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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:12:27
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 19:21:38
That really sounds awful, I am sorry to hear it didn't work out. Do you have another one?
I am definately frustrated, I don't know wether the relationship is good or not?? But sometimes recently I have said things that I know my T will not know or would need clarification and I am not asked for clarification. hmmm...that is leading me to believe Im am only being half listened to. but on one level I think the relationship is good becaseu it is so distant OMG! i am driving myself crazy. But I agree with you, if it doesn't seem right then im wasting my time. I have spent so much time analizing this that I should get refunded LOL.
thanks for your support.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 19:12:14
> am still thinking at least give him say 3 more sessions and tell him point blank you FEEL <stress that word> like he is brushing the issues you want to work on aside...scary sounding but its easy once youre thinking hey I am paying for this :)
scary is an understatement! Oh I am dreading this but it needs to be done. :(
>Sometimes T's see danger for the client and want to feel around before they jump back in on that topic as not to overwhelme you but sometimes too it is there own issues....so please ask why you two have not been back to that.
Ok my theory (just wanted to share) is that my T doesn't want the responsibilty of a patient who is not stable. I think I got kindof iffy emotionally after talking about my *stuff* and I think It took a little more time thatn our scheduled session out of my T or something. I am going to investigate this further cause I really hope Im wrong. But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
>BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOL
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 22:27:26
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:12:27
Well, you mentioned not being fully listened to, I mean saying things that need clarification and none is asked for. My therapist struck me exactly that way, too.
In the end I believe he thought he knew more than he did.
Good luck with yours.
I hope you have a successful outcome.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 22:27:26
>Well, you mentioned not being fully listened to, I mean saying things that need clarification and none is asked for. My therapist struck me exactly that way, too
Really? Did he sit there 'suposedly' listening and not offer much back?
mine just kind of sits there and then when a topic of interest comes up becomes more alert.
does taht sound familar?
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:35:52
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
FOrgot to add that when my T seems uncomfortable or at a loss for words will say soemthing that sounds like it came out a textbook for standard psychology lines. something like, "so how does that make you feel" After I just said how I @#@#@# felt. Or "that *is* a problem", ummm noooo really?
just thought id add on
Posted by Susan47 on January 11, 2005, at 23:32:08
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Susan47, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:30:51
Yes.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
I just got back from ER sorry so late...ok here is what I think please ask him ...cause he must have all kinds of clients and we all..ALL think we are their worst or neediest or so on....some T's like mine never tell you to call they wait for YOU to ask or they THINK they told you that I am unsure of but whats the worse that can happen you will fire him right? The best is he may say I was waiting on you to bring it back up and yes please call me if you need to....T's go into the biz knowing they will see and hear it ALL ...Keep us posted and babble me if ya need to talk
HUGS
> > am still thinking at least give him say 3 more sessions and tell him point blank you FEEL <stress that word> like he is brushing the issues you want to work on aside...scary sounding but its easy once youre thinking hey I am paying for this :)
>
> scary is an understatement! Oh I am dreading this but it needs to be done. :(
>
> >Sometimes T's see danger for the client and want to feel around before they jump back in on that topic as not to overwhelme you but sometimes too it is there own issues....so please ask why you two have not been back to that.
>
> Ok my theory (just wanted to share) is that my T doesn't want the responsibilty of a patient who is not stable. I think I got kindof iffy emotionally after talking about my *stuff* and I think It took a little more time thatn our scheduled session out of my T or something. I am going to investigate this further cause I really hope Im wrong. But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
>
> >BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
>
> OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOL
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:11:20
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
>I just got back from ER sorry so late
are you ok?
the phone call thing was already answered without me actually asking, i think? let me know what you think.
My T said early on I am not available outside of office hours, I don't check my messages regularly so if you need something urgent go to the hospital.At the time i thought absolutlely nothing of it as I wasn't expecting to have any serious problems. And I havent really...its just the feeling that i get that my T is thinking -ok it is over, i spent my 45 min with you and now im off duty. As I wrote it just now I realize how cold it sounds, yuck! maybe i don't want to be with this person??
Teh other thing that may be kindof important here is that I think my T is very new and only seems to works part time. SSo It could be a major lack of experience. I don't really have much info on my T.
rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:20:25
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
Just wanted to add...Thank you so much for helping me work this out...Just writing about it is putting it in a different persective.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:57
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 0:03:23
I meant to ask before, what does babble me mean?
Posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2005, at 11:35:26
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 11, 2005, at 22:21:27
> But I never hear call me if you need to or are you ok?
Some T's actually have more rigid beliefs about phone calls. You might consider asking what your T's policy is. And asking if you are okay...well, maybe they rely on your self-report? There are really so many styles of doing therapy. Combine that with different personalities, and who knows what is going in T's lives, and I suppose there are infinite combinations for how a therapist might do therapy.
>
> >BTW, you cannot drive ME anywhere I am already at hahahahaha....
>
> OMG ME TOO! I knew I saw you at the starbucks tehre! I just knew it. LOLI just had a brilliant idea. How about a Starbucks within the therapy clinics? Or therapy at Starbucks? Just have a little waiting area that's not so public...and then a little room with the couches and plush chairs and the coffee...Oooooo, the coffee!
I'll have to write a business plan for this. ;)
gg
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 12:17:22
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2005, at 11:35:26
>There are really so many styles of doing therapy. Combine that with different personalities, and who knows what is going in T's lives, and I suppose there are infinite combinations for how a therapist might do therapy.
You're right. You know I think that is what it is, I think My T didn't really want to have a practice with very needy patients rather ones who are having minor issues. that is why I started, not really any big problems at least it appeared that way.
And in reality I am not very needy (except here :-) ) I just started feeling like I had a crappy T after reading about good ones. It is just nice to feel that there is something btwn you an your T. I am going to feel it out next appointment.>I just had a brilliant idea. How about a Starbucks within the therapy clinics? Or therapy at Starbucks? Just have a little waiting area that's not so public...and then a little room with the couches and plush chairs and the coffee...Oooooo, the coffee!
OMG!! I think you have hit on something. I really like that idea.
Posted by antigua on January 12, 2005, at 15:10:15
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » gardenergirl, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 12:17:22
rainbow brite, I'm not trying to offend you or anything so if you don't like what I have to say, please just blow it off.
Some Ts mirror the patient's behavior. Sometimes mine stumbles when she mirrors the wrong thing back to me and I call her on it. It often leads to great conversations, though.
Is there a chance that you're projecting your feelings onto her? Do you have a past relationship/relationships that seem familiar to this? Where you've been frustrated and angry because you couldn't say what you wanted to say?
Just a thought. Being honest and direct w/her (him?) is the only way to know. Even if you don't end up staying w/them, it will help you understand yourself better. Please try, it may be a huge step, or you may need to find another T.
good luck,
antigua
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 15:48:35
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage!, posted by antigua on January 12, 2005, at 15:10:15
no offence taken.
I think it is possible. I was very into baundries initially (i needed to have a T that wouldn't cross into my safety zone). Maybe after I crossed it by sharing info I took my T off guard and my initial presentation compared with how i am now are hard to read.
Tehre is nothing really familar to me about my T, that I am aware of...hmmm interesting thought though.
It all sounds like it is coming down to the response I was dreading the most....talk about it!! This really shouldn't be so hard. I think it is becasue i started one way and have ended up quite a bit more vulnerable than I presented.
Thanks for you thoughts.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 16:37:49
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » antigua, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 15:48:35
I think that is true for a good number of us. I think if you took a poll, many of us in long term therapy started out as short term mainly CBT clients who presented as having relatively easy to treat run of the mill therapy seeking conditions. Now we tend to think we tricked our therapists into something they weren't prepared for. I'm not saying that's true (although I think it's true in my case), I'm just saying it's a not uncommon thought.
Posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:08:45
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » antigua, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 15:48:35
I want to second what Dinah said. If you met me, never in a million years would you "see" what is seen in therapy...or here on the board. I'm SOOOO together. *sigh*
I went into therapy with complaints of feeling sad and overwhelmed. I thought it was a midlife crisis coupled with my husband's illness. And that is what we worked on for 7 months...once per week, etc. I don't think I told him about much more pain than a hang nail. Then we happened onto a weird conversation about hugs and how touchy/feely the people I work with are. And I said I didn't like to be hugged. He didn't ask "why not?" And I got so upset with him for not asking that question! All these years of keeping things secret and bam...I just needed to tell. A year later I'm a mess, I'm a clingy client and he says it is totally OK, this is what he does best anyway.
