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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:14:12
do any of you remember the website for help. i think the group is called samaritan?? a hotline/email for suicidal help.
please.
b2c.
Posted by rubenstein on February 21, 2005, at 12:20:53
In reply to **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:14:12
Hi
I hope you are okay here is what I ahve found
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm
1-800-suicide
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/index.html
I will be here for a little while longer if you want to talk
rubenstein
Posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:32:22
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by rubenstein on February 21, 2005, at 12:20:53
r.
can't thank you enough. i need to call/email them now. i dropped like a bomb this weekend. i have it all planned. i'm ready. somehow i must still have some doubts though, i just can't call my pdoc-i don't want to go to the hospital at least not yet. i have a feeling i may go this weekend. that''s when it's set for and i think the only way i'll be safe is if i'm there...:(
-a stronger part of me doesn't want help and that's why i don't want to call pdoc and i'm afraid it will only grow stronger through the week. i need to talk now, while i'm still a little weak.
just...
thank you.
b2c.
Posted by rubenstein on February 21, 2005, at 12:40:21
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:32:22
please call someone
I have been there and I know how hard it is to not go through with what you might think would be easier.
There is help
it is hard and not easy
but who knows what may happen in a day, an hour, or even a minute
I hate giving this advive because it is like the pot calling the kettle black
Do what you need to do to get better
if that is calling your p-doc
do it!
you deserve to get better
you deserve to live
please take care of yourself
I will be thinking of you
Rachel
Posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:57:52
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by rubenstein on February 21, 2005, at 12:40:21
you are so right. it's not easy.
part of me is scared about this weekend but the other part is SOOO relieved i've finally made a decision that i will accomplish.
-i've just emailed samaratin's.
i think that the further the week goes the more 'assured' i'll be. so maybe i should call pdoc. but i feel...feel like a big baby crying wolf..calling and saying 'i'll do it i swear'. but he did say to call.
one thing is i trust him very much, and i know i won't miss our friday appointment. as of now i have full intention of telling him on friday what my 'plan' is. but...what if by then i'm so sure that i don't??
i'm in such a dither, i can't concentrate on work. all i think is that this is the last monday i'll have (and sad as it is i feel good about that). i'm Finally ready, it seems like everything has fallen into place for this 'plan'.
-i just realized this conversation is not heading in a good place.
i apologize to anyone and don't mean to scare or hurt upset anyone.i emailed 'jo'. and can only hope for some type of advice from them. can't decide if i want to even to to T appt. wed.
-but i just love my pdoc so much, be assured i will NOT cancel my appt with him and Will see him on friday.thank you very much R.
i'm taking it minute by minute.God thank you for being here.
b2c.
Posted by lonelygal2 on February 21, 2005, at 13:09:04
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:57:52
awww.. i hope you are able to talk to someone. i'm worried about you.
please take care of yourself.
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 13:13:34
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:32:22
Please take care of yourself!
(((B2chica)))
Posted by partlycloudy on February 21, 2005, at 13:17:31
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:57:52
B2c, I'm here too. I just don't want you to feel you're alone. Asking for help is a very difficult thing to do at the best of times. You aren't crying wolf when you're so close to carrying out or formulating a plan.
Have you heard back from the samaritan site?
pc
Posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 13:26:58
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please » B2chica, posted by partlycloudy on February 21, 2005, at 13:17:31
i haven't heard back. the website said it could take up to 24 hours. i know i'm not a threat to myself right now. the 27th. the plan is 99% effective/can be followed through (i always leave 1% room for the unknown).
i think anger is taking over right now. i'm mad at the 'crying' me. it's time to stop. enough is enough already.
i thank you for caring.
i'm afraid that my posts from here on out will be just too triggering and bad for this site. i want NOONE to follow in my footsteps! so i think it best that i set babble aside (at least for today).
remember, i have a plan that i won't deviate from-at least the part about not doing anything this week and i WILL see my pdoc on friday i can assure you all that.
i truly thank you for caring....ps. i love you all here.
thank you.
b2c.> B2c, I'm here too. I just don't want you to feel you're alone. Asking for help is a very difficult thing to do at the best of times. You aren't crying wolf when you're so close to carrying out or formulating a plan.
