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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
I have been going to therapy for a couple of months, I was on celexa now I'm off (thank goodness). Iam doing alot better in some ways. Learning to not listen to the negative and not true things I batter myself with. And how emotions are not always accurate etc. What i don't get is I see people write that they phone their therapists and I wouldn't have thought they would allow that, and what could they do anyway? Also the whole relationship thing is weird to me. I've never socialized that well, so its hard to talk to my shrink and I don't know whats appropriate or normal cuz I don't know really how to do it in real life either.(I'm 42, I spent most of the time between ages 12-30 in various stages of drunkeness). I dunno whether this makes any sense. I'm new. I'm learning. There seem to be some awfully nice people on this board. Thanks.
Posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:45:30
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Mna, I been reading posts. You supposed to say eveything to T.? I go blank when i try to talk about myself much or anything too intense. I can't communicate in person. Mebbe I should e-mail her, but I guess your supposed to go in person to learn how to talk or something. I'm so confused. Its all rather daunting. Goto do it though. Wanto be a better momma to my kids.
Posted by LadyBug on July 14, 2005, at 0:10:42
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Don't be hard on yourself. This is a process and it takes a lot of time to figure out and even then it is HARD!!!!!
I know you will learn a lot by reading the threads. I have. It will give you a head start on your work with your therapist. Nothing comes easy in this work.
My Therapist doesn't allow e-mail. Not her thing yet I suppose. I have spent a lot of time writing in a journal though. And I've taken it to my sessions many times and read it to her. It has worked great for me. And I love looking back to see the growth.
LadyBug
Posted by muffled on July 14, 2005, at 0:50:10
In reply to Re: New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by LadyBug on July 14, 2005, at 0:10:42
> Don't be hard on yourself. This is a process and it takes a lot of time to figure out and even then it is HARD!!!!!
> I know you will learn a lot by reading the threads. I have. It will give you a head start on your work with your therapist. Nothing comes easy in this work.
> My Therapist doesn't allow e-mail. Not her thing yet I suppose. I have spent a lot of time writing in a journal though. And I've taken it to my sessions many times and read it to her. It has worked great for me. And I love looking back to see the growth.
> LadyBug
>
>Thanks ladybug. thats another thing I'm learning. Is to let people be nice to me and accept it as my due, not shut it out. I am keeping a journal and on a couple of sessions when i couldn't talk, let her read some of it. She could read all of it if she wanted. She's never asked so I guesss she wouldn't want to. Its crazy (HA!) to be going to a T. and being so hard to talk. Its expensive too. But I can get past spending all that money on myself by saying it will make me a better mom to my kids and then I can raise them up to be the best that they can be.
There's been times when I wished i could phone her, and I have left a message or two, and she did phone back, but then I couldn't really say much. I don't know the protcol here. I suppose I should ask but I feel silly and embarrased to say anything. Lordy, no wonder I'm a nut!!!!!!!
Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2005, at 8:17:22
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Trouble is that the rules are different from therapist to therapist. And even for the same therapist they differ from client to client based on the client's needs. My therapist doesn't like phone calls in general. But he knows I'm willing to pay for them, and he knows that I have a tendency to build up a whole disaster in my head unless I can talk to him and get a reality check, so he encourages me to call. I'm always thoughtful about the times I call, during office hours almost always.
I had trouble talking about difficult things, so I used to write letters to him, and bring them in. At first he'd make me read them to him aloud, because reading them is more powerful emotionally than writing them. Now he only sometimes makes me do that, like with the poem I brought in the other day.
The best way to clarify those things is to talk about them. Talking about the process seems like a waste of time, but it sets the groundwork for talking about other things. Saying "I have trouble talking about things, and I was wondering what I could do to make it easier. Here are some of my ideas, do you have any?" (I still occasionally use voicemail to leave a brief message to introduce a difficult topic, and he can later then bring it up and encourage me to talk about it.)
Or you can say "Therapy is sometimes confusing to me because I'm not sure about the rules. I read about people who xxxx, and I was just wondering how therapy was supposed to work."
Some of my best sessions came from that sort of conversation.
Welcome to Babble. This is a great group of people.
Posted by Daisym on July 14, 2005, at 13:08:02
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Dinah said it well. The rules for your therapist might not be the rules for mine. The most basic rule is to be as honest as you can about what you are thinking and feeling, even if you aren't sure it is the right thing to be thinking and feeling. If you are making the grocery list in your head when your therapist is talking, or when it is quiet, you should tell her. This could mean a number of things. It took me forever to not just dismiss certain things. I still edit and censor my thoughts, but there are times when I blurt stuff out.
Calling is tricky, you should definately ASK. If you haven't heard this before, read "In Session" -- it makes so many of the rules understandable. There is a thread above where we are reading and discussing the book.
This is a great place to ask questions. Welcome!
Posted by muffled on July 14, 2005, at 15:03:53
In reply to Re: New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by Daisym on July 14, 2005, at 13:08:02
Thanks eveybody for your ideas. Its so cool that someone would take the time to help me, and not for money! Ha! I would like to help others too, but I think I'm more learning from others right now and I tell myself that thats ok. I will read that thread about the book and see if its available in stores or library around here. Goto run now. Thanks to all.Very much. Don't feel so alone.
Posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 21:15:08
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Susan's just been lucky that her therapist hasn't had her arrested, or a Peace Bond put on her or something.
Maybe she just took advantage of the fact that there's a confidentiality issue in therapy ... which should really continue outside of it, as well, I mean, afterward ... I don't think anybody but an extremely messed-up person like me, would actually obsessively phone and phone and phone just to verbally vomit, or to have her brain turned on by the sound of someone's voice ...
Posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 21:18:07
In reply to Re: New to therapy, dunno about rules » muffled, posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 21:15:08
When I say "Susan" of course, understand that I am talking about me. No other "Susan".
Posted by Poet on July 16, 2005, at 11:14:01
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Hi Muffled,
My therapist told me in the second session to call her anytime I needed her. It took me a year before I did because I thought she'd think I am a pest. She probably does, but she always calls me back if she doesn't pick up the first time.
I think every therapist has his/her own rules. Mine gives out her home phone number, I know others don't.
Poet
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