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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 6:24:26
My T on my last session told me about beta blockers for performance anxiety. He told me if I was too nervous to perform in front of people, they would help, because he uses them too. Well I am okay mostly in front of an audience.
Well after reading a little about them, I found that they are used mostly for social disorders.Well a couple of sessions ago, I asked him if me not liking to dance or drink a lot at a party or wedding makes me a social retard. He did say no, because it sounds like I have fun without doing those things.
Okay, well my T's style with me seems to be he likes to "earn brownie points", then he will reveal somethingnegative or difficult about me what he thinks. I think you all remember the last one, the one where he said I was very critical of him. LOL
So I am wondering if he thinks I have a social disorder? I am beginning to wonder if I do. I don't like to dance, or sing out loud, and I am a little nervous around people because I don't want to make a total fool of myself. In social situations I am a little scared to talk because I feel like I sound stupid because I don't know what to say. Sometimes it is hard for me to relax around people. What do you think, does this sound like social anxiety to you? I know I need to talk to him about this, and I plan to, but I just want to run it by you, "the experts" lol Thanks!
Posted by allisonross on November 2, 2005, at 7:55:01
In reply to social disorders? anyone know about?, posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 6:24:26
> Hey HappyFlower (still waiting for your e-mail to me, sweetie: wacalice@aol.com)
My T on my last session told me about beta blockers for performance anxiety. He told me if I was too nervous to perform in front of people, they would help, because he uses them too. Well I am okay mostly in front of an audience.
Are you a performer? ( I have no problem in front of an audience; I am a dancer); as my t says: I am so "out there", LOL
> Well after reading a little about them, I found that they are used mostly for social disorders.
I consider myself an "expert" in disorders; lived with one for 31 years!! LOL; just ask me about verbal abuse (any kind of abuse), narcissism, and there is something called "Personality Disorder"---there are about 85 characteristics, and my ex---had all but about 3 (I have the www. for that--pretty amazing!)
>
> Well a couple of sessions ago, I asked him if me not liking to dance or drink a lot at a party or wedding makes me a social retard. He did say no, because it sounds like I have fun without doing those things.Why would you think that? We are ALL different, and have our own stuff, and personalities. For instance, I LOVE to dance, party and be social. My sister is more reserved, and doesnt care if she EVER dances. Just makes her different/herself.
>
> Okay, well my T's style with me seems to be he likes to "earn brownie points", then he will reveal somethingnegative or difficult about me what he thinks. I think you all remember the last one, the one where he said I was very critical of him.Can you repeat it (being new; I mised it) "brownie points" Hmmm, this is a game? T*t for tat?
LOL
> So I am wondering if he thinks I have a social disorder? I am beginning to wonder if I do. I don't like to dance, or sing out loud, and I am a little nervous around people because I don't want to make a total fool of myself.That doesn't make yo a social misfit; I am sure there are TONS of people who feel like that. Perhaps you care too much about what others think of you. Here's my therapeutic suggestion (LOL); just be yourself; to thine own self be true, etc., etc.
In social situations I am a little scared to talk because I feel like I sound stupid because I don't know what to say.
There's tons of information on this stuff. People love to talk about themselves (I should know; I am one of them, LOL), so ask someone a question: where do you work; I love your outfit/hair/tie/jewelry, etc., anything abut THEM, that gets them talking. Takes some practice, but before you know it, you will be having a conversation!
Sometimes it is hard for me to relax around people. What do you think, does this sound like social anxiety to you?
I don't know, cause I never had any, LOL!
I know I need to talk to him about this, and I plan to, but I just want to run it by you, "the experts" lol Thanks!
Hey, I am the person who stood up in front of a whole congregation and said: "Wow, I didn't know this many people would show up to help me celebrate my birthday"
Just as they were about to "hang" me, and then my name was put up on a big screen, followed by the words: "CONDUCT UNBECOMING A CHILD OF GOD" Sometimes i scare myself (my girlfriend tells me I have steel b**ls, seems silly not to type out the word, eh?!
www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com was the result of the debacle.
I was published with the Ph.D's (have to preface it by telling people, NO, it wasn't a study about ME, LOL) www.psychiatricjournal.com entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse
So, enough about ME, what do YOU think about ME, LOL?!
I don't know if you should be labeled; perhaps you are just insecure, etc.
Okay, time to e-mail me at wacalice@aol.com, where I can tell you what I REALLY (LOL) think!
Grins, Ally (sassy) Born standin' up and talkin back!
Posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 9:20:10
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » Happyflower, posted by allisonross on November 2, 2005, at 7:55:01
>
>
>
> Are you a performer? ( I have no problem in front of an audience; I am a dancer); as my t says: I am so "out there", LOLYeah, I am trumpet player and I started playing again after 15 years of not playing. I have a concert next week on Wed. and the following Sunday. I am a little nervous, because it has been a long time. But normally being a little nervous, gave me an extra edge. :)
> I consider myself an "expert" in disorders; lived with one for 31 years!! LOL;
Allisonross, you just crack me up! LOL I think I am living with one too! LOL
Why would you think that? We are ALL different, and have our own stuff, and personalities. For instance, I LOVE to dance, party and be social. My sister is more reserved, and doesnt care if she EVER dances. Just makes her different/herself.
