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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 13:49:01
I think I should never have tried to compare my ex T with the Ts in the US. It is really like comparing apples and oranges - they are totally two different breeds.
They are more like life coaches in India - typically therapy runs for 2 months I think, and me and my ex T attempted something like they do in the US - long term emotional therapy and that too via emails, and he was not trained for it, and hence all the trauma and mess at the end for me.
There really is no point in wishing he was like US T - he is not and he never was. But unfortunately, it didn't prevent me from developing transference and I ended up having to pay the price and pick up the slack myself and figure it out.
And there really is no point in trying to convey anything to my ex T.. Most likely, it would have been over his head and he would have just been totally confused of what I am tyring to say or why I feel so bad. There simply is no point in trying to make him understand and help me out.
I think I have been doing much better lately after that email, and if I proceed in this rate, one day shortly I might be able to think of my exT as an ordinary person and my father also as an ordinary person, and I won't have this intense problems.
Posted by Shortelise on July 1, 2005, at 16:34:18
In reply to Comparing apples and oranges, posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 13:49:01
That's an insight, Pinkeye, isn't it.
You're working it through. I wish I had the kind of clarity you seem to be getting.
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 16:46:37
In reply to Re: Comparing apples and oranges, posted by Shortelise on July 1, 2005, at 16:34:18
Thanks ShortE.
One thing that came to my mind when I read your post is, when I try to work through a problem, I switch between myself and the other person. I put myself in the other person's shoes and try to think of me as the problematic person.. Like I pretend to myself like I am my ex T or my father, and see my behavior.
Maybe if you try that, it might give you more clarity.
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 1, 2005, at 17:06:17
In reply to What I do to understand.. » Shortelise, posted by pinkeye on July 1, 2005, at 16:46:37
May i just take this opportunity to give you all a large hug!
This is some good stuff going on - so glad I found this site and you guys! Im ALL for clarity ;)
Blue skies and mince pies (in your eyes)
Ross
This is the end of the thread.
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