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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by JLynn on February 24, 2005, at 20:46:11
Hi all! I'm still fairly new and made a few posts so you probably don't know me, but I have read many many posts here and feel like I am getting to know everyone.
Today I had one of the best sessions ever with my T. After reading this board for a couple of weeks and finding out how therapy goes for everyone else I have learned a lot. I have discovered ways to bring up stuff that I NEED to talk about but don't WANT to. I really like my T, but she hasn't been too good at digging into my past. I should mention it is hard for me to talk as it is for many of you - I tend to put up a wall I think this is mainly to protect myself. I have secrets that I would like to share with her that no one knows and I have been living with them so long. So today I finally hinted around at some things and she started asking questions. I should also mention I brought this up at the end of the session - as I usually do when I have things I NEED to talk about....I guess so I can run and not face it. It's funny how we need and want therapy to get help, but many of us slow down the process by not talking to our Ts. We did get a good start on this even though I didn't actually tell her what it was yet. For the next session she made a deal with me - if I try to bring up the "big stuff" when we first meet instead of when times up and I asked her to be more pushy to try to get me to talk about things. Sounds silly, but I need someone to dig into this because it is hard for me to talk about,
Part of me doesn't want to tell her. I have always wished a had a good friend I could trust to tell, but I don't have that. And as my T said my support system sux! So my problem is that if I tell her this I will feel closer to her and will make it harder for me since I know therapy will have to end someday. Also, I only see her every two or three weeks. I recently had a bad "episode" with my depression and anxiety and had to see her unscheduled. I felt bad about it, but was really freaked out. The thing is I think I should see her at least 1 day a week, preferably twice, but she hasn't mentioned me coming in more. She works at a non-profit agency and I wonder if maybe they don't usually see clients that often or maybe she doesn't think I need it or if maybe I am the one who is supposed to bring it up - if this is the case I don't know how to approach it and I wonder if she would tell me if she thought it was a bit too much or would she just think I'm a needy freak???
Yeah I guess I am a bit paranoid - I overanalyze everything.Would love to hear what you all think. Everyone here makes such great suggestions. Thanks for all your help!
Posted by annierose on February 24, 2005, at 21:30:27
In reply to Great Session....FINALLY, posted by JLynn on February 24, 2005, at 20:46:11
I'm glad you had a great session. Some sessions feel so magical and it's a feeling that can last for days. I would ask her directly if you could see her once a week. That is fairly standard. Heck, I see my T 3 times a week. She suggested the twice a week, and after 10 months, I asked for the 3rd appointment. And it was no problem. All you can do is ask. I know it's hard not to feel rejected if she says "no" but it's not about you, it may have more to do with the agency she is associated with.
Posted by mair on February 24, 2005, at 21:30:53
In reply to Great Session....FINALLY, posted by JLynn on February 24, 2005, at 20:46:11
I think it's great you were able to strike a deal with her about bringing stuff up. My T has told me that controlling the pace of therapy is pretty important so your T probably needed you to tell her to push more. I know that at some point I had to have that conversation with my T - not so much about when I bring things up, but that maybe she needed to start pushing me to talk about things that were uncomfortable. I probably could have gone for years bouncing from one safe topic to another without ever accomplishing anything. I really needed to be nudged. Now I seem to gravitate to all of the hardest topics, without her needing to direct me at all.
When I first started seeing my T, I went once a week and she seemed really booked, so even when i felt at my worst, I didn't think I could ask to see her more frequently. The idea of going twice a week was hers, and it really surprised me. I just didn't think she had that kind of flexibility. If I felt I needed to see her even more frequently, I'm pretty sure it would be up to me to ask for it. That is part of therapy after all - learning how to ask for the things we need.
I really think it's ok for you to ask her about this. It's taken me years to be more attuned to what I need and to find ways to get it, and I'm still pretty awful about asking her for anything. The more proactive you can be about your own treatment, the better.
Posted by Dinah on February 25, 2005, at 15:12:45
In reply to Great Session....FINALLY, posted by JLynn on February 24, 2005, at 20:46:11
My therapist always says it's ok to ask. That the worst that will happen is that he'll say no.
Of course, I don't think he realizes how bad "no" feels.
But when you feel prepared to take a no, if that's the answer, I think you should try for a yes.
Posted by Speaker on February 25, 2005, at 20:12:47
In reply to Re: Great Session....FINALLY » JLynn, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2005, at 15:12:45
JLynn,
I think when you ask for more time it showa a T that you are really serious about doing the work. Therefore, I say go for it! I'm glad your here at Babble and look forward to hearing more from you.
Marie
This is the end of the thread.
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