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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on November 29, 2005, at 22:39:34
Hi Tamar,
How is it going? I haven't seen you around for sometime.
Did you decide on if you wanted to call your old T? Or get a new one? Or are you doing allright?
Orchid.
Posted by muffled on November 29, 2005, at 23:32:01
In reply to How is it going Tamar?, posted by orchid on November 29, 2005, at 22:39:34
Posted by Tamar on November 30, 2005, at 18:55:51
In reply to How is it going Tamar?, posted by orchid on November 29, 2005, at 22:39:34
I'm feeling pretty awful. I just can't find the words for anything. I've posted a bit tonight but don't know what it will be like tomorrow.
I've been on Prozac for a week now. The general consensus was that I’m not well enough for therapy at the moment. Nevertheless, I started marriage counselling with my husband a few days ago. So far so good…
Thinking of you… And hoping I’ll be back to my normal self soon.
Love,
Tamar
Posted by Dinah on December 1, 2005, at 1:36:23
In reply to Thanks for asking Orchid and Muffled, posted by Tamar on November 30, 2005, at 18:55:51
I'm happy for you for the marriage counseling!
Medications generally don't start helping for a while, so don't lose hope. There's always hope.
Posted by orchid on December 1, 2005, at 3:38:23
In reply to Thanks for asking Orchid and Muffled, posted by Tamar on November 30, 2005, at 18:55:51
Hey Tamar (maybe I should call you T :-) )
You are not sharing anythng about yourself. You just give advice and don't share too much of what really is going on with you. You are not a T here :-) I hope you remember that and get yourself to write more !!! :-)
Give us a chance to pay back some of the long due debts !!!
Anyway, I will send you a babble mail. I have something interesting to share, but can't write it here publicly.
> I'm feeling pretty awful. I just can't find the words for anything. I've posted a bit tonight but don't know what it will be like tomorrow.
>
> I've been on Prozac for a week now. The general consensus was that I’m not well enough for therapy at the moment. Nevertheless, I started marriage counselling with my husband a few days ago. So far so good…
>
> Thinking of you… And hoping I’ll be back to my normal self soon.
>
> Love,
> Tamar
>
>
Posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 6:44:02
In reply to Don't be a T :-) Share more !!! » Tamar, posted by orchid on December 1, 2005, at 3:38:23
> Hey Tamar (maybe I should call you T :-) )
>
> You are not sharing anythng about yourself. You just give advice and don't share too much of what really is going on with you. You are not a T here :-) I hope you remember that and get yourself to write more !!! :-)Ha ha! I wasn’t trying to be a T! I guess I find it hard to imagine that the details of my life could be interesting to anyone else! But OK, here is some of what’s going on:
I’m supposed to be working very hard at the moment. I’m working on a project that I find interesting and the deadline is the beginning of February. I’ve had plenty of time to do it, but my depression has interfered with my ability to work, and it can’t possibly be finished in time. Instead of doing what I can with it, I feel completely incompetent and I’m avoiding it. And that doesn’t help because I feel guilty about doing so little. I’m afraid to talk to my colleagues about it. I know that depression is widely misunderstood and I’m afraid my colleagues will think I’m making excuses and that really I’m lazy and generally a waste of space. And I have no confidence in my ability to do the work well… I’m afraid people will think it’s not very good.
So there you have it. Not very exciting. But that’s what’s weighing on my mind…
> Anyway, I will send you a babble mail. I have something interesting to share, but can't write it here publicly.
I will go check my email!
Thanks Orchid.Tamar
Posted by orchid on December 1, 2005, at 7:26:59
In reply to Re: Don't be a T :-) Share more !!! » orchid, posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 6:44:02
Hey,
That is good. Atleast you have started writing about you. And why would you think it is not interesting to anyone? :-) Why do you think I check babble atleast 5 - 10 times a day - it is only to read other people's stories. !!! And I feel down when there are not enough stories to read :-). So please do write more.
