Posted by fallsfall on January 12, 2005, at 14:39:45
In reply to I will talk to her, posted by Angela2 on January 12, 2005, at 10:22:13
I can *sometimes* identify when transference is involved because the magnitude of my emotions is out of line. There are times when I feel like my reaction is in line with reality (i.e. I am angry about something he has said), but the size of the reaction (OK, what he said was not the best - so I should be annoyed with him - but instead I am enraged) is unreasonable.
There are also times when I feel that my reaction is quite reasonable, but as we talk about it I find out that my perception of the incident is different from his. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that he's right and I'm wrong. He can be wrong, too. But he will give alternate explanations for his actions - and I have to "consider the possibility" that his explanation is closer to reality than mine.
The starkest realization came when I changed therapists. My old therapist was angry and disappointed in me - nothing I did was right or good enough. Within 6 weeks, I was in exactly the same state with my new therapist. Even I had to admit that the common thread had to be me!
Talking about these things with your therapist is incredibly hard. For me, it feels like I am always complaining, or accusing. And sometimes it seems like he has a hard time with my accusations. But we *both* keep trying to take my version of the truth and his version of the truth and try to put them together to find out what **really** happened. And that helps me learn about my filters.
What kind of therapy does your therapist do?
poster:fallsfall
thread:440734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/441209.html