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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 16:36:06
This happened a while ago, but I've been thinking of it lately. I haven't really discussed it in therapy, just a passing reference some months ago. Maybe this is coming up because I'm dealing with disordered eating in therapy and how seemingly everyone (parents, sports coaches, friends, parents of friends, etc.) would comment on my weight when I was growing up. Maybe this sort of flashbacky thing is going on because I've been discussing how I felt my body was not my own, with all the comments and such.
OK, here it is. When I was probably 13-15 years old (37 now), when I would be standing at the kitchen counter and my dad walked by, he would sometimes come up behind me and run his finger sharply down my my spine. And he always told me I looked good standing as straight as I did. It ALWAYS made me feel very uncomfortable, and as I got older I would manouvre myself so he couldn't do that. From what I remember, this was the only inappropriate contact going on.
So a few months ago I was in my kitchen and my husband (who I love dearly) came up behind me and gave me a little slap on the rear end (something we always do). I freaked. My heart lept in my throat and I got scared. I didn't reveal it to my husband, I just smiled.
Something like this hasn't happened since but the event stayed with me because I had a very strong reaction. Maybe it was the coming up behind me. Maybe it was because I was in the kitchen, I don't know.
Well, just wanted to share because it's really been on my mind lately. Thanks for listening.
spalding
Posted by rabble_rouser on July 1, 2005, at 17:14:53
In reply to Weird flashback (triggery?), posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 16:36:06
Hi spalding,
That must have been very disturbing for you - well done for keeping the smile up. Do you think it would be a good idea to tell the hubby? It might help to stop you building anxiety over it, you know, worrying it might happen again?
Maybe get him to blow a raspberry before he enters the kitchen or something?
Have you looked up PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)? This normally applies to people that have been in horrible distasters, but there is a milder form of it too, called complex PTSD, and both feature flashbacks triggered by particular circumstances.
Some info here: www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm
Blue skies
Ross
Posted by Jazzed on July 1, 2005, at 21:39:05
In reply to Weird flashback (triggery?), posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 16:36:06
>
> So a few months ago I was in my kitchen and my husband (who I love dearly) came up behind me and gave me a little slap on the rear end (something we always do). I freaked. My heart lept in my throat and I got scared. I didn't reveal it to my husband, I just smiled.That does sound pretty scary. I agree with rabble, I think the hubby ought to know about the trigger, what your dad did and the feelings it caused in you. Might make you feel better to talk about it with your T too.
(((gentle hugs)))
Jazzy
Posted by daisym on July 2, 2005, at 0:07:20
In reply to Re: Weird flashback (triggery?) » spalding, posted by Jazzed on July 1, 2005, at 21:39:05
I'm struggling with how to write this because I don't want to discount your fear or question your response. I guess I just want to say that if you are deep in thought and someone startles you, it would cause the reaction you described. It may or may not be related to your dad. I think sometimes we need/want to explain the origins of all our reactions and this can lead to connecting things or questioning things that don't need to be. Does that make sense? I'm not saying that you didn't have a flash back, but I would feel sad if this incident made you search and list all the potentially inappropriate things your dad every did to you. I think when we are involved in the theraputic process of self-examination we are much more likely to make these kinds of lists.
But, I'm also the first one to say that you should listen to your gut. Just don't make yourself nuts by over-analyzing stuff. I hope I didn't offend you with any of this.
Daisy
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