Regarding the work issue, I agree depression can be a huge demotivator in getting anything done. When I was depressed I was really very lousy in my job - and fooled around as much I could afford to. But there is something which I do when I don't like the work that I am doing which usually helps me. I play music and work. It reduces the concentration a little bit, but since I don't focus too much on the work or spend time worrying about it and get engrossed in the music, I can usually get the work done without an issue.
Maybe take a cd player or IPOD if you have one and play real nice melodious music which won't distract you too much, but at the same time which will be nice to hear, and focus on the music and do the work.
Also, another technique which I did was to work in chunks of time. I will only work 10 - 15 mins at a time, and then take a quick break and check internet or come to babble etc. Taht also gave me an incentive to work for short spans of time. If I try to work for more than 10 - 15 mins, I usually start ruminating and worrying and my productivity goes down.
Another thing which you can do, is to find the slots of time when you are usually at your best in productivity and try to work for couple of hours during that time. I usually found I had the greatest trouble in concentrating in the mornings - till about 2 in the evening. From 2 - 6 my productivity is about 50 - 70 %. After 6 - 8 it goes up to 100 %, and after 8 it goes up even higher. So whenever I had to work, I will fool around all day, and then stay couple of hours late, and will get all the work done in those couple of hours.
I hope you can try some different techniques and get through this one.
I haven't written the mail so far, but will write now.
I changed the title so some one else might read and get some ideas.
Orchid.
Posted by orchid on December 1, 2005, at 7:46:39
In reply to Re: Don't be a T :-) Share more !!! » orchid, posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 6:44:02
Posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 16:17:58
In reply to Tips on working ! » Tamar, posted by orchid on December 1, 2005, at 7:26:59
Hi Orchid,
Thanks for the tips. I will try and see if music helps. I think you're right... I think it could be a distraction from the thoughts that would distract me from my work, if that makes sense.
And I'll see if I can work in 10-15 minute chunks. I've never tried that; I tend to need to concentrate for long periods (at least two hours) or I forget what I'm trying to do. But I can't concentrate for two-hour periods when I'm depressed. I wonder if I can plan my work better so that I can do it in smaller sections...
Something that sometimes works is lighting a candle (if I'm working at home). I let the flame 'take' the distracting thoughts. But it doesn't work if I'm really down.
Thanks, Orchid. Oh, and I've replied to your babblemail by the way!
Tamar
Posted by orchid on December 2, 2005, at 0:16:41
In reply to Re: Tips on working ! » orchid, posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 16:17:58
> Hi Orchid,
>
> Thanks for the tips. I will try and see if music helps. I think you're right... I think it could be a distraction from the thoughts that would distract me from my work, if that makes
sense.---Orchid.
Yes Tamar - that is exactly right. It is used to try to distract yourself from the distracting thoughts. It is something which I figured out for myself, and it seems to work for me, so maybe it will work for you too. Remember though that the music has to be loud enough to cause some amount of distraction.
>
> And I'll see if I can work in 10-15 minute chunks. I've never tried that; I tend to need to concentrate for long periods (at least two hours) or I forget what I'm trying to do. But I can't concentrate for two-hour periods when I'm depressed. I wonder if I can plan my work better so that I can do it in smaller sections...
>---Orchid
If you need to concentrate in your work for atleast two hours, then this strategy may not work for you because for planning it might take even more energy. In that case, maybe you can do all the mechanical part of the work which doesn't need concentration in smaller chunks of time, and use the longer periods for core work which needs real concentration.
> Something that sometimes works is lighting a candle (if I'm working at home). I let the flame 'take' the distracting thoughts. But it doesn't work if I'm really down.-- Orchid
I think lighting a candle also work pretty much on the same idea as playing a music, but the distraction that it provides from the disturbing thoughts may not be enough.
>
> Thanks, Orchid. Oh, and I've replied to your babblemail by the way!--Orchid
Thanks for your detailed reply Tamar. I have replied to you as well.
