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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jonh kimble on January 11, 2005, at 3:01:26
For a while I thought this was very strange but now Im not so sure. Someone whos very supportive, honest, you can generally relax around. Come to think of it, they completly set themselves up to be loved in this way. In my case its more of a crush I guess, but its quite saddening that I wont see her for months if ever. (Im in uni. in FL. and shes in Canada) Oh well, story of my life. Ok off topic.
Anybody else have same experience? Is this common? Do relationships like these ever work out? thanks Tom
Posted by Crazy_Charlie on January 11, 2005, at 7:16:45
In reply to Fell in love with a girl(My therapist)Anyone else?, posted by jonh kimble on January 11, 2005, at 3:01:26
Hello
This is actually a well known problem among therapists.. we even had several classes about it when I was studying clinical psychology at the university. Of course it is easy to fall in love with your therapist... because your therapist displayes a lot of the things (espescially depressed people, and other with similar problems)that you don't get in your daily life: warmth, understanding, closeness, trusting, love, empathy... you name it.
It's not necessarily bad that you fell in love with her, the bad thing is probably that it wont go anyway. But being in love is always a healthy thing, and if you fell in love with her, I'm certain you can fall in love with someone else too. You just have to let her go, and think of her being nice to you as a part of her profession and not her as a person as such.I am a clinical psychologist myself, and I know that I give a lot more with my patients than what I do at home. Simply because my patients NEEDS it, they come to me because they need empathy and love, thereby that is a part of my treatment. But as soon as I get to know that they develope strong feelings for me, I bring it up and we discuss it. I have never fallen in love with any of my patients, but I have warm and friendly feelings for all of them, and long time after they finish I still care about them.. even though I myself do not contact them.
What you feel is absolutely normal, and even healthy, but I understand that it is tough for you.
Good luck.
CC
Posted by Joslynn on January 11, 2005, at 9:55:00
In reply to Fell in love with a girl(My therapist)Anyone else?, posted by jonh kimble on January 11, 2005, at 3:01:26
Oh gosh, this is SO incredibly common. A form of it happened to me.
You will get a lot of info if you search on this board under "transference" or maybe also try "in love with therapist." You can also search google, but start here first, you'll find all the different angles. Then try google after reading up here.
Posted by Shortelise on January 11, 2005, at 14:35:14
In reply to Fell in love with a girl(My therapist)Anyone else?, posted by jonh kimble on January 11, 2005, at 3:01:26
Tom,
there are lots of rules about this for therapists. They cannot have relationships with their patients, it is considered unethical.
If two years have passed since the end of therapy, it is acceptable for them to enter into a relationship with a former patient. But I believe that therapists in general consider that at no point is it really acceptable.
As another explained, it's called transference, and is really a sensible reaction to being in therapeutic relationship where the therapist tries very hard to be as kind and as understanding as possible. What's not to love? This is, I think, not too hard to do one hour a week, but probably would not carry over into a loving relationship.
Hope this helps. What do you think? Please do reply.
ShortE
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