Maybe you are right. I guess I might be over thinking about myself. Heck, my T says he doesn't dance either! I guess we would be a good match! LOL :) But I prefere to dance between the sheets! LOL
> Can you repeat it (being new; I mised it) "brownie points" Hmmm, this is a game? T*t for tat?
WEll I have been in therapy since this Jan. for PTSD. I had a very abusive childhood and my mother is nuts and I am still scared of her. All the stuff is in the archives since Feb. if you want to check it out! So my T waits to gain some of my trust (because I didn't trust anyone before therapy) before he might say something about me or what I am doing that I could take very personally if I didn't trust him. So I am just wondering if he was just helping me with stage fright or was there something more to it. Sometimes he is very sutle when he brings things up with me.
> > So, enough about ME, what do YOU think about ME, LOL?!
Hey, Ally girl, why do you care what I think? LOL
>
> Okay, time to e-mail me at wacalice@aol.com, where I can tell you what I REALLY (LOL) think!I will try to sent you a test email and in the subject line, I will write HEY ALLY GIRL!!. So don't delete it okay, just email me back so I know you got it okay. Then I will tell you what I think! LOL
From happyflower, one insane flower!
> Grins, Ally (sassy) Born standin' up and talkin back!
>
Posted by allisonross on November 2, 2005, at 10:29:13
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » allisonross, posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 9:20:10
> >
> >
> >
> > Are you a performer? ( I have no problem in front of an audience; I am a dancer); as my t says: I am so "out there", LOL
>
> Yeah, I am trumpet player and I started playing again after 15 years of not playing.This is cool! how come you waited so long?
I have a concert next week on Wed. and the following Sunday. I am a little nervous, because it has been a long time. But normally being a little nervous, gave me an extra edge. :)
Yup, I am always nervous too, but I get the endorphin "high" when dancing (or singing, but singing was taken away from me at church); it used to take me hours to come down, afterwards; so euphoric!
>
> > I consider myself an "expert" in disorders; lived with one for 31 years!! LOL;
>
> Allisonross, you just crack me up! LOL I think I am living with one too! LOL
>
> Why would you think that? We are ALL different, and have our own stuff, and personalities. For instance, I LOVE to dance, party and be social. My sister is more reserved, and doesnt care if she EVER dances. Just makes her different/herself.
>
> Maybe you are right.you should know one thing about me; i am ALWAYS right, LOL, LOL
I guess I might be over thinking about myself. Heck, my T says he doesn't dance either! I guess we would be a good match! LOL :) But I prefere to dance between the sheets! LOL
So do I (except that ship has sailed for now); none in (ahem) 5 months, and the ahhhh, desire is on "KILL" Born that way, I was.
>
> > Can you repeat it (being new; I mised it) "brownie points" Hmmm, this is a game? T*t for tat?
>
> WEll I have been in therapy since this Jan. for PTSD. I had a very abusive childhoodSo did I.
and my mother is nuts
My mother is nuts too, if we compare crazy mothers, I think i will win! LOL
and I am still scared of her.
That's why i joined the army right out of high school, cause I knew if I stayed around i would end up in prison (for offing her, LOL)All the stuff is in the archives since Feb. if you want to check it out!
Will do
So my T waits to gain some of my trust (because I didn't trust anyone before therapy) before he might say something about me or what I am doing that I could take very personally if I didn't trust him.
It's weird (even tho abused as a child, and then in 31 years in marriage, not to mention (although I AM, LOL) abuse from my church, I still am trusting.
So I am just wondering if he was just helping me with stage fright or was there something more to it. Sometimes he is very sutle when he brings things up with me.
>
> > > So, enough about ME, what do YOU think about ME, LOL?!
>
> Hey, Ally girl, why do you care what I think? LOLCause I relate to you! Cause I like you.
> >
> > Okay, time to e-mail me at wacalice@aol.com, where I can tell you what I REALLY (LOL) think!
>
> I will try to sent you a test email and in the subject line, I will write HEY ALLY GIRL!!. So don't delete it okay, just email me back so I know you got it okay.I will!
Then I will tell you what I think! LOL
I look forward to it, and can't understand why I never got an e-mail; i wouldn't have deleted it, if it looked like it was from this group, etc.
>
> From happyflower, one insane flower!Hey, that RHYMES, and i write poetry. Mayhaps i will write a poem about YOU!
I've spent a lifetime hearing how "crazy, different, bad" I am. i consider it a compliment!
>
> > Grins, Ally (sassy) Born standin' up and talkin back!
