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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 12:21:30
I can be very, very cruel. If I were my T I would drop me. I dissected and tried to destroy her personality. She sat there and took the abuse...Heavy duty abuse. That was Monday. By Wed. I realized what I had done..I was at work (with the baby)and started crying inconsolably. I called my T. to tell her that I tried to cut her in pieces mentally. At first she did not call back so I got the covering who told me that I could not reach my T. She tried to console me, but I had to speak to T. I used her cellphone # just as she was calling me back. She was wonderful last night. Today she called me back to ask if I called her cell phone and of course I had to say yes. Last night she was comforting and said that she would not dump me...Now the cell phone thing. She was not happy about that. One of my good friends told me to call her back after I deleted her number. So I deleted her number and left her a message saying that I had done so. She did mention earlier that I diced her. I did this for 45 min. straight.. the chopping, dissecting, and crushing her. I want to write her a letter explaining what triggered the whole thing. There was more than one trigger. I am having such a terible time rigt now. I hope she understands. If she dumps me I know I have to accept it. I hope she keeps me even though we drive each other crazy. terrics
Posted by Dinah on November 3, 2005, at 15:04:10
In reply to shredding my T, posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 12:21:30
You aren't allowed to use her cellphone number? Did she give it to you?
I imagine they're used to getting that sort of reaction from time to time, and understand as much as we do why it happens. It seeems like a worthwhile thing to discuss.
I'm sorry you're feeling badly.
Posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 18:23:38
In reply to Re: shredding my T, posted by Dinah on November 3, 2005, at 15:04:10
Hi Dinah,
My T. did not give me her cell phone number. I go to an out pt. unit,therefore their is someone covering when she is not available. The way I got the number was one time when she called me back. I saved it. i know this is unclear but i am very tired. thanks for sharing your good sense though. terrics
Posted by Racer on November 3, 2005, at 18:56:17
In reply to Re: shredding my T » Dinah, posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 18:23:38
> The way I got the number was one time when she called me back. I saved it. i know this is unclear but i am very tired. thanks for sharing your good sense though. terrics
(Actually, that was very clear, at least for anyone with a cell phone or caller ID.)
Although I am not sure that your T would see it quite this way, as far as I'm concerned it's her responsibility to block the number she's calling from if it's an issue for her. She can selectively block the calls she makes, or she can have all her outgoing calls blocked.
Bottom line, though, is that it's HER responbility to do that, and if she doesn't, then she's taking the risk of people using the number.
I'm glad that you've deleted that number, because I think it's safer for you not to have the temptation, but give yourself a little more slack on what happened.
Posted by Dinah on November 3, 2005, at 19:01:47
In reply to Re: shredding my T » Dinah, posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 18:23:38
I agree with Racer. Not only my doctors but even my veterinarian routinely block their numbers from caller ID. A therapist should know to do that if it's important to them. My therapist *only* calls me from his cell phone or work phone, and wouldn't dream of calling from his home phone, because he doesn't want me to have that number. But he does what he needs to do for me not to get it.
Posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 19:35:24
In reply to shredding my T, posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 12:21:30
Thank you soooo much. It relieves me that it is her responsibiliy to block numbers. She probably knows that too. I did think of it. Why should she wave such a temptation in front of a slew of Borderlines? Funny but I REALLY wonder if she has a motive. I can't be the only patient who has done this. Do you think ther could really be something BIG wrong with her or is this a test? or is she just plain stupid? terrics
Posted by Racer on November 4, 2005, at 20:21:10
In reply to Re: shredding my T/Racer+Dinah, posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 19:35:24
> Do you think ther could really be something BIG wrong with her or is this a test? or is she just plain stupid? terrics
All of the above?
Personally, it did sound to me as though she has a problem. Going after you does not sound very professional to me -- it sounds downright defensive. "I may have done something foolish -- but it's *your* fault!"
>>Thank you soooo much.
Goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: You're very welcome.
>>It relieves me that it is her responsibiliy to block numbers. She probably knows that too. I did think of it.
Good. I kinda sorta figured you would have, and I hope you'll look at this as a perception check: two people here validated your thoughts on the subject. While we could all just be so screwy we can't be taken seriously, there's also a pretty good chance that we're not, so maybe you're feeling guilty and accused over something that really isn't your 'fault.'
>> Why should she wave such a temptation in front of a slew of Borderlines? Funny but I REALLY wonder if she has a motive. I can't be the only patient who has done this.
I'm sure you're not the only patient to do this. Heck, I'd have done the same, I suspect, in your situation. Don't focus on her motivation, though. You don't know what it would have been, and you can't 'know' it because you don't have enough information. Focus instead on your part of this, on how you feel, what might have reduced your distress in the moment, how you can respond to her getting after you about using the number.
Good luck.
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