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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 11:08:25
I called My T yesterday. It helped to talk to him. Because it is the summer I don't get to see him as much...I still feel horribly guilty about calling him. I know he doesn't mind, but I just keep worrying that I will be the bad patient, the needy patient....anyone else have any ideas on this subject. THanks
rubenstein
Posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 12:46:29
In reply to Why do I always fill guilty when I call, posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 11:08:25
Hi there rubenstein:
I totally understand your feelings. I lean on my pdoc and my T. a lot, and also have problems with thinking that others in my life don't want to deal with someone who needs so much.
(Especially with work - my boss is great and never denies my requests -- working from home, time off for dr. visits -- but I think he'll get sick of dealing with me and my needs.)
I see phone calls as an acknowledgement that you need extra support, and who doesn't need that, especially if you're feeling vulnerable, sad, etc. And your T. is OK with it! If he felt something was "off," he would tell you.
And maybe you should talk to him about your fears about calling. It would be so good to acknowledge this...then it would make your phone interactions that much better and focused so you can deal with whatever is going on. I know it's hard to bring in issues about the patient/T. relationship, but I think it would be so helpful.
I hope you feel better about this soon. He's very generous, it sounds like.
I wish you lots of good things!
spalding
Posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 12:50:19
In reply to Why do I always fill guilty when I call, posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 11:08:25
I don't know because I called mine this morning and I feel guilty too a little. I haven't heard from him yet. I have a major bone to pick with him and he must know it because he hasnen't called me yet! lol
Posted by Shortelise on June 30, 2005, at 13:18:17
In reply to Why do I always fill guilty when I call, posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 11:08:25
it's such an important relationship and we need them so much. I guess that some of us are afraid of crossing boundaries and losing the relationship?
I dunno, but I do know what you mean.
ShortE
Posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 15:32:45
In reply to Re: Why do I always fill guilty when I call, posted by happyflower on June 30, 2005, at 12:50:19
> I don't know because I called mine this morning and I feel guilty too a little. I haven't heard from him yet. I have a major bone to pick with him and he must know it because he hasnen't called me yet! lol
I hope things go okay Happy Flower and thanks to everyone else for your posts, maybe it is a natural feeling to feel a little guilty? hmmmmm.... Probably needs to be talked about....
Rachel
Posted by alexandra_k on July 1, 2005, at 2:24:35
In reply to Re: Why do I always fill guilty when I call, posted by rubenstein on June 30, 2005, at 15:32:45
I never used to call.
When I was doing DBT it was supposed to be part of DBT to establish contact between sessions (mostly so no contact could be a negative consequence of SI). But I wouldn't call. So she started calling me - which I hated to start with.But we talked about it. And I said that I was scaired that if I started calling I would lose my self-control and be calling all the time. And she said that she would tell me if I called too much. That she wouldn't wait till it got to be far too much and she had to terminate me. But I was still afraid of that because I would have felt mortified even if she just told me very politely that I was calling a bit much.
Eventually... I used to call her about once a week which was alright.
I don't like calling. But I do like emailing. The clinicians here aren't too sure about that... I don't think it is typical for them to hand their email addresses out to their clients. But I really like email because I figure I can just email them if I need to / want to, I have a chance to try and phrase it properly, and they can respond more at their leisure.
I do think it is worth talking about though. It might be to do with fears of becoming a 'bad' patient who will be terminated. It can help if they give you some kind of concrete idea what 'too much' would be so that you know.
I think different therapists feel differently about different degrees of out of session contact. It is worth finding out a bit more about what your t's limits are.
This is the end of the thread.
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