> >
Posted by Jen Star on November 2, 2005, at 10:49:09
In reply to social disorders? anyone know about?, posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 6:24:26
hi Happyflower,
I personally don't think, from what you described, that you have a pesonality disorder. Many normal people just don't like dancing, singing or drinking in front of others. It doesn't make them weird or antisocial -- it just means they have different tastes and likes! Maybe those ones who love dancing/singing wouldn't like attending a book club, doing bird watching, giving a public speech, attending yoga, etc. Everyone likes their own "thing." It's OK to be different. :)I worry sometimes that the drug makers are trying to push meds on people who REALLY don't need them. I know SNL (or similar) did a skit where they were spoofing Zoloft/Celexa/Paxil/etc. A man's voice said: "do you sometimes wake up feeling a tiny bit sad? Sometimes not want to go to work? Sometimes get irritated at your spouse? Sometimes just want to relax? Well...you need THIS drug!"
It was funny, because it DID sound like some of those commercials! I think it's normal to have a certain level of anxiety about some daily activities, or some social activities. And if we over-medicate, we sort of lose our own perspective on things.
I think those drugs are meant for people who have serious issues -- like, can't leave the house, would rather quit than make a presenatation at work, etc.
But that's just my opinion!
JenStar
Posted by Jen Star on November 2, 2005, at 10:54:30
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » Happyflower, posted by Jen Star on November 2, 2005, at 10:49:09
and I agree with Allison that there are lots of techniques one can learn and practice to get better in social situations.
There are classes in giving speeches and public speaking, books to read on how to make small talk. If you do web searches you can find a lot of good information. Or maybe check out the "self help" or "work" sections at the local bookstore or library.
I think there are tons of things that could be done w/out turing to certain meds, and then you'd feel really proud that you conquered something.
About your T -- if you think you see a pattern, such as trust/disclosure, maybe you're right. You've been with him for a while and probably know his style pretty well now. Can you ask him about it -- tell him that you've been wondering if he's doing this, and see if you're right? Even if you're not, I'm sure it would be an interesting conversation.
Good luck! :)
JenStar
Posted by caraher on November 2, 2005, at 14:32:26
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » Happyflower, posted by Jen Star on November 2, 2005, at 10:49:09
I *have* gone through the social anxiety treatment game (through therapy, not meds). What you describe sounds normal - it's normal to be anxious that you don't sound like a fool, to shy away from singing in front of others, etc.
The key is that you said, repeatedly, that these situations make you feel "a little bit" anxious. I think it crosses the line when you feel A LOT anxious in those situations. When you take extreme measures to avoid what should be mild social stresses to the detriment of your career. Has this anxiety ever stopped you from, say, applying for a job you want? In my case, one effect was years of not being treated for depression. Just couldn't make the phone call or blurt anything out. My social anxiety diagnosis was actually triggered by a therapist asking my wife why she was calling on my behalf rather than my doing so.
The basis of CBT treatment for this is frequent exposure to anxiety-provoking situations. Several times a day. Even if you're "normal" but have anxieties a good way to minimize their power is to find and push your limits doing some of the things already suggested. Take a public speaking course. Act in a community theater group. Don't set yourself up for failure by trying something *too* stressful, but be sure whatever you do does provoke some palpable anxiety.
Posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 20:28:37
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » Happyflower, posted by Jen Star on November 2, 2005, at 10:49:09
Thanks Jen! I guess I just need to relax a bit. I guess I can't change everything about me! LOL
Posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 20:30:09
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about?, posted by caraher on November 2, 2005, at 14:32:26
Thanks caraher,
I am glad somebody thinks I am normal, I wasn't sure! :)
Posted by Damos on November 2, 2005, at 21:20:02
In reply to social disorders? anyone know about?, posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 6:24:26
Well I have to say I agree with everyone else that you sound pretty normal to me. Not everything is *something* that need to be fixed, especially by pills that may do who knows what else.
If you're happy (sorry no pun intended) as you are and it's not causing you any problems, then just relax and let yourself be you.
Posted by Happyflower on November 3, 2005, at 2:38:12
In reply to Re: social disorders? anyone know about? » Happyflower, posted by Damos on November 2, 2005, at 21:20:02
Posted by fairywings on November 3, 2005, at 8:34:56
In reply to social disorders? anyone know about?, posted by Happyflower on November 2, 2005, at 6:24:26
Ah Happy, you're not a social retard! ; ) And there's no way your T would think you are! I agree with caraher, when anxiety causes you to avoid things, staying home instead of getting out there, then there's a problem. When your heart races, your palms sweat, your head spins, you can't talk, you feel like your choking or drowning, when you feel like you might "lose it" or go crazy, you forget where you are or how you got there, then you have a problem that needs meds or CBT, or both.
Being a little shy, and feeling insecure in social settings is normal. Being afraid to dance or sing, or whatever is normal. No one wants to take a chance and feel like they might look like an idiot. Just the fact that you've gotten out there with the classes and the band is a sign of healthy self esteem.
Beta blockers are used for a lot of things, one is temporal lobes problems - they cause behaviorial instability - acting out, anger, stuff like that. I KNOW that's not you! ; )
fw
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