Posted by Racer on December 17, 2005, at 22:35:29
In reply to not bad enough for T??, posted by B2chica on December 14, 2005, at 9:14:07
> do any of you ever feel that your problems aren't bad enough for your T. that their expecting these really horrible stories and you have nothing to give them?
No, since my problem lately is that every time I tell Auntie about something that happened to me, she tells me how horrible and harmful it was! It's shaking the foundations of my Self just now, realizing that somehow I've turned so much around into my fault and added it all to my store of Shame, when it really wasn't me at all.
As for what I'm reading as your question -- wondering if something really did happen and you're putting it out of your mind, my guess is no. If you ask everyone here on this board about it, I would bet that you would find darn few 'recovered memories.' In my experience, most of us KNOW what happened, but somehow interpret it as something we caused -- it's more shame about being "bad" that keeps us from telling about it, rather than not remembering it.
In my own case, for example, I was molested as a child, by my mother's live-in boyfriend. He tortured me for a long time, and it was yet more of thate "Racer's just too thin skinned -- you shouldn't get upset, Racer. Deal with it." So I knew what had happened, but was ashamed that it had hurt me, that I was still bothered by it. But I never forgot what happened, nor that it had happened.
Does that make sense?
Besides, as a very wise GardenerGirl has taught me, it doesn't matter if someone else thinks that something is bad enough to hurt you -- it only matters if you were hurt. That is the ONLY criteria pain can be judged on.
HOpe that helps.
poster:Racer
thread:588952
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051216/msgs/589913.html