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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I am sorry to keep belaboring this topic, but it's what I've been working on since January. I am fearful of going to the doctor, specifically to the OBGYN (haven't been for 10 years).
I now have an appt. for a checkup in May. This is HUGE for me. Yesterday during therapy, my T offered to talk to this OBGYN about me. I have never met this OBGYN before, never have spoken to her, and chose her because several of my friends go to her an LOVE her.
I just have a hard time imagining this OBGYN, who has never met me, would actually talk to my T. I mean, aren't physicians really busy? Why on earth would she take the time to call my T?
And wouldn't there be major phone tag involved? And do I call her office and actually ask to talk to this OBGYN? I can just imagine the eyerolling on her side as I take up her valuable time describing my phobia and could she pretty please call my therapist???
My T seemed to think this was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. What do you all think?
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
Posted by Daisym on February 18, 2005, at 10:39:55
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I think it is a lovely gesture on his part.
I have a female OB/GYN. She delivered all my babies. We worked on different sides of the labor table together with many clients. What impressed me most about the first time I met her was that she had me put in her office and we talked, fully clothed, before she did the exam.
Now in this day and age of managed care, I know that isn't always possible. But I think most OB/GYNs do this work because they love it and they are committed to their patients. Very similar to therapists, imo.
I say, let them talk if you are comfortable with this. It might help prove to you that you are worth this extra care and attention.
You are, you know...
Posted by TamaraJ on February 18, 2005, at 11:02:51
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
If your T is willing to do this for you, then I think that is a wonderful thing and you should consider accepting the generous offer. I have the same fears as you do, and put off having exams for years and still avoid it, sometimes going 7 or more years between exams. A good OBGYN (or even a gp) will understand that some (probably a good many) women are extremely anxious and uneasy about the exam. If it is any consolation, you are not alone, and are perfectly normal (IMO), with this feeling.
One thing that has helped me when I have to go is taking a small amount of Xanax to help me relax before the exam. Actually, my old doctor, who knew I was extremely apprehensive about the exam the first time, gave me some and told me to take it before I came in. I thought it was so nice that the doctor understood and was willing to do something to ease my emotional discomfort. And, it helped. One time, I had my walkman with me, and listened to some good, soothing music to take my mind off of it.
The feelings you are nothing to be ashamed of. Many women go through the same thing. So, please don't be afraid to speak up, or have your T speak up for you. A good doctor will take the necessary steps to put you at ease (including spendng a time listening to your concerns and addressing your apprehensions).
Tamara
Posted by sunny10 on February 18, 2005, at 11:06:44
In reply to Re: More Trouble Than It's Worth? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by TamaraJ on February 18, 2005, at 11:02:51
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2005, at 11:22:53
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I think it's worth the trouble, both for you and for the OB/GYN. She would probably find it easier to work with you if she knew what was going on.
It seems like a reasonable enough offer, and it seems reasonable for you to accept.
Plus, Miss Honeychurch, your therapist appears to have impeccable boundaries. I think you can trust him to do the appropriate thing.
Posted by partlycloudy on February 18, 2005, at 15:55:03
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
It's worth it and it's no trouble since your T offered. It will make it much easier for you - go for it!
And congratulations on making the appointment :)
Posted by Aphrodite on February 18, 2005, at 16:06:13
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I have been fortunate to have really wonderful and caring OB/GYNs in my life, and I am thinking that my current one would completely understand and be very willing to hear from a therapist. Mine often offers to talk to my PCP. I think OB/GYNs are very sensitive to the many barriers women have about getting treatment, and this would alert her to your specific needs.
Let him do this for you -- it's nice to be taken care of every once in awhile:)
Posted by mair on February 18, 2005, at 17:29:19
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I think it's worth it. I had one T who set me up with an internist for a physical, by calling her first. He thought she's someone I'd feel comfortable with. I stayed with her for several years until she left. It always made it so much easier for me that I knew that she knew about my depression. It was just nice having that already out on the table before I even had to start talking.
Mair
Posted by fallsfall on February 18, 2005, at 17:38:52
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
>I mean, aren't physicians really busy? Why on earth would she take the time to call my T?
>
> And wouldn't there be major phone tag involved? And do I call her office and actually ask to talk to this OBGYN? I can just imagine the eyerolling on her side as I take up her valuable time describing my phobia and could she pretty please call my therapist???It will probably save your OBGYN time in the longrun if she knows what your story is before hand. I think that what doctors often do is that they have certain times during the day when they aren't seeing patients (before the day starts, lunch, after the last patient, and potentially regularly scheduled time when they have no appointments for returning phone calls etc.). What I have seen happen is that one doctor calls the other to find out what times the other is available, and then arranges to call during one of those times. It is almost like they make an appointment to have a phone call.
Like when my therapist wanted to talk to my pdoc, my pdoc said that he is available 12 - 1 every day except Wednesday. So, even if my therapist had appointments all day, he could call in the 10 minutes between appointments that falls between 12 and 1.
I would encourage you to let them talk.
Posted by TamaraJ on February 18, 2005, at 18:06:46
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
I just wanted to add, FWIW, as soon as I ended up going and having the exam, it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. And, it is over quite quickly. As for not going regularly, it is no longer out of fear, but rather that I tend to neglect my health at times and get busy with other things and forget to make an appointment. So, I am just a bad, negligent patient, and that irks my doctor to no end.
Anyway, I have been where you are, and I understand completely what you are going through.
Take care.
