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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 7:12:57
I've been wondering how therapy is going for you.
Posted by Poet on June 20, 2005, at 18:35:20
In reply to Poet, how are you doing?, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 7:12:57
Hi Dinah,
We're working on chipping away at my negativity and self hatred. I called myself *this thing* two sessions ago. My T leaned forward and said *Poet, you've got to stop referring to yourself that way. You are a human being, not a thing. If you could only see yourself as you really are.*
She said that I have this deep groove of negative thinking that I am stuck in. I can't climb out of it. I guess chipping away at it is like blasting an escape hole. I'll have to tell her that analogy. See I pay attention when she leans forward and uses my name.
She is willing to stick by me even though I think of myself as a stubborn old mule who won't budge. So I guess it's good that one of us sees progress, even if it's slow.
I am trusting her a little more. She said she's noticed that I'm not crossing my arms and legs tightly for the entire session, just once and awhile. She say *don't cross yourself* and it gets me to stop. Though I clench my hands together...
Thanks for asking. How are things with you?
Poet
Posted by annierose on June 20, 2005, at 19:01:37
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing?, posted by Poet on June 20, 2005, at 18:35:20
Hi Poet -
Progress is progress, there are no time restraints. I'm glad you are able to see some humor too. I cross my legs tightly too, but I don't clinched my fists because I have my hands generally over my face :)
I don't know why it's so hard to see all the good inside ourselves, it's so easy to see the good in others.
I was happy to see you post again.
Annierose
Posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:27:36
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing?, posted by Poet on June 20, 2005, at 18:35:20
That sounds like real progress!!
Yes, I too pay attention when he uses my name *or* leans forward. I guess he saves it for special occasions.
She's right, you know. I too wish you could see yourself the way others see you.
Posted by daisym on June 21, 2005, at 1:10:28
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing? » Poet, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:27:36
Me too, Poet. I *see* all kinds of beautiful things in you.
I've learned to uncross my arms. Instead, I hold onto the biggest pillow on the couch. :)
and I wear long skirts to I can pull my legs up on the couch and hold them anyway I want!
Posted by shrinking violet on June 21, 2005, at 20:32:21
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing?, posted by daisym on June 21, 2005, at 1:10:28
Posted by AuntieMel on June 22, 2005, at 8:35:10
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing?, posted by Poet on June 20, 2005, at 18:35:20
For some of us it takes longer than others.
Trust is a huge, huge issue for me too. I was seeing the same therapist for well over a year before I let the wall down - and then it was just a bit.
As I could see that he didn't betray me with those tidbits I would add a bit more, a little at a time. I can finally talk on an unemotional level about most anything but still don't show the feeling side.
I've come to realize that it's just part of the me that is right now. If I didn't have some issues I wouldn't be there in the first place.
No hurries.
Posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 20:55:09
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing? » Poet, posted by annierose on June 20, 2005, at 19:01:37
Hi Annierose,
I think maybe I clinch my fists so she can't see that my hands are shaking. Therapy turns me into a scared little kid, make that an angry kid with clinched fists for protection.
Hope I can unclinch and you can uncover your face.
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 20:59:35
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing? » Poet, posted by Dinah on June 20, 2005, at 19:27:36
Hi Dinah,
I am making progress, I am making progress... I am not a thing, I am not a thing...
I like to obsess over things so repeating should be easy, right?
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 21:05:28
In reply to Re: Poet, how are you doing?, posted by daisym on June 21, 2005, at 1:10:28
Hi Daisy,
I'll have to see if pillow holding protects me as good as arm crossing or fist clinching does. Though last time I held a pillow I threw it at her and she threw it right back. She has way better aim.
Thanks for seeing beauty in this beast. See, I didn't say thing.
Poet
Posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 21:06:08
In reply to {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{poet}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} (nm), posted by shrinking violet on June 21, 2005, at 20:32:21
Posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 21:11:05
In reply to Re: Patience, Poet, posted by AuntieMel on June 22, 2005, at 8:35:10
Hi Auntie Mel,
Trust takes time, trust takes patience. Good thing my therapist has time and patience.
Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to go slow and trust bits at a time, because I'll get there eventually.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on June 23, 2005, at 0:25:17
In reply to Re: Patience, Poet » AuntieMel, posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 21:11:05
You will get there, at whatever pace works for you.
And by the way, I found you absolutely delightful in person. I love your humor. Just thought I'd throw that in there. :)
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on June 24, 2005, at 9:12:09
In reply to Re: Patience, Poet » Poet, posted by gardenergirl on June 23, 2005, at 0:25:17
I agree with GardenerGirl- you have a wicked sense of humour! I find I spend a great deal of time walking around with my fists clenched. It takes a conscious act of will to stretch my hands out, and then I don't know what to do with them. I actually twiddle my thumbs.
pc
Posted by AuntieMel on June 26, 2005, at 14:20:46
In reply to Re: Patience, Poet » AuntieMel, posted by Poet on June 22, 2005, at 21:11:05
And when the trust gets there it will be real and genuine.
And no matter now it turns out with this therapist, you will have learned more about how to trust. And you will have learned more about trusting yourself.
A lot of "ands." No wonder it takes so long.
This is the end of the thread.
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