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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 10:17:18
As I was walking out the door from my last session, my therapist says, "Oh you know I'm not here next week, right? Vacation for 'insert doctor's first name'
My first thought was who's 'doctor's first name'? since I always call him and think of him as Dr. 'last name'. Anyway when I finally made the connection, I just said, "Oh, okay, so when's our next session?" "July 12th," he said.
My next thought, believe it or not, was "Yes! I get a break" and my mind immediately started making a list of everything I want to do while he's gone.
Now, I have to admit I would have liked a little notice on the vacation. If I had known one week in advance or even at the beginning of the last session, I would have taken the tone of the last session which was extremely light and easy, almost chitchat, as more of a gift than asking myself what strange therapeutic direction does he seem to be going in now.
But all that aside, I'm not quite sure what to make of my reaction. I am sure part of it is a defensive child-like reaction. "You're going on vacation. Guess what, I'm even happier than you are about it."
But there was also a genuine sense of relief. Now I will finally have some energy to get some work done, go to the gym, finish that piece of writing, clean my house, take a trip to the beach, see a movie with my husband, etc.
In some ways, that's all nonsense because I go to therapy for one lousy hour a week so how could that be preventing me from doing any and all of the above things but it takes up so much energy that there often seems room for little else in my life.
So I'm wondering if anyone else ever thought about the price (not just money) you pay to go to therapy. Does it ever just seem like it's not worth it?
Posted by Sonya on June 30, 2005, at 11:11:40
In reply to T on vacation, posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 10:17:18
Yes. I often feel now it's not worth it. It totally drains me. In fact, I'm going to my T appointment in 5 minutes and I'm a nervous wreck! Why do I get so worked up beforehand? We have a pretty good relationship and she used to help me with specific problems I got stuck on but not so much anymore. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell her I quit today...that's how much I feel it's not worth it anymore.
Posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 11:18:46
In reply to Re: T on vacation, posted by Sonya on June 30, 2005, at 11:11:40
Good luck Sonya. I hope you can hold it together. Sometimes I wonder how I don't pass out on the way to my appointment.
Anyway, I think the question is, at least for me, every time you think of quitting is there a part of you that screams "Noooooo!"
Posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 12:35:04
In reply to T on vacation, posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 10:17:18
>So I'm wondering if anyone else ever thought
>about the price (not just money) you pay to go
>to therapy. Does it ever just seem like it's not
>worth it?I had therapy with a couple of different T's around 1996-1998 and I came out of it feeling I learned precious little. I was really angry that I had spent time and money on something not worth it.
But I think it really depends on the skill of your T. to make it worthwhile and be able to deal with a patient's up moods, down moods, transference, etc. so that the patient feels safe.
In 2003 I finally got diagnosed (BPD), and ironically, both my pdoc and my T. said if the previous therapists had been worth their salt they would have referred me to a pdoc, considering the problems I was having.
My pdoc sent me to my current T. and it finally clicked. We do 3-4 hours a week over two sessions. We are doing such good work it makes a world of difference to me -- the learning, the understanding about myself and others. Maybe I'm not describing it correctly, but I hope I never leave this path I'm on. Thank goodness it's FINALLY worth it, or I don't know what would have happened to me.
spalding
Posted by Sonya on June 30, 2005, at 12:56:48
In reply to Re: T on vacation » Sonya, posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 11:18:46
> Anyway, I think the question is, at least for me, every time you think of quitting is there a part of you that screams "Noooooo!"ABSOLUTELY! I think because it's the only situation in which I feel like someone is truly listening to me without being judgmental or necessarily trying to *fix* me. BTW, I just came back and we scheduled one more session to review and sum up. Today's session was awful though...I was too anxious to make much sense.
Best of luck to you.
Posted by fallsfall on June 30, 2005, at 16:37:44
In reply to T on vacation, posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 10:17:18
Your initial reaction to hearing that your therapist is going on vacation is an important indicator. The fact that you are looking forward to the extra time does indicate that it might be worth talking about whether things should be winding down. If you were looking forward to him being gone because it would be less stress for you, that would be a different story. Likewise, if you were distressed that he was going on vacation.
So, feel good that you had that reaction and see if it still feels that way when he gets back.
P.S. I'm amazed that he didn't tell you about it earlier...
Posted by cricket2 on July 1, 2005, at 8:43:37
In reply to Re: T on vacation » cricket2, posted by spalding on June 30, 2005, at 12:35:04
Hi Spalding,
It does sound like you are on the right path. Finding the right therapist makes all the difference, I guess.
Posted by cricket2 on July 1, 2005, at 9:00:07
In reply to Re: T on vacation » cricket2, posted by fallsfall on June 30, 2005, at 16:37:44
You're right. It looks like it is time to talk about wrapping this up. So far still feeling good. Probably better than I have in a couple of months.
I won't talk about it right when he gets back. I have to say that I hate him when he gets back from vacation. He's snide and officious. That first session back I always feel like I'm at an interview with the INS or the IRS or whatever agency sends waves of fear and repulsion down your spine. I'll give him a couple of weeks to get back to his empathic self and then I'll say "You know I really enjoyed those couple of weeks that you were on vacation."
Yes, in the past he's mostly remembered to tell me a couple of weeks in advance when he's going on vacation. The one time he forget he looked abashed and apologized. I did say that time though that it was fine. I didn't need to know in advance. So maybe he remembers that. Most likely though, he just knows me as the patient who now has little transference and never really had any dependence so at this point his comings or goings don't matter much.
Posted by daisym on July 2, 2005, at 0:08:24
In reply to T on vacation, posted by cricket2 on June 30, 2005, at 10:17:18
This is the end of the thread.
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