thread.
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