>
> Tamar
>
>
Posted by Dinah on December 2, 2005, at 11:18:50
In reply to Re: Tips on working ! » orchid, posted by Tamar on December 1, 2005, at 16:17:58
I don't know if you're anything like me. But I have real trouble with the ten to fifteen minute thing. I know it works for a lot of people to break something down, do small bits at a time, and reward themselves after each bit.
But I do my best work when I'm in that "flow" zone, or whatever it is. It's a very hard place to get when I am depressed. I managed to do it last week under the threat of a deadline, but am now so exhausted I can barely think.
I wish I had tips for you, but none of the tips have worked well for me. I guess what's worked best is to eliminate all distractions, and to meditate a bit on the work before starting it. Plan what needs to be done immediately next, and picture myself doing it a few times. Sometimes I also visualize the end goal. Turning in that work in time to save my kiester. Maybe play some lively music like they do at fast food restaurants to get patrons to eat faster. :) Make sure I have plenty of Diet Coke and sugar snacks nearby. I know, bad idea. I'm diabetic too. I'm ever one for short term fixes. Maybe you could be more disciplined than I and substitute high protein snacks.
I guess I should get focussed on all those small projects I need to complete before the next big project starts. :(
Oooh. One other thing. I find it a million times easier to get started in the flow by doing something I do many many times. If I try to do something unfamiliar when I'm depressed or anxious, my mind flitters like a butterfly. But if I start with something familiar and well mastered, I can slip into the proper mode and the momentum will carry me into less familiar territory.
Posted by Tamar on December 4, 2005, at 16:23:33
In reply to Re: Tips on working ! » Tamar, posted by Dinah on December 2, 2005, at 11:18:50
> I don't know if you're anything like me. But I have real trouble with the ten to fifteen minute thing. I know it works for a lot of people to break something down, do small bits at a time, and reward themselves after each bit.
>
> But I do my best work when I'm in that "flow" zone, or whatever it is. It's a very hard place to get when I am depressed. I managed to do it last week under the threat of a deadline, but am now so exhausted I can barely think.Yeah, I do tend to find that once I’m in the flow it goes OK. But I know what you mean about the exhaustion. I had a mini-deadline on Friday and I’m now a wreck… and I have another, more major deadline on Friday this week… I need to find some energy from somewhere to get me through another week of this.
When I wasn’t depressed I could keep going for weeks on very little sleep and many hours of intense concentration. I hate being unable to do that.
> I wish I had tips for you, but none of the tips have worked well for me. I guess what's worked best is to eliminate all distractions, and to meditate a bit on the work before starting it. Plan what needs to be done immediately next, and picture myself doing it a few times. Sometimes I also visualize the end goal. Turning in that work in time to save my kiester. Maybe play some lively music like they do at fast food restaurants to get patrons to eat faster. :) Make sure I have plenty of Diet Coke and sugar snacks nearby. I know, bad idea. I'm diabetic too. I'm ever one for short term fixes. Maybe you could be more disciplined than I and substitute high protein snacks.
Self-discipline is not my strong point. When tempted, I yield. So I’ve been eating crackers and popcorn and cheese and salami. So both high carbs and high fat. Could I be any more unhealthy if I tried?
I find I have an urge to eat and drink compulsively when I’m working really hard. I don’t know if it’s anxiety or something. I used to smoke compulsively too, but I recently quit so I’m substituting yet more food. It’s not good.
> I guess I should get focussed on all those small projects I need to complete before the next big project starts. :(
Argh! Small projects are sometimes even harder than big ones.
> Oooh. One other thing. I find it a million times easier to get started in the flow by doing something I do many many times. If I try to do something unfamiliar when I'm depressed or anxious, my mind flitters like a butterfly. But if I start with something familiar and well mastered, I can slip into the proper mode and the momentum will carry me into less familiar territory.
That’s a good idea. I think I’ll try to find something familiar to begin with…
Thanks Dinah.
Tamar
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