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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on August 2, 2005, at 22:23:23
I think I have some major attachment problems with people. I don't seem to be able to attach to anyone.
My pdoc for example...she's great, I tell her everything, but I will admit that I haven't missed her one bit since she went on maternity leave. It is like she doesn't exist anymore.
The same thing with my sister. She's away at school right now and I don't miss her one bit. I enjoy her company a great deal when she comes home, but I don't even think about her when she's away. It is like I don't have a sister anymore.
The same thing with my ex boyfriend. We were quite close but I don't know if I was just pretending or something. I don't miss him one bit and I think I broke his heart.
I'm starting to wonder if I am capable of loving a human being. It gives me some hope that I am able to have a relationship with my hamster. My plush animals got replaced by my hamster. That is a step forward right? At least a hamster is a living thing.
I just love how soft my plush toys are...they comfort me. Hammy is very soft too. Hammy can't be made to do things I want him to do. I learned that when i first got him. I got really angry at Hammy at first because he didn't do what I wanted him to do. I sort of teased/tortured him a little bit :-(. I think I really scared him. Then I learned to love Hammy for being a hamster. I love him now and wouldn't torture him.
Maybe I can learn to love people?
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 3, 2005, at 9:13:19
In reply to Attachment problems, posted by Deneb on August 2, 2005, at 22:23:23
Do you remember always having these difficulties? Are you currently experiencing a severe depression? In some cases the feelings that you have described can be part of that.
I wish that I had some brilliant advice for you. Just know that the people in babbleland care about you!
Best,
EE
Posted by alexandra_k on August 3, 2005, at 17:43:46
In reply to Attachment problems, posted by Deneb on August 2, 2005, at 22:23:23
> I think I have some major attachment problems with people. I don't seem to be able to attach to anyone.
I feel like that sometimes...
> My pdoc for example...she's great, I tell her everything, but I will admit that I haven't missed her one bit since she went on maternity leave. It is like she doesn't exist anymore.Remember how I talked about object constancy before??? About how objects continue to exist when we aren't around vs objects just go out of existence when we aren't...
Part of them continuing to exist when we aren't around is to do with internalising them... So you might be having a bit of trouble and you can think 'I don't know what to do... What would my p-doc say???' and from there you can sort things out for yourself.
It takes time to attach.
Really.
I'm only just starting to feel attached to my current t
And I've been seeing her for... Well... Almost a year now...
> I'm starting to wonder if I am capable of loving a human being.I worry about that too :-(
>It gives me some hope that I am able to have a relationship with my hamster. My plush animals got replaced by my hamster. That is a step forward right? At least a hamster is a living thing.
:-)
Yeah.
> I got really angry at Hammy at first because he didn't do what I wanted him to do. I sort of teased/tortured him a little bit :-(. I think I really scared him. Then I learned to love Hammy for being a hamster. I love him now and wouldn't torture him.That sounds like progress :-)
> Maybe I can learn to love people?I hope so...
And its not just about how you feel...
Its about the things you do as well...
You say lots of caring stuff on the boards.
That helps other people feel like you care about them.
Do you think about the boards and people on the boards when you are off the boards? Think about what people might say to you?
Posted by Deneb on August 3, 2005, at 22:04:42
In reply to Re: Attachment problems, posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 3, 2005, at 9:13:19
> Do you remember always having these difficulties?
To tell you the truth, I never even *noticed* these difficulties...that kind of shows how disordered I was/am. I think I've always had problems with attachment.
People...make darn sure your babies/kids attach *securely* to you!! They may get screwed up otherwise!
>Are you currently experiencing a severe depression? In some cases the feelings that you have described can be part of that.
No, I don't believe so. I get depressed sometimes, but those spells do not last long enough to qualify as clinical depression.
I think the problems with attachment/object constancy are a part of my borderline personality disorder.
> I wish that I had some brilliant advice for you. Just know that the people in babbleland care about you!
Thanks, that is good to hear. Sometimes I really need to be told of something in a very straightforward way. E.g. "ODs are a bad idea because they can lead to injury or death." ;-)
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on August 3, 2005, at 22:21:35
In reply to Re: Attachment problems, posted by alexandra_k on August 3, 2005, at 17:43:46
> > I think I have some major attachment problems with people. I don't seem to be able to attach to anyone.
>
> I feel like that sometimes...So sometimes you don't feel like that? :-)
> Part of them continuing to exist when we aren't around is to do with internalising them... So you might be having a bit of trouble and you can think 'I don't know what to do... What would my p-doc say???' and from there you can sort things out for yourself.
You know, funny thing, my p-doc always told me to think to myself, "What would (her name) tell me?" Maybe she was trying to help me with the whole internalizing thing.
> It takes time to attach.
> Really.
> I'm only just starting to feel attached to my current t
> And I've been seeing her for... Well... Almost a year now...I've seen my p-doc for about 3 years. :-(
> Do you think about the boards and people on the boards when you are off the boards? Think about what people might say to you?Hmmm...now that you mention it, not too much. :-( Sometimes I do, when direct references are made to my real life. Other times I think I feel like this world is another world. I'm not sure where I'm real anymore. Right now I'm thinking about Larry and his surgery. I think I really do care about people here.
It is difficult for me to think about what others would say to me at times...especially when I'm in a very emotional state. That is something I must learn to do...step out of myself...to look at things without my emotions colouring everything.
Thanks Alexandra...I don't know where I'll be without you! :-)
Deneb
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