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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 12:57:01
One thing that I got today is that when you are abused as a kid you tend to repeat the same pattern again and again in your adulthood..
You tend to look for the same pattern of relationships, somehow unconsciously repeating the abuse.
I previously thought that people repeat the pattern because that is what is familiar to them.. But now I realized that people repeat it in a hope of solving the trauma associated with it and the unresolved conflicts and make peace with it. They don't seek to repeat the abuse - but to actually solve it.
All along I thought I was attracted to men like my dad because I wanted my dad. That somehow if I had him, it would complete the circle, and it would put my mind to rest.
But today I realized what I was looking for was to actually make sense of the abuse.. That is why I keep looking for the same kind of relationship with men.
I realized I didn't really want a romantic relationship with my ex T. Previously I thought that would be very fulfilling.. But now I realize it won't fulfill me.. All I wanted was to solve the problem and dilemma I had with my father. That is why I had made him my surrogate father..
Posted by B2chica on July 1, 2005, at 10:36:23
In reply to When you are abused - repeating the pattern.., posted by pinkeye on June 30, 2005, at 12:57:01
that is amazing insight. i'm so happy for you. it actually explains a lot for me.
thanks for sharing.
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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