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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 16:47:13
So it is happening again in work.. Taking other person's responsibility and keeping silent about the other person's slacking off and ending up with the blame in the end by myself. How do I stop??
There is this guy I work with - maybe 15 years senior to me - but he is absolutely being irresponsible.. he is not doing anything he is supposed to be doing. And I am covering his *ss full time. Other members are trying to guard for me, and they are telling me to escalate the issue to my manager, and I find it just impossible to do it.. I am blaming myself, and keep doing his work, and I am slipping in mine and I am not compalining to my manager.. which I really should do, but I don't seem to have the courage.. what if he says I am the one to be blamed, or I should have done it better? Everyone (atleast 3 more people) have told me so far that I am covering up this guy big time, how bad he is really behaving.. but I can't seem to find courage to put the blame on him. And I am feeling guilty about the project going downhill. But I don't seem to be able to bring it up to my mangaer, and he is wondering where my time is being spent. I keep all the conversations and all the stuff that I am working on to myself, and I am slipping in some other deliverables of mine because I am way too overloaded. And I am blaming myself yet again.. Only this time, I am becoming aware of the pattern. I don't take responsibility for things I need to do, but end up taking responsibilities for others.. I have always always done this throughout my life - covering up for my dad..
Posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 16:54:16
In reply to Every time I end up taking other's responsibility, posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 16:47:13
And worst thing is, I am keeping my manager out of the loop all the time.. Everyone else is aware of what I am doing, and they even come and ask me how I am doing, how I am coping up with so much of stress, how I manage to be sane with all the work. But my manager is wondering what I am doing, and somehow I find it really really impossible to defend myself. And I fail to include him in all the emails, and I manage stuff by myself.. The first time I started working 8 years back, my manager gave me the same exact comment - that I try to manage myself without seeking help, and till today, I have the same problem. It really is pulling me down.
Posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 17:17:26
In reply to Re: Every time I end up taking other's responsibility » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 16:54:16
Guess what, after I wrote here, I somehow got the courage.. And went and spoke to my manager. And even more fantastic, he agreed. He had heard about this guy from others, and he agreed that I am covering up for him, and he is going to ask him to step up and do his job. !!!!
The first time I have ever complained about someone in my career.. and got away with it.
It is such a relief. !!!
Posted by Tamar on July 8, 2005, at 19:45:48
In reply to I did it !!! » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 17:17:26
> Guess what, after I wrote here, I somehow got the courage.. And went and spoke to my manager. And even more fantastic, he agreed. He had heard about this guy from others, and he agreed that I am covering up for him, and he is going to ask him to step up and do his job. !!!!
>
> The first time I have ever complained about someone in my career.. and got away with it.
>
> It is such a relief. !!!It's so great that you were able to speak to your manager, and trust him, and that he responded so well! It's such a difficult thing to do, and very frightening to contemplate. I'm really pleased that you found the resources to say what you needed to say. I hope that it will make your life at work much easier from now on.
Tamar
Posted by Jen Star on July 8, 2005, at 20:16:01
In reply to I did it !!! » pinkeye, posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 17:17:26
((pinkeye)) !!!!
Good for you! I'm so excited that you spoke up for yourself, AND that your manager agreed. That is awesome news. It makes me feel good to hear that you were firm and gave yourself the respect you deserve. I hope this makes for a great weekend!
JenStar
Posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 20:34:22
In reply to Fantastic!!! » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on July 8, 2005, at 19:45:48
Thanks Tamar. How have you been? Are you over your bad mood?
It was so very relieving to receive a validation from my manager.. I was quite very scared of blaming this guy - becuase he really is a much senior guy.. he himself was one of the big managers, and I was nothing compared to him. But my manager acknowledged it.. and this guy was becoming popular with everyone for being lousy too much anyway so I think it was easier for my manager to see.
Posted by pinkeye on July 8, 2005, at 20:38:16
In reply to Re: I did it !!! » pinkeye, posted by Jen Star on July 8, 2005, at 20:16:01
> ((pinkeye)) !!!!
>
> Good for you! I'm so excited that you spoke up for yourself, AND that your manager agreed. That is awesome news. It makes me feel good to hear that you were firm and gave yourself the respect you deserve. I hope this makes for a great weekend!
>
> JenStarThanks JenStar.. I was pretty happy myself too.. I was really getting burdened, and today morning was the heights of it.. I ended up being in a call and speaking for my company with some other company, and he was supposed to be there, but didn't get on the call.. And I am not really the person authorized to do all the talking. And it really got to me because I am doing all that he is supposed to be doing, and I am missing my other deadlines.
This is the end of the thread.
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