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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 20:58:44
To recover my lost third ego state, "Happy Dinah". My therapist is not enthusiastic. He thinks there's probably a reason she's rarely seen.
But I'm a bit miffed because his first reaction was that if I became Happy Dinah, I wouldn't be coming to see him as much if at all. That didn't seem quite right. Of course, he often uses that as a very effective manipulation to get me to stop doing stupid things. So I'm not sure of his motivations. But it seemed the wrong thing to concentrate on.
I've been trying to access Happy Dinah the same way I accessed emotional me, through self hypnosis. So far without success. Possibly because I'm not sure where to look. I always knew where emotional me was. There was enough of emotional me present to