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shredding my T

Posted by terrics on November 3, 2005, at 12:21:30

I can be very, very cruel. If I were my T I would drop me. I dissected and tried to destroy her personality. She sat there and took the abuse...Heavy duty abuse. That was Monday. By Wed. I realized what I had done..I was at work (with the baby)and started crying inconsolably. I called my T. to tell her that I tried to cut her in pieces mentally. At first she did not call back so I got the covering who told me that I could not reach my T. She tried to console me, but I had to speak to T. I used her cellphone # just as she was calling me back. She was wonderful last night. Today she called me back to ask if I called her cell phone and of course I had to say yes. Last night she was comforting and said that she would not dump me...Now the cell phone thing. She was not happy about that. One of my good friends told me to call her back after I deleted her number. So I deleted her number and left her a message saying that I had done so. She did mention earlier that I diced her. I did this for 45 min. straight.. the chopping, dissecting, and crushing her. I want to write her a letter explaining what triggered the whole thing. There was more than one trigger. I am having such a terible time rigt now. I hope she understands. If she dumps me I know I have to accept it. I hope she keeps me even though we drive each other crazy. terrics


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poster:terrics thread:574965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051025/msgs/574965.html