Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2005, at 8:17:22
In reply to New to therapy, dunno about rules, posted by muffled on July 13, 2005, at 23:01:33
Trouble is that the rules are different from therapist to therapist. And even for the same therapist they differ from client to client based on the client's needs. My therapist doesn't like phone calls in general. But he knows I'm willing to pay for them, and he knows that I have a tendency to build up a whole disaster in my head unless I can talk to him and get a reality check, so he encourages me to call. I'm always thoughtful about the times I call, during office hours almost always.
I had trouble talking about difficult things, so I used to write letters to him, and bring them in. At first he'd make me read them to him aloud, because reading them is more powerful emotionally than writing them. Now he only sometimes makes me do that, like with the poem I brought in the other day.
The best way to clarify those things is to talk about them. Talking about the process seems like a waste of time, but it sets the groundwork for talking about other things. Saying "I have trouble talking about things, and I was wondering what I could do to make it easier. Here are some of my ideas, do you have any?" (I still occasionally use voicemail to leave a brief message to introduce a difficult topic, and he can later then bring it up and encourage me to talk about it.)
Or you can say "Therapy is sometimes confusing to me because I'm not sure about the rules. I read about people who xxxx, and I was just wondering how therapy was supposed to work."
Some of my best sessions came from that sort of conversation.
Welcome to Babble. This is a great group of people.
poster:Dinah
thread:527361
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/527458.html