> Have you heard back from the samaritan site?
> pc
Posted by TamaraJ on February 21, 2005, at 13:35:30
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 13:26:58
Please do whatever you have to do to keep yourself safe. And, remember, you have friends here who care.
My thoughts are with you.
Tamara
Posted by littleone on February 21, 2005, at 14:36:07
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:57:52
> as of now i have full intention of telling him on friday what my 'plan' is. but...what if by then i'm so sure that i don't??
You could mail him a letter now while you have intentions of telling him. Once the letter is gone, it doesn't matter how much you change your mind, he'll still know.
Please take good care of yourself. I like seeing you around here.
Posted by mair on February 21, 2005, at 14:47:20
In reply to **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:14:12
If you have to have a plan, I'm so glad you have one that involves meeting with your pdoc first, and presumably being totally honest with him about your plans.
Someone here wrote that given the fact that suicide is irrevocable and the most important decision anyone could ever make, it deserves a great deal of deliberation. I always try to remember that when I'm feeling impulsively suicidal.
Please stay connected here.
Mair
Posted by Susan47 on February 21, 2005, at 16:21:12
In reply to Re: **Urgent...please, posted by B2chica on February 21, 2005, at 12:32:22
Keep posting to this thread B2C, even if part of you says it's too much of a triger for anyone else. Look, there, I've put it here for you so don't worry just keep using the subject line, it's okay. People who are triggered will stay away. Believe that and keep posting, okay? We want to hear from you, we care about you. (((B2Chica)))
Posted by jasmineneroli on February 21, 2005, at 18:49:20
In reply to **Trigger**, this thread, posted by Susan47 on February 21, 2005, at 16:21:12
B2C, Susan is absolutely right!
Keep posting here, especially as your feelings change. You will need feedback every step of the way to that Fri. Pdoc app't.
And I second the motion to email your thoughts and intentions to your Pdoc. He needs to know what's been going on in your head & heart this week. Maybe you could email your posts to him.
And, just a thought, but maybe your "weak" side, is really your strong side (the will to survive, that makes humans so amazing, as you are amazing).Take good care,
Warm wishes,
Jas
Posted by gardenergirl on February 21, 2005, at 19:06:39
In reply to Re: **Trigger**, this thread, posted by jasmineneroli on February 21, 2005, at 18:49:20
B2C,
Yes, I agree, please keep posting here. The trigger warning is adequate. We can also warn away those who are most apt to be triggered. It's nice that you are thinking of others in this time that is so difficult for you.Please please please do whatever is necessary to let your pdoc know. If you are afraid you may change your mind on Friday, tell him now!
Please be proactive about this. I know what you went through in that facility was horrible. If you can work WITH your pdoc as part of the team, you can have some say in the kind of help you get.
And you need to get help. I have always heard how determined you were around this date you picked out. Please talk about what's going on. Why this particular date? Who else can you talk to? I know you don't want your husband to know, but please think about how he will feel after.
I work with a couple of clients who lost loved ones to suicide recently. I can't tell you how devastated they are. I have some sense, but I can't really understand their grief. And someone I know who is a survivor of many years will tell you that the pain never ever goes away. Suicide is a selfish act. I'm sorry if that hurts. But it is.
Please be take care of yourself. I know it's so hard now. It may seem impossible. But you will not regret it. I promise you that.
With much caring and concern,
gg
Posted by mair on February 21, 2005, at 22:07:55
In reply to **Trigger**, this thread, posted by Susan47 on February 21, 2005, at 16:21:12
Susan - that was so nicely put and thoughtful.
Mair
This is the end of the thread.
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