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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:27:06
Or is it just something psychiatrists made up to make themselves feel better if their clients hated them? I really need to know. Because
a lot of times I attribute my disliking of my therapist to transference, but if there's no such thing...maybe my therapist and I just don't click. Is that a good reason to leave your therapist? She has given me good advice in the past. But sometimes I feel so numb after session...so unstimulated, uncreative, unmotivated. What is therapy supposed to be like? Responses would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 11, 2005, at 16:45:23
In reply to Is there such thing as negative Transference? or.., posted by Angela2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:27:06
Yes you may just dislike your T at times and yes there is also transferance that is not always positive and thus negative. This may be something you may want to discuss with your T . You can also google negative transferance...good luck with it ..and again a cigar is sometimes just a cigar so you may just dislike a lot of his behaviours :) for good reason
> Or is it just something psychiatrists made up to make themselves feel better if their clients hated them? I really need to know. Because
> a lot of times I attribute my disliking of my therapist to transference, but if there's no such thing...maybe my therapist and I just don't click. Is that a good reason to leave your therapist? She has given me good advice in the past. But sometimes I feel so numb after session...so unstimulated, uncreative, unmotivated. What is therapy supposed to be like? Responses would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:04:40
In reply to Is there such thing as negative Transference? or.., posted by Angela2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:27:06
It's an easy out for them isn't it? Ohh, nothing is my fault. I'm the healthy one. It's the client's negative transference. Quite irrational.
Pooh.
If you find yourself reacting in a similar way to different people, like if you think therapists are *always* this or *always* that, you might want to consider transference. If you think about your reaction, and see that it doesn't much fit with reality, you might want to consider transference.
If your therapist is a jerk, your therapist is a jerk.
Posted by anastasia56 on January 11, 2005, at 21:51:41
In reply to Is there such thing as negative Transference? or.., posted by Angela2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:27:06
in response to the question about 'is not clicking a good reason to leave your therapist?'
My therapist addresses my issues with concrete suggestions...not that i think she has to have the answers to everything (but she does walk on water to me) but i tend to view my problems negatively as if there is no way out and she always seems to find one. Our sessions are incredibly energizing and I always leave her office feeling optimistic and decidedly upbeat. That is part of the reason i see her...not just for the answers but also for the feeling i have when we are done with our session.there is no utopia charlie brown...but there is perhaps a better therapist.
Posted by Shortelise on January 12, 2005, at 1:19:48
In reply to Is there such thing as negative Transference? or.., posted by Angela2 on January 11, 2005, at 16:27:06
Hello Angela
You obviously have already gathered that there *is* negative transference.
But there are also things we will like and dislike about them. The same of everyone else in the world.
I went through times when I hated my T, but really I was hating myself and projecting on him my horrible opinion of myself.
All of that said, if you talk about these things with her, it might turn out that you are not suited to each other. Especially if she doesn't respond to the subject in a way that you feel ok about.
I have certainly been in a funk after many sessions.
I believe that talking about it between the two of you is the only way to determine if your discomfort is a part of the process, or if you should be working with a different therapist.
I hope you can work this out soon.
ShortE
Posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 10:22:13
In reply to Yup » Angela2, posted by Shortelise on January 12, 2005, at 1:19:48
Yes. I will talk to her about it. I can see her saying something like "this is probably how you feel in other relationships too" or I can see her make it seem like it's about MY problems. But I will try anyway. Thanks!
Posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2005, at 11:37:22
In reply to I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 10:22:13
Good for you! That takes courage.
Good luck in your next session and let us know how it goes.
gg
Posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 14:39:45
In reply to I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 10:22:13
I can *sometimes* identify when transference is involved because the magnitude of my emotions is out of line. There are times when I feel like my reaction is in line with reality (i.e. I am angry about something he has said), but the size of the reaction (OK, what he said was not the best - so I should be annoyed with him - but instead I am enraged) is unreasonable.
There are also times when I feel that my reaction is quite reasonable, but as we talk about it I find out that my perception of the incident is different from his. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that he's right and I'm wrong. He can be wrong, too. But he will give alternate explanations for his actions - and I have to "consider the possibility" that his explanation is closer to reality than mine.
The starkest realization came when I changed therapists. My old therapist was angry and disappointed in me - nothing I did was right or good enough. Within 6 weeks, I was in exactly the same state with my new therapist. Even I had to admit that the common thread had to be me!
Talking about these things with your therapist is incredibly hard. For me, it feels like I am always complaining, or accusing. And sometimes it seems like he has a hard time with my accusations. But we *both* keep trying to take my version of the truth and his version of the truth and try to put them together to find out what **really** happened. And that helps me learn about my filters.
What kind of therapy does your therapist do?
Posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 14:55:50
In reply to Re: I will talk to her » Angela2, posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 14:39:45
fallsfall,
I'm not sure what kind of therapy she does. She's my t and my p doc. I guess a little bit of everything. Not CBT...not emct (or what ever the heck it is), not psychotherapy, although now I'm beginning to wonder with her unconscious motivation thing.
It's funny, I am always checking PB posts, but sometimes I feel like I'm checking it too much? I don't know. Like my mind isn't really on psychology or therapy anymore but I keep checking posts. I am really glad to talk with you people though.
You seem like a kind person. It is nice talking to you.
-Angela
Posted by Shortelise on January 12, 2005, at 15:28:13
In reply to I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 10:22:13
Angela, if she says that, respond! Tell her you don't agree, tell her how you feel.
If you feel she is unwilling to take criticism, tell her. If you feel she takes your reaction to her persoanlly, tell her! Whatever it is you think and feel, tell her, even if it is "critical" of her, even if it is unflattering to her. Part of her job is to know how to handle all manner of repsonses from her clients.
And again, if you feel her responses are not satisfactory, you really do have the option of finding a different therapist.
Could it be the kind of therapy she practices that doesn't suit you?
ShortE
Posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 15:39:49
In reply to Re: I will talk to her » fallsfall, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 14:55:50
> fallsfall,
>
> I'm not sure what kind of therapy she does. She's my t and my p doc. I guess a little bit of everything. Not CBT...not emct (or what ever the heck it is), not psychotherapy, although now I'm beginning to wonder with her unconscious motivation thing.
>
> It's funny, I am always checking PB posts, but sometimes I feel like I'm checking it too much? I don't know. Like my mind isn't really on psychology or therapy anymore but I keep checking posts. I am really glad to talk with you people though.I don't know if this makes sense. I'm sorry. Sometimes I think I'm just looking for pleasure anywhere I can get it from, even if it's just checking this site, or email. I don't know if that's normal, or how many other people do it. It's just something I'm noticing. Sometimes I feel like I'm tired of psychology. But I come here anyways because I feel a positive connection here. I feel like there's something else I should be saying about it but I can't think of anything right now.
>
> You seem like a kind person. It is nice talking to you.
>
> -Angela
Posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 15:40:26
In reply to Re: I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 15:39:49
Posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 17:02:34
In reply to Re: I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 15:39:49
When things are really confusing, it can be good to talk with people who seem to at least be living in the same world as you are. That's why I come here.
Sometimes I give too much information. Usually that is because I'm just figuring it out myself, and it helps my process to write about it. So, don't feel like you need to understand or respond to (even most of) what I say. Some of it may be irrelevant for you. If my posts help at all (even if they just make you feel like someone is hearing you), then I'm glad. But I certainly don't have all (or even many) of the answers. I like your posts because they make me think. Thanks!
My rule of thumb on obsessions is that if something is keeping me from doing things I really need to do or really want to do, then I might be doing that thing too much. If it isn't getting in my way, then it isn't too much.
(Some days I talk an awful lot...)
Posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 19:45:28
In reply to Re: I will talk to her » Angela2, posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 17:02:34
> When things are really confusing, it can be good to talk with people who seem to at least be living in the same world as you are. That's why I come here.
>
> Sometimes I give too much information. Usually that is because I'm just figuring it out myself, and it helps my process to write about it. So, don't feel like you need to understand or respond to (even most of) what I say. Some of it may be irrelevant for you. If my posts help at all (even if they just make you feel like someone is hearing you), then I'm glad. But I certainly don't have all (or even many) of the answers. I like your posts because they make me think. Thanks!
>
> My rule of thumb on obsessions is that if something is keeping me from doing things I really need to do or really want to do, then I might be doing that thing too much. If it isn't getting in my way, then it isn't too much.Is it that obvious that I'm obsessed? Yeah I guess I didn't realize it but I am. It's driving me up the wall and I can't wait until it's over.
>
> (Some days I talk an awful lot...)
Posted by Angela2 on January 13, 2005, at 12:42:26
In reply to Re: I will talk to her » Angela2, posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 17:02:34
Fallsfall,
I like your posts because they make me feel a connection to you. I don't feel that with many posters here. I don't know why. Perhaps it is something psychic? The boy thinks he is psychic and believes that everybody is psychic, we just grow up into adults and don't use it, don't believe in it, etc. But he knew my middle initial. It was freaky.
-Angela
Posted by fallsfall on January 13, 2005, at 18:38:20
In reply to Re: I will talk to her » fallsfall, posted by Angela2 on January 13, 2005, at 12:42:26
Hi Angela,
You seem to talk about, or ask questions about areas that have been, or currently are, particularly important to me. So I think the connection (in both directions) is because of some shared experiences - some things that we have in common.
Glad to have you here at Babble!
Falls.
This is the end of the thread.
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