![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 15:09:06
Ok, after 5 failed AD trials and pursuing natural remedies including supplements and accupuncture and hypnosis, I think the veil of depression may actually be lifting. I don't want to jinx myself, but I am starting to feel a bit more like my enthusiastic, optimistic self. Anyway, what I am struggling with now is a sense of loss or remorse. I am not grieving the loss of the depression (LOL), but rather what I lost during the depression (maybe this doesn't make sense). Anyway, I suppose I may just be wrestling with self-forgiveness. How does one refocus their binoculars so to speak and forgive themself for months of living inside a self-protective cacoon? How does one look and move beyond the guilt and shame (because that is what I feel towards myself)? How does one forgive themself for shutting down and shutting out? Maybe it is just me. If anyone else has had to deal with these types of feelings, can you explain to me how were able to refocus your binoculars.
Thanks
Tamara
Posted by pinkeye on March 10, 2005, at 15:44:36
In reply to After the veil of depression has parted, posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 15:09:06
Just as you forgive yourself for anything that you do in life which makes you feel ashamed and/or guilty later.
We have ALL done things we are extremely ashamed of/embarrased about in life at several points. But at the same time, we have ALL done things we are extremely proud of/felt good about in life.Life has both the ends all the time and we are constantly thrown into different situations. Sometimes we overcome the difficulties and rise up, sometimes we crumble and fall down.
It doesn't matter so much if you fell down, what matters is whether you are able to pick yourself up and go on and learn from it, and be helpful to yourself the next time around and if you can, extend the help to others.
And remember, you did the best you could at that time, with the limited resources and help and knowledge available to you.
Posted by Tamar on March 10, 2005, at 16:41:53
In reply to After the veil of depression has parted, posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 15:09:06
I'm sorry you're feeling so distrssed.
When I read your post I thought perhaps you were being a little hard on yourself. If you were living in a self-protective cocoon, perhaps it was for the very good reason that you felt you needed to protect yourself!
Depression is an illness, like any other. If you injured your leg, would you feel guilty for being unable to walk?
I've also had similar feelings, not about my depression but about another illness I have. Part of the challenge for me was about accepting that I'm not superhuman, and that it's OK to be unwell.
On the other hand, while I think depression shouldn't be shameful, I can identify with having to grieve for what you've lost. I think you probably need to allow yourself to grieve, because naturally you were unhappy to find yourself shut down and shut off from the world.
I hope you find peace.
Tamar
Posted by pinkeye on March 10, 2005, at 16:44:53
In reply to Re: After the veil of depression has parted » TamaraJ, posted by Tamar on March 10, 2005, at 16:41:53
Posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 16:58:03
In reply to Tamar and TamaraJ - same or different persons? (nm), posted by pinkeye on March 10, 2005, at 16:44:53
Posted by Tamar on March 10, 2005, at 17:00:02
In reply to Tamar and TamaraJ - same or different persons? (nm), posted by pinkeye on March 10, 2005, at 16:44:53
Sorry if I confused you! No, I'm not TamaraJ. I'm just Tamar.
Posted by Aphrodite on March 10, 2005, at 17:45:05
In reply to After the veil of depression has parted, posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 15:09:06
First of all, I'm glad your depression is improving. It sounds like a well-deserved payoff for perservering through so many treatment plans. I hope it continues and improves for you. As for the self-blame, I try to check the judgment of myself against that of others. Would I judge another person in my shoes? The answer is no, I would feel compassion. So, I try (keyword: try) to show that same compassion toward myself.
I'm sure you've heard this mantra before, but you have to take care of yourself first before you can be of true benefit to anyone else.
Posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 18:13:30
In reply to Re: After the veil of depression has parted » TamaraJ, posted by pinkeye on March 10, 2005, at 15:44:36
Thank you pinkeye. You have given me good advice. It will take a little while, but I know I will forgive myself eventually.
Take care.
Tamara
> Just as you forgive yourself for anything that you do in life which makes you feel ashamed and/or guilty later.
> We have ALL done things we are extremely ashamed of/embarrased about in life at several points. But at the same time, we have ALL done things we are extremely proud of/felt good about in life.
>
> Life has both the ends all the time and we are constantly thrown into different situations. Sometimes we overcome the difficulties and rise up, sometimes we crumble and fall down.
>
> It doesn't matter so much if you fell down, what matters is whether you are able to pick yourself up and go on and learn from it, and be helpful to yourself the next time around and if you can, extend the help to others.
>
> And remember, you did the best you could at that time, with the limited resources and help and knowledge available to you.
Posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 18:18:46
In reply to Re: After the veil of depression has parted » TamaraJ, posted by Tamar on March 10, 2005, at 16:41:53
Thank you. It is hard to accept that we actually have limits - whether they be physical or emotional or both, and that we are human and will be ill from time to time. I am sure I will find peace eventually. It is just a matter of coming to terms with things and taking the necessary steps to try to ensure that it won't happen again. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes, so I need to work on being kinder and gentler with myself.
Thanks again, and take care.
Tamara
> I'm sorry you're feeling so distrssed.
>
> When I read your post I thought perhaps you were being a little hard on yourself. If you were living in a self-protective cocoon, perhaps it was for the very good reason that you felt you needed to protect yourself!
>
> Depression is an illness, like any other. If you injured your leg, would you feel guilty for being unable to walk?
>
> I've also had similar feelings, not about my depression but about another illness I have. Part of the challenge for me was about accepting that I'm not superhuman, and that it's OK to be unwell.
>
> On the other hand, while I think depression shouldn't be shameful, I can identify with having to grieve for what you've lost. I think you probably need to allow yourself to grieve, because naturally you were unhappy to find yourself shut down and shut off from the world.
>
> I hope you find peace.
>
> Tamar
>
Posted by TamaraJ on March 10, 2005, at 18:24:56
In reply to Re: After the veil of depression has parted » TamaraJ, posted by Aphrodite on March 10, 2005, at 17:45:05
Thanks. In all fairness to the treatment plans, part of the reason I was not responding was first because of severe iron deficiency and then as a result of severe side effects from a Depo Provera shot. But, it was discouraging nonetheless to have tried so many treatments. Anyway, thanks for the words of wisdom. It is true that I would never judge another for going through a similar experience. So, maybe I just need to envision myself standing in front of me and saying I forgive you (positive self-talk). I will try that on a daily basis for a while.
Thanks again, and all the best to you.
Tamara
> First of all, I'm glad your depression is improving. It sounds like a well-deserved payoff for perservering through so many treatment plans. I hope it continues and improves for you. As for the self-blame, I try to check the judgment of myself against that of others. Would I judge another person in my shoes? The answer is no, I would feel compassion. So, I try (keyword: try) to show that same compassion toward myself.
>
> I'm sure you've heard this mantra before, but you have to take care of yourself first before you can be of true benefit to anyone else.
>
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.