Can we agree that therapy is like a box of chocolates? You never know what you are going to get!
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 19:26:13
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 16:37:49
It sounds like it is very possible. I know I did a good job of coming accross VERY put together. And mine definately started as short-term therapy.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 19:29:03
In reply to Initial presentations » rainbowbrite, posted by daisym on January 12, 2005, at 19:08:45
This sounds very familar! sounds like me. Im startin gto feel better about this situation and my T is starting to sound like a chocolate covered nut!
>Can we agree that therapy is like a box of chocolates? You never know what you are going to get!
absolutely!
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 1:27:09
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:57:57
I almost missed this sorry...babble me is my shorthand for babblemail me...if you do not know what babblemail is see the FAQ'S you can write one another like email but private :)
> I meant to ask before, what does babble me mean?
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 1:36:15
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 12, 2005, at 9:11:20
AWWW thank you for asking I am semi OK I had some minor surgery today and am resting now...was just on and off the puter most of late last night and tonight so I am trying to catch up....
I do not think I personally would like a T who did not take ANY emergency after hour calls..mine does but also I had his home number and cell and emails and all...How do you feel on this not being able to talk in a tight situation??? If she said just suicide calls I could see in a WAY cause they have HAVE to call ER or 911 if you are a threat to yourself but say you are just freaking out and or wanna cut or having an anxiety attack..seems it would be cool to have someone to call not run to ER to say...HEY I AM HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK....Now some people do not need to call a T after hours but I sense this doesnt sit well with you as well as the thinking the T is just doing her job and thats all....Odd as this sounds can you maybe T shop while seeing her? You if you can afford it can meet and interview T's and see if their style is more like you want and need???? Just an idea here...SORRY I am so late and behind ..HUGS> >I just got back from ER sorry so late
>
> are you ok?
>
>
> the phone call thing was already answered without me actually asking, i think? let me know what you think.
> My T said early on I am not available outside of office hours, I don't check my messages regularly so if you need something urgent go to the hospital.
>
> At the time i thought absolutlely nothing of it as I wasn't expecting to have any serious problems. And I havent really...its just the feeling that i get that my T is thinking -ok it is over, i spent my 45 min with you and now im off duty. As I wrote it just now I realize how cold it sounds, yuck! maybe i don't want to be with this person??
>
> Teh other thing that may be kindof important here is that I think my T is very new and only seems to works part time. SSo It could be a major lack of experience. I don't really have much info on my T.
>
> rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 13, 2005, at 7:53:50
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 1:36:15
I hope you are feeling ok. I hate surgery minor or major :)
I can't really doc shop, too time consuming, emotional and expensive.
If i leave my T I think I leave tehrapy, it is too draining. i have never experienced this stressing about it before and i don't like it. my T is not important enopugh, that said, i want to be with someone who is good at what they do and invested in me. so maybe not important is wrong to say.
I don't self harm, but at the times when i feel really bad i would like to know that my T cares, you know? Like ask me after session if i am ok if it has beeen tough or deemphasize the initial rules. I don't think i would ever call if i was anxious because it feels weird to do for me but that isn't what is important it is the feeling your T is suposed to give you that they do care. did that make any sense? My T is definatly not my ideal tehrapist, at my next appointmetn i am going to say something, I just haven't figured out what yet. I need to be very subtle about it becaseu i don't think i can be that direct with my T :(. OMG! this is a hard one, Actually I would like to ask if my T is supervised but how??
how much do Ts usually cost? is there an average?
Thanks so much for your help, i really appreciate it and thanks for the hug :).
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 17:28:22
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 13, 2005, at 7:53:50
Hey ya :) I am so so but thank you ...On the T issue I do kinda get the feeling you arent into this T...BUT you can for free call clinics and inquire about issues like phone calls what their area of expertise is ....and get a feel for what that T is basically about.....Shop at tad by phone or online ...You may really benefir from the right T...I hope you do not totally give up don't let one missmatch spoil the whole thing for you...and you are welcome...T prices vary on their education , if a clinic or not, where in country and state...greedy hahaha j/j and so much ....most seem to be around 125 an hour around here.
> I hope you are feeling ok. I hate surgery minor or major :)
>
> I can't really doc shop, too time consuming, emotional and expensive.
