Posted by annierose on August 16, 2005, at 14:24:08
In reply to Re: A giant smile from my T today » annierose, posted by Dinah on August 16, 2005, at 9:18:05
Hi Dinah-
I'm so lucky I had another appointment today so we could go over more of this husband stuff. I think today she was helping me understand the reasons why it's difficult for my hubby to be "on the same page" as I when it comes to the children. And of course it has to do with his own personal issues with his own father. It made perfect sense. In essence, he doesn't feel the need to change because that is how his father dealt with him and he is unwilling to come to terms with how painful that was for him, and how disappointing.
She gives me ideas (words that I need) to have these conversations with my husband. My H deep down wants to be different, wishes he could be more like me (he'll say "Annie, get the kids to listen to me" or "Why don't the kids respect me like they do you?"). Changing how I approach the topic with my H helps him listen to my ideas. Unfortunately, it's not a perfect process nor fast. And the kids keep growing up.
I left today feeling quite happy. It feels nice not only to be understood, but supported for how you feel.
P.S. I think your T telling you that he missed you while he was away, was SUPER DUPER NICE! Can't be anymore direct.
poster:annierose
thread:541988
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/542502.html