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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 14:09:12
I was thinking I would get my T a pen engraved with a special nickname I gave him that he likes! Would this be too expensive or too much?
I would give it to him in our last session whenever that will be. (probably years from now)
Posted by pinkeye on June 27, 2005, at 14:12:40
In reply to Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 14:09:12
My therapy is coming over now too.. I am also pondering over the same thing. I am not planning to give her an expensive gift - but maybe something more personal like a coffee mug which I paint kind of thing.
Posted by Jazzed on June 27, 2005, at 15:37:45
In reply to Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 14:09:12
> I was thinking I would get my T a pen engraved with a special nickname I gave him that he likes! Would this be too expensive or too much?
> I would give it to him in our last session whenever that will be. (probably years from now)Ask him. It will probably make him ask if you're thinking of ending work with him though.
Jazzy
Posted by 10derHeart on June 27, 2005, at 15:39:08
In reply to Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy?, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 14:09:12
Sounds lovely to me. I mean, I'm assuming it won't be a super-expensive pen...like a Mont Blanc or something...to where the actual $ amount might make him react by saying, "you shouldn't have....it's too much....,". you know, like anyone might (not just a T.)if another person "went too far".
But, I'll bet you just mean a reasonably priced pen - and the engraving is perfect, IMO. From what you've said of your T., I'll bet he would really be touched. And you know he'd keep it, use it and think of you in the future...nice thought, isn't it?
When I had to say goodbye to my ex-T. last summer when he moved away, I gave only a card, with a lot of heartfelt stuff written inside. I wish I had added a gift, thinking back. But, we have given each other plenty of *gifts* in the form of emails that I will treasure forever since then. So it kind of makes up for it. The coolest thing was, after he finished reading it (while I squirmed and stared at the floor),he made this obvious show of making a space on his desk, and standing it up near his computer monitor. That gesture meant the world to me.
If you're really worried, though, you could bring up the topic in general, just say it's something you think you'd do whenever therapy ends, and does he have a policy or any special boundaries about gifts.
Posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 16:02:32
In reply to Re: Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy? » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on June 27, 2005, at 15:39:08
I bet your T treasured your card because you have such a nice way of wording things. :)
Posted by 10derHeart on June 27, 2005, at 16:22:06
In reply to Re: Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy? » 10derHeart, posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 16:02:32
You are so incredibly sweet. I feel pretty good and stable today, but after reading that one line I feel even *better*...my face might start hurting from smiling!
Because it matters to me. I love to write and hope to figure out a way to make maybe a part-time job out of that someday soon (though it's just a fantasy at the moment...) But even more, with my ex-T., who is just the best guy ever, and here at Babble, people like this are so valuable to me, I WANT to give them my best effort, as often as I'm up to it.
Guess we all need that attention, affirmation and praise, don't we? Or I'm just being needy..but that's okay here, too :-) (((HF))) > who filled my need today...gosh, don't tell hubby, don't want him all confused and jealous...LOL
Posted by happyflower on June 27, 2005, at 16:51:31
In reply to Re: Are gifts acceptable at the end of therapy? » happyflower, posted by 10derHeart on June 27, 2005, at 16:22:06
> You are so incredibly sweet. I feel pretty good and stable today, but after reading that one line I feel even *better*...my face might start hurting from smiling!
You know the smiles that hurt are the best ones! You need to work those smile muscles more! :)> Because it matters to me. I love to write and hope to figure out a way to make maybe a part-time job out of that someday soon (though it's just a fantasy at the moment...)
I think that dreams and fantasies are so important in our lives. This is why I am playing the trumpet again, and this fall I want to take a culinary class, or a art class. We need to take care of "us". I am finally figuring this all out.
But even more, with my ex-T., who is just the best guy ever, and here at Babble, people like this are so valuable to me, I WANT to give them my best effort, as often as I'm up to it.
We are glad you are here! But you don't always have to do your best if you are not up to it!
>
> Guess we all need that attention, affirmation and praise, don't we? Or I'm just being needy..but that's okay here, too :-) (((HF))) > who filled my need today...gosh, don't tell hubby, don't want him all confused and jealous...LOLThank you, your comments are making me feel good too. :)
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