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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shrinking violet on April 24, 2005, at 17:19:26
My T is on my mind a lot this weekend.....I hope she's all right. I hope my asking her about her injury didn't upset her. I hope she isn't feeling badly about leaving her mom today (something personal she told me yesterday, won't say more here). I wish I had hugged her yesterday. I hope she can feel me thinking about her now.....I wish I could let her know that she's on my mind.
And I'm caught in between.....In that place where I feel like I'm breaking down, and part of me needs to TELL someone, reach out, not for help, but just to get it out of myself, sort of like bleeding an infected wound. But the other part knows it's futile, it's better to keep it to myself, quietly plan, decide once and for all what I need to do, then do it, and not give anyone reason to blame themselves. Besides, I don't want to get locked up....that's worse than death, I think. And it's so late in the game....how can I be so honest with my T, etc, now, with only a couple more weeks to go before I lose my treatment team? And I don't want to seem manipulative....I think they already think I'm losing weight, and cutting again, etc, just to "get back at them" or try to manipulate the termination in some way.....I wish that's all it were.
I'm tired of crying, and hurting, and being alone, and awake.
And being a bother to everyone.....
:*-( Ouch.
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} to everyone who is hurting today.
Posted by Poet on April 24, 2005, at 21:19:38
In reply to on my mind....., posted by shrinking violet on April 24, 2005, at 17:19:26
Hi SV,
Extra strong hugs to you.
You are never a bother to me.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on April 24, 2005, at 22:13:34
In reply to Re: on my mind..... » shrinking violet, posted by Poet on April 24, 2005, at 21:19:38
Hi sweetie,
I know this is such a difficult time for you. Remind me, you are losing your team because you are graduating? I think part of the termination process should include finding you the support you need in the community once you are done with this team. Have they talked about that at all?I know that when I graduate I am not done with therapy. But it will mean a change. And that is so hard.
Can you try to be honest with your team about what you are feeling in this? Please allow them to help you all the way through. I know it seems really dark now, but it does get better. It does. But you have to be there to allow it to.
(((((((SV)))))))
gg
Posted by daisym on April 25, 2005, at 0:31:00
In reply to on my mind....., posted by shrinking violet on April 24, 2005, at 17:19:26
No words of wisdom I'm afraid. I just want you to know that we would miss you here. I know it is painful and sometimes getting through is the best we can do. It is OK to let people help you, so I've been told, over and over again. Let your team help you.
If you feel like you don't fit into the world, such as it is now, perhaps your role in this life is to change the world.
Just a thought. Hugs from me.
(((((((SV)))))))
Posted by 10derHeart on April 27, 2005, at 9:14:35
In reply to on my mind....., posted by shrinking violet on April 24, 2005, at 17:19:26
Been thinking of you a lot. I know this is a really rough time.
When do you see your T. again?
Please stay in touch with us....we all love you being here and want you to stay...(((((sv)))))
This is the end of the thread.
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