Posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 16:36:06
This happened a while ago, but I've been thinking of it lately. I haven't really discussed it in therapy, just a passing reference some months ago. Maybe this is coming up because I'm dealing with disordered eating in therapy and how seemingly everyone (parents, sports coaches, friends, parents of friends, etc.) would comment on my weight when I was growing up. Maybe this sort of flashbacky thing is going on because I've been discussing how I felt my body was not my own, with all the comments and such.
OK, here it is. When I was probably 13-15 years old (37 now), when I would be standing at the kitchen counter and my dad walked by, he would sometimes come up behind me and run his finger sharply down my my spine. And he always told me I looked good standing as straight as I did. It ALWAYS made me feel very uncomfortable, and as I got older I would manouvre myself so he couldn't do that. From what I remember, this was the only inappropriate contact going on.
So a few months ago I was in my kitchen and my husband (who I love dearly) came up behind me and gave me a little slap on the rear end (something we always do). I freaked. My heart lept in my throat and I got scared. I didn't reveal it to my husband, I just smiled.
Something like this hasn't happened since but the event stayed with me because I had a very strong reaction. Maybe it was the coming up behind me. Maybe it was because I was in the kitchen, I don't know.
Well, just wanted to share because it's really been on my mind lately. Thanks for listening.
spalding
poster:spalding
thread:521622
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050628/msgs/521622.html