>
> If i leave my T I think I leave tehrapy, it is too draining. i have never experienced this stressing about it before and i don't like it. my T is not important enopugh, that said, i want to be with someone who is good at what they do and invested in me. so maybe not important is wrong to say.
>
> I don't self harm, but at the times when i feel really bad i would like to know that my T cares, you know? Like ask me after session if i am ok if it has beeen tough or deemphasize the initial rules. I don't think i would ever call if i was anxious because it feels weird to do for me but that isn't what is important it is the feeling your T is suposed to give you that they do care. did that make any sense? My T is definatly not my ideal tehrapist, at my next appointmetn i am going to say something, I just haven't figured out what yet. I need to be very subtle about it becaseu i don't think i can be that direct with my T :(. OMG! this is a hard one, Actually I would like to ask if my T is supervised but how??
> how much do Ts usually cost? is there an average?
> Thanks so much for your help, i really appreciate it and thanks for the hug :).
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 13, 2005, at 21:14:18
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 17:28:22
Hey,
I hadn't thought about calling around. That is an idea. I think you made a good point about checking area of expertise, I think that could be where my problem is. I am going to attempt to discuss it in therapy, only it isn't until late next week. I am just going to say point blank, "this is what I want to discuss and I need your help with it". If I don't get a interested attentive response back I quit. But I will check out other places. I feel better knowing that my T isn't especially high in cost- $100. Still alot though.
Hopefully I can do what I planned. I guess initially I hadn't thought about the fact that a therapist is such a personal choice, to me it was just a T and that is it. Like a T is a T is a T. But that isn't the way it works for sure! It seems people really work to find a perfect match, I didn't. I took the first I found. Im hoping I can work it out, because it is so draining.
just curious, have you ever questioned whether therapy is more of a nusence/complication than a help? that is sort of where I been recently.
> Hey ya :) I am so so but thank you ...On the T issue I do kinda get the feeling you arent into this T...BUT you can for free call clinics and inquire about issues like phone calls what their area of expertise is ....and get a feel for what that T is basically about.....Shop at tad by phone or online ...You may really benefir from the right T...I hope you do not totally give up don't let one missmatch spoil the whole thing for you...and you are welcome...T prices vary on their education , if a clinic or not, where in country and state...greedy hahaha j/j and so much ....most seem to be around 125 an hour around here.
>
> > I hope you are feeling ok. I hate surgery minor or major :)
> >
> > I can't really doc shop, too time consuming, emotional and expensive.
> >
> > If i leave my T I think I leave tehrapy, it is too draining. i have never experienced this stressing about it before and i don't like it. my T is not important enopugh, that said, i want to be with someone who is good at what they do and invested in me. so maybe not important is wrong to say.
> >
> > I don't self harm, but at the times when i feel really bad i would like to know that my T cares, you know? Like ask me after session if i am ok if it has beeen tough or deemphasize the initial rules. I don't think i would ever call if i was anxious because it feels weird to do for me but that isn't what is important it is the feeling your T is suposed to give you that they do care. did that make any sense? My T is definatly not my ideal tehrapist, at my next appointmetn i am going to say something, I just haven't figured out what yet. I need to be very subtle about it becaseu i don't think i can be that direct with my T :(. OMG! this is a hard one, Actually I would like to ask if my T is supervised but how??
> > how much do Ts usually cost? is there an average?
> > Thanks so much for your help, i really appreciate it and thanks for the hug :).
>
>
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 23:12:49
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » Fallen4MyT, posted by rainbowbrite on January 13, 2005, at 21:14:18
Yo!!! :) yes I have questioned if therapy was more of a pain in the behind than a help and all...I waxed and wanned for a while with both my T's and a PDOC....On the T's I have long come to the conclusion that they were a HUGE help AFTER hard and good times...On my PDOC I fired her and that was the BEST choice I could make..BTW IF you get rid of a T FIRE them hahaha it makes you feel a lot better and you ARE in control :) I am way glad you are gonna talk with her and give it a final shot.
HUGS ...a week away seems a long time I bet
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 14, 2005, at 11:27:01
In reply to Re: Therapy Rage! » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on January 13, 2005, at 23:12:49
Hey
I have biweekly therapy. It is a long time in between especially if i have stuff to talk about.
And when the time comes I will definatey say "your fired!" hehe. I can imagine it feels really good. :)
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