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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 13:39:56
Okay, after almost a week of very conflicting feelings over my last session, here's where I'm stuck now.
As most of you know, I revealed a dream in my last session that my therapist said revealed that I have a very negative transference toward him, bascially that I thought he was stupid and officious.
Stupid, no, not at all. I'm not sure how he thinks I think that. I listen to every word he says. My favorite sessions are the ones where he blabs away the whole time and he's noticed that and commented on it. So where does he get stupid from?
Officious, yes sometimes. But I have never said that to him and most of the time he is cold and formal I know that it is to protect himself from these very toxic feelings that I somehow want to spread to him.
So, he is way way off base from my reality and my feelings here. And I've been seeing him weekly for 3 years. So not really a lot of excuses for that.
So what's going on?
Very scary thought. Is it projection on his part?
He said and I quote exactly "There are things revealed by this dream that it is very difficult to talk about in any context."
Are his feelings towards me so negative that he projects them all back onto me?
Has this possibility occurred to any of you?
Or is it me just putting on my self-protective armor? He-hates-me-anyway-nothing-matters is a form of protection, no?
But he-hates-me-anyway-nothing-matters will at least get me there tomorrow. The here's-what-little-I-have-I-hope-it's-good-enough which is the feeling I had when I told him the dream just keeps me in the black pit.
Posted by rockymtnhi on August 22, 2005, at 14:08:33
In reply to Therapist Projection, posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 13:39:56
Cricket,
I cannot imagine what it is like to openly share your dream innocently with your T just to get all of that terrible feedback. I wish that you had not been left to struggle with this since your last session.
I am wondering if your T can point out another situation when he thought that you were saying that he is stupid outside of the dream analysis.
I don't know which way the projection or negative transference is going. It sounds like you hit a sore spot in him and that would be his issue and not yours. I am curious to know what he will say in the next session.
Posted by annierose on August 22, 2005, at 16:13:56
In reply to Therapist Projection, posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 13:39:56
(I just wrote you back and lost the entire message ... I'm having that sort of day)
The main thing I wanted to let you know, is only you know what your dream ultimately meant. And you know your therapist better than we do. If it's a relationship you want to keep, then I wouldn't let his comments go unexamined. What in the heckers does he mean when he says:
"There are things revealed by this dream that it is very difficult to talk about in any context"
Ask him to expound on that!! What "things"???? What can't be talked about?? Isn't that the number one component of TALKING THERAPY!!!
When I was confused in therapy decades ago, I often sought second opinions. I found them quite helpful in sorting out the relationship (therapy for therapy). These consultations work best if you seek a therapist with a similar orientation, comparing apples to apples; a psychodynamic theraputic dynamic would appear differently than CBT.
I don't know what is going on. But this is your therapy, not his. Trust your gut. Don't make excuses for him. I would give him a shovel at the next session (grin).
Posted by Dinah on August 22, 2005, at 17:09:40
In reply to Therapist Projection, posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 13:39:56
Well, if I'm to be extremely positive, I would say that perhaps he was trying to open the door for you to talk about things that he might suspect are hard for you to talk about. So he's normalizing your hesitation by saying that it would be difficult for anyone to talk about those things.
I hate normalization.
Definitely talk to him about it. Whether it's projection on his part or on your part, or what's going on is hard to tell from a distance.
Do you ever wish we could be flies on the wall in each other's therapy so we could get a better idea of how to be helpful?
If I remember correctly, didn't this all come up toward the end of the session, on a day where he already seemed sort of stressed?
Hopefully tomorrow will sort some of it out.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 22, 2005, at 18:57:28
In reply to Therapist Projection, posted by cricket on August 22, 2005, at 13:39:56
in the dream a child rang him up and his response was rather negative. stupid and officious even. so maybe thats where that came from. he might be wondering 'does she really think i would respond to her like that?'
and by the sounds of it... part of you is afraid that he would. that he might...
This is the end of the thread.
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