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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on March 15, 2005, at 18:53:03
Today I immediately started my session thinking about all the threads that come up on this sight. I told her that I think I'm missing something. People that have "mom" issues on this sight, tend to talk about having the perfect mommy therapist, talk about the longing and aching for that mom they never had. I did NOT have a "good enough" mom, but I don't experience those longing feelings either.
I asked her straight out, does she think I need to grieve those hurtful childhood feelings in order to move forward (i.e experience that pain again, the pain I can't even remember feeling). I was so surprised when she said "yes". She then went on to say that although it will be painful the rewards will be great. That I will realize I don't need to be afraid anymore. I don't even know what to say, since my relationship with my mom was never there to begin with, so it's not like I knew what a good mom ever was. She even asked me when I see movies or read books, do I comment to myself, "I wonder what my life would be like if I had a mother like that?" No, I don't do that. I'm a happy person (for the most part) and live in the present. I'm not one of these people that wish to re-live their high school or college days. Then she added, "I think all that pain is just below the surface." Of course, a flood of tears tried to reach the surface, but I stuffed them back down again. What the heck is going on? I think she is right on some level. I understaind rationally what she is saying, emotionally it's hard to put into words feelings I'm not quite sure what they are saying.
I told her I was afraid of leaving after 45 minutes still upset. She said she would tell me when it was 10 minutes to go. She did that today for me, but I didn't like it. Then I felt I was just killing time for 10 minutes.
Boy, I'm confused. I told her I don't think I have the courage for this. She said I did. Afterall, it was me that started this conversation and I was chipping away at it today. Does this make sense?
Posted by antigua on March 15, 2005, at 22:33:46
In reply to DEEP therapy session, posted by annierose on March 15, 2005, at 18:53:03
Yes, it does make sense, and I'm glad your T was so honest w/you. I don't believe that mine is truly honest w/me about what she thinks, but that's our issue, so I'm happy she put it on the table for you.
It's hugely hard work, but you will reap great rewards. I know I certainly have. (Now, please don't anyone accuse me of being hypocritical in my earlier discussions about leaving therapy-- I think therapy is great; I may just have reached the end of it)
antigua
Posted by Shortelise on March 16, 2005, at 0:20:14
In reply to DEEP therapy session, posted by annierose on March 15, 2005, at 18:53:03
Here's a thing about those early mommy feelings - they're pre-verbal, so if you have the feelings, but don't have words for them, they could be the elusive mommy stuff.
You know, it's interesteing work, this mommy stuff. I find that exploring it has changed my entire way of looking at other people. I give an inch where I didn't used to. I am less angry, feel less derpived, less greedy for attention and respect. This is my reaction, others are surely different, but working it through has made my life better.
SHortE
Posted by annierose on March 16, 2005, at 6:26:31
In reply to Re: DEEP therapy session » annierose, posted by antigua on March 15, 2005, at 22:33:46
I don't know WHAT to say. Interesting comment about the feelings being pre-verbal. And I would never have thought to ask the question if it wasn't for babble and everyone else's thoughts about the subject.
So am I to sit there and just cry? That just seems odd. But I guess I muddle through somehow.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2005, at 9:52:17
In reply to Re: Funny thing is .../Shortelise » antigua, posted by annierose on March 16, 2005, at 6:26:31
It is odd. Sometimes I have had parts of sessions where I just cried and I couldn't explain in words what was going on. Often it related to a body feeling. But still. Feelings are odd. I ALWAYS want to label and explain stuff, and my T tries to make it okay for me to just experience it.
Good luck if you decide to go into this. I do think it can be helpful. It's interesting that your T jumped right on it. I think I might ask her about that if I were you. Just a thought.
gg
Posted by Annierose on March 16, 2005, at 10:27:32
In reply to Re: Funny thing is .../Shortelise » annierose, posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2005, at 9:52:17
GG-
What do you mean "jumped right on it" ... I don't quite understand. What do you think I might want to ask her?
And yes, this is odd. And I don't think I feel comfortable feeling ODD!!
Annierose
Posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2005, at 11:15:30
In reply to Re: Funny thing is.. » gardenergirl, posted by Annierose on March 16, 2005, at 10:27:32
I got the impression that she said yes fairly quickly. I may have read that into it when it wasn't there. If that's not the case, then just disregard.
If she did, then you might want to ask (if you haven't already), about her quick and ready answer to your question about it. If she's been thinking you would benefit but you hadn't thought of it until you brought up the Babble stuff, it just made me wonder when she might have brought it up, if ever. That's all. (sheesh, that's a complicated sentence!)
gg
Posted by Annierose on March 16, 2005, at 12:49:12
In reply to Re: Funny thing is.., posted by gardenergirl on March 16, 2005, at 11:15:30
Well her answer was not quick, but rather a long pause, and thought of reply. BUT ... I do wonder if she would have ever said "I think you need to do x,y,z". She is psychodynamic and rarely brings up topics for discussion. But I did bring up this conversation myself. Although I have only been working with her for a little over a year, I did work with her for close to 5 years, 20 years ago, so she knows me pretty well.
What I wanted to say during the session, but didn't "will you catch me if I fall?". But it sounded queer. I'm over-thinking right now.
Annierose
Posted by Shortelise on March 16, 2005, at 17:18:40
In reply to Re: Funny thing is .../Shortelise » antigua, posted by annierose on March 16, 2005, at 6:26:31
With pre-verbal feelings, the way seems to be to sit with them, feel them, and eventually we seem able to come up with words.
ShortE
This is the end of the thread.
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