Tamara
Posted by Speaker on February 18, 2005, at 20:49:02
In reply to Re: More Trouble Than It's Worth? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Dinah on February 18, 2005, at 11:22:53
I have worked in many medical offices and it is no problem for one Dr. to call and talk to another. The Dr's always seem to be grateful to T's or other Dr's that care enought to help the pt. and help the Dr. treat the pt. in the best mannor. Please allow the T to take care of you in this way if it would be helpful to you.
Posted by gardenergirl on February 20, 2005, at 6:37:09
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
Miss Honey,
I'm so happy for you that you have made this appointment. It sounds like you have made leaps and bounds of progress! Good for you!I'm glad you got referrals from trusted people about an OB/GYN who they like. I think that's very helpful. I did that when I moved a few years ago, and I love my doc! She's great. If yours is anything like mine, she will be glad to ease your fears, even if that means talking to your T. Sure, logistically it could be rough. But maybe they can set a time when they are both free to talk.
And you probably know this, but your OB/GYN should meet with you in her office prior to the exam. If this is not their routine, ASK for it! It really helps to meet her when you are both dressed and in equal positions. You can talk to her about your fears then, not when you are already in a vulnerable feeling position.
Good luck. This is a big step. Good for you!
gg
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 9:44:54
In reply to More Trouble Than It's Worth?, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 18, 2005, at 10:18:22
You guys totally convinced me to let this happen. Thank you so much! It is especially helpful to hear from those who have worked with physicians and who know something like this is not a big deal, but even preferable. It is also nice to hear from people who remind me that I am indeed worth the trouble.
Here is my question. Do I try to contact the OBGYN? To tell her to expect a call from my T and ask what a good time would be? How does this work? I think if my T just called randomnly it might be awkward.
Posted by 10derHeart on February 22, 2005, at 13:24:35
In reply to Thanks everyone and another question, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 9:44:54
Miss Honey,
Since your T. did offer to do this, could you just ask him/her (I can't recall which yours is)at your next session if that would be helpful for you to do?
In any case, maybe try not to worry too much about what is awkward between these folks. They are professionals, and should be able to deal with each other's phone calls, phone tag. etc. I didn't mean that to sound rude - considering your intense feelings around this whole appt., if I were in your shoes I'd be worrying about everything, too!
And Miss Honey, I wasn't able to respond earlier, but I'm proud of you. You are so brave. This is so important to do and I KNOW you can do it. For about 2 years, I developed a phobia around dentists (and I mean FAR worse than the average person). I could still go - just barely -but blood pressure would skyrocket and all kinds of physical/emotional symptoms would manifest. It was quite awful, actually. I got COMPLETELY over it with the help of 2 wonderful T's and an equally kind and caring dentist. I still see the dentist. He now compliments me on my peace of mind and says it's like I'm a new person. It's a good feeling of mastery.
I know what you're suffering is lots worse than my temporary phobia. Just wanted to say I've had a taste of how crippling that can be, and am on the other side now. Where you, too, WILL be one day! Just take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself.
I'm excited for you just knowing you're planning this major step. Go, Miss Honey, go!
-- 10derHeart (your cheerleader today :-))
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 13:35:32
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone and another question » Miss Honeychurch, posted by 10derHeart on February 22, 2005, at 13:24:35
10derheart,
Thanks for the pep talk! It of course does not sound rude at all, only completely reasonable. These people ARE professionals afterall and can handle things like phonecalls. It seems I like to give myself things to worry about. I am worldclass at that.
I suppose my main worry was that because this OBGYN doesn't know me at all, why would she take the time to hear from my shrink. But you all have helped me see that her hearing from my shrink would be a good thing. I have a hard time believing in the kindness of strangers (except Babblers of course!)
Posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 13:37:53
In reply to Thanks everyone and another question, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 9:44:54
Maybe it's just me, but I would let your T handle it, since your T has offered. Why I say this is because if you call the OBGYN's office you will likely have to relay your message through an assistant/secretary, and this is a private matter between you and the doctor. So, unless you can be assured of being able to speak directly with the doctor, I would be inclined to let your T initiate the call/discussion to break the ice in advance of your appointment. Maybe I am off base here, I guess I just find it difficult myself at times having to go through an assistant with a sensitive issue I need to discuss with the doc.
You're doing great! Take care.
Tamara
> You guys totally convinced me to let this happen. Thank you so much! It is especially helpful to hear from those who have worked with physicians and who know something like this is not a big deal, but even preferable. It is also nice to hear from people who remind me that I am indeed worth the trouble.
>
> Here is my question. Do I try to contact the OBGYN? To tell her to expect a call from my T and ask what a good time would be? How does this work? I think if my T just called randomnly it might be awkward.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 13:45:20
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone and another question » Miss Honeychurch, posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 13:37:53
That sounds GREAT to me, Tamara! I was dreading the whole receptionist thing, thinking the person on the other line might not really understand what I needed. Like 10derheart said, these people are professionals and know how to handle these things.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 14:10:22
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone and another question, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 22, 2005, at 13:45:20
Posted by Speaker on February 22, 2005, at 20:23:55
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone and another question » Miss Honeychurch, posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 13:37:53
I think its best to let the T handle it! If your T calls the receptionist will put the T right through as a professional courtsey (as T's don't call Dr.s just to chat). Your T will probably state that a pt. of his/hers will be making/has an appt. in the near future and here is what is going on with her...! Just sit back and let your T take care of you :). That's what you pay them for is to help you work through these difficult situations until it becomes easier for you. Take care of yourself.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 25, 2005, at 8:54:14
In reply to Re: Thanks everyone and another question, posted by Speaker on February 22, 2005, at 20:23:55
That is EXACTLY what I pay them for! I feel so much better about this whole thing. Thanks for the support!
This is the end of the thread.
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