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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
This morning was my first appt since my summer vacation. I was conflicted about going (not sure why) but also looking forward to reconnecting. As soon as she opened her door to get me out of the waiting room, she greeted me with a giant genuine smile and said "welcome back". It was so nice to receive her smile. Felt very cozy.
I had so many wonderful experiences on this vacation, and I'm really mad at myself for talking about all the things that went wrong. Why do I do that? Sometimes she'll explain that your unconscious knows why you are here (in therapy), and those uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and experiences may rise forward. I felt okay leaving, felt understood, but sometimes I wish she could see the happy, competent side of me.
Annierose
Posted by orchid on August 15, 2005, at 16:31:38
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
Good for you.
As far as her seeing the happy, competent side of you, I am sure she sees that too in you. Any competent therapist will be able to see that. Even though they may not see that part in therapy, they must be able to visualize you in your strong personality.
Hugs,
Orchid.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 15, 2005, at 17:18:08
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
Smiles can be great :-)
I think I'm the same when it comes to talking about the bad / hard stuff a lot... But then, I guess therapy is about dealing with the hard stuff. I worry a little that if I seem too happy then that will be grounds for termination. Gotta keep up with the problems ;-) But seriously though it does worry me a little. Even in the waiting room I can feel all the sh*t surfacing and all the happy things just vanish.Afraid of termination I guess.
Posted by Fallsfall on August 15, 2005, at 17:43:18
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
I'm glad she was glad to see you. That must feel really good.
Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2005, at 23:00:38
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
How lovely. :) A nice smile would be special.
My therapist said he missed me. I smiled and told him he was too busy to have missed me. He admitted he was busy but added that he had missed me. And said that he was glad that he was seeing me for the first appointment of the day. I told him I almost cancelled because I thought I was nuts to have made an 8 am appointment. He admitted he had woken up thinking *he* was nuts for having made an 8 am appointment.
I didn't feel much except for sad at not feeling much.
Your reunion sounds much nicer.
(Do you think you didn't want to let her know that you could manage quite nicely while she was gone?)
Posted by All Done on August 15, 2005, at 23:24:38
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
> This morning was my first appt since my summer vacation. I was conflicted about going (not sure why) but also looking forward to reconnecting. As soon as she opened her door to get me out of the waiting room, she greeted me with a giant genuine smile and said "welcome back". It was so nice to receive her smile. Felt very cozy.
>
> I had so many wonderful experiences on this vacation, and I'm really mad at myself for talking about all the things that went wrong. Why do I do that? Sometimes she'll explain that your unconscious knows why you are here (in therapy), and those uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and experiences may rise forward. I felt okay leaving, felt understood, but sometimes I wish she could see the happy, competent side of me.
>
> AnnieroseHow nice of your T to make you feel so good coming back after vacation. I bet she understands that it's not the easiest thing to get through even if it is vacation. So, she probably also understands why you needed to get all the stressful stuff off your chest.
I worry, too, that I only talk about the icky stuff in therapy. The moments where I laugh or talk about something good feel quite nice. If I did that all the time, though, I don't imagine I'd get much accomplished.
I'm glad she gave you one of those nice moments. Way to go Annierose's T!
Laurie
Posted by gardenergirl on August 16, 2005, at 2:13:25
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » annierose, posted by All Done on August 15, 2005, at 23:24:38
Posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 6:26:03
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » annierose, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2005, at 23:00:38
Hi Dinah -
Hmmm, I don't think that is quite it. It was something we are working on. I'm so disappointed in the way my husband handles the children. Instead of distracting them with songs, games or stories when they get fussy, he usually retorts, "kids, be quiet" in a strong tone. It gets VERY annoying after awhile and I have to speak up to defend the kids. They are children afterall and this trip required lots of driving (Canadian Rocky Mountains --- very cool). I have come to the conclusion that my husband has ZERO natural parenting instincts. Can't I upgrade to one with more memory chips, processing power,
speed and interactive access?
Posted by Dinah on August 16, 2005, at 9:18:05
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » Dinah, posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 6:26:03
If you find a place that does upgrades, let me know. I'm happy with my basic model, but a few enhancements would be appreciated.
I was noticing that my husband can never give a simple correction. "Your elbows are in your plate. Reach higher please for your drink." Instead he has to give a big sermon on how if he can't eat without getting his elbows in the plate, he'll never be able to eat in public, and he's not a baby anymore, etc. etc. until not reaching high enough for a drink seems like an error that will keep him out of college and a meaningful life. :)
I wouldn't consider it a problem that you mentioned something that you were working on. We talked about my husband's behavior on the trip, both good and bad. You can tell her all the wonderful things you did next time.
(What tips did your therapist give? Mine just commiserates with the problems that come when you live with a person with ocpd. He doesn't really have anything constructive to say.)
Posted by Shortelise on August 16, 2005, at 13:23:44
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
The happy competent side is not what needs to see a T!!
I often find myself gesturing out of the window and telling my T how I am "out there". I feel like I am this bumbling emotional case in my T's office and at times I have to tell him, hey I do ok out there, dammit. He knows it though, and he knows why I am in his office, sniveling. :-)
ShortE
Posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 14:10:11
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » annierose, posted by Shortelise on August 16, 2005, at 13:23:44
Thanks, you are right. She even told me today, "you are so alive, so full of energy ..."
So I know she "knows" me. I just don't want to come off as a constant whiner. I want to be likeable, especially to her.
Posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 14:24:08
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » annierose, posted by Dinah on August 16, 2005, at 9:18:05
Hi Dinah-
I'm so lucky I had another appointment today so we could go over more of this husband stuff. I think today she was helping me understand the reasons why it's difficult for my hubby to be "on the same page" as I when it comes to the children. And of course it has to do with his own personal issues with his own father. It made perfect sense. In essence, he doesn't feel the need to change because that is how his father dealt with him and he is unwilling to come to terms with how painful that was for him, and how disappointing.
She gives me ideas (words that I need) to have these conversations with my husband. My H deep down wants to be different, wishes he could be more like me (he'll say "Annie, get the kids to listen to me" or "Why don't the kids respect me like they do you?"). Changing how I approach the topic with my H helps him listen to my ideas. Unfortunately, it's not a perfect process nor fast. And the kids keep growing up.
I left today feeling quite happy. It feels nice not only to be understood, but supported for how you feel.
P.S. I think your T telling you that he missed you while he was away, was SUPER DUPER NICE! Can't be anymore direct.
Posted by Poet on August 16, 2005, at 20:56:17
In reply to A giant smile from my T today, posted by annierose on August 15, 2005, at 15:33:22
Hi Annierose,
Your T was genuinely happy to see you, what a fantastic feeling.
You can see the competent happy side of yourself, your T will see it, it'll just take time. Therapy is darn slow and hard and slow and hard...
Safe cyber hugs.
Poet
I think you will be able to get your T to see those positive traits in you. It just takes time. Therapy is so slow and hard. Wait, I already said hard. There it goes again.
Safe cyber hugs.
Poet
Posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 21:06:48
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today, posted by Poet on August 16, 2005, at 20:56:17
I know you are right. And I think she does. I haven't seen you around here in awhile. Hope all is well. Thanks for the cyber hugs -
Annierose
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