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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 13:56:03
So I have this ongoing saga (as I like to call it) with my MIL. She's the most difficult person I've ever known. I'm angry with her more often than not. I'm very aware that anger is likely masking some other feeling. Even knowing that, I can't seem to see past the anger. I spent my whole session on this and I kind of got the sense that my T was getting frustrated with me(wouldn't be the first time). I really was trying to filter the anger and figure out what it was really about. No luck with that.
My T was coming at me with the "where do you feel that in your body" stuff, which I had no reply for either. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any techniques for figuring out what's UNDER the anger?
Posted by pinkeye on January 25, 2005, at 15:09:52
In reply to The anger filter, posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 13:56:03
Visualization helps perhaps. When you are calm - best done at early morning or late night, try to visualize her and see what you really are feeling?
Posted by Annierose on January 25, 2005, at 15:30:51
In reply to The anger filter, posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 13:56:03
Does she remind you of somebody?
If you quickly had to give an answer, who would that person be?
Posted by smokeymadison on January 25, 2005, at 16:16:27
In reply to Re: The anger filter, posted by Annierose on January 25, 2005, at 15:30:51
i have problems holding anger in and not expressing it. i found this past week that when i talked with my T about the anger and then talked with the person i was angry with (my boyfriend), i felt more love than i had felt for him in a long time. it was really quite amazing the difference in how i felt. i think that you really need to talk to the person you are angry with or if you can't, write them a letter and tear it up. just get the feelings out in the open. good luck!
SM
Posted by Shortelise on January 25, 2005, at 17:52:19
In reply to The anger filter, posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 13:56:03
role playing maybe?
ShortE
Posted by Daisym on January 25, 2005, at 20:48:31
In reply to Re: The anger filter » thewrite1, posted by Shortelise on January 25, 2005, at 17:52:19
My therapist would probably ask you to describe yourself, being her. Use her words, her mannerisms, etc. (I guess this is like role play, as suggested before.) The idea being to see if you feel criticized by her, what does it look like to you and if you feel she "one ups you" etc. what does that look like.
btw -- sometimes anger is just anger. And some people deserve it. I have worked with a person for years who pushes all of my buttons and I tried working on my responses, then I tried working on humor and I tried very hard to see who she reminded me of. Even after all of that and a high awareness of my own "stuff" -- she still drove me crazy. My therapist loves hearing stories about her because he has labeled her as the most blissfully unaware narcissistic personality he has run across in a long time. Finally he told me, "stop feeling guilty for your anger and intense dislike. She's a b**ch and you know it!" God That Made Me Feel Better!
:)
Posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 23:49:45
In reply to Re: The anger filter, posted by Annierose on January 25, 2005, at 15:30:51
If I had to give a quick answer, I'd say my dad.
Posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 23:52:09
In reply to Re: The anger filter, posted by Daisym on January 25, 2005, at 20:48:31
I'm starting to think that may be the case here. She's just a loon and that's it.
I like your idea for the role play, though. Maybe I'll bring that up to my T. Thanks!
Posted by thewrite1 on January 25, 2005, at 23:53:26
In reply to Re: The anger filter, posted by pinkeye on January 25, 2005, at 15:09:52
I've tried that a usually I just end up visualizing my hands around her neck. :-) Thanks for the suggestion, though.
This is the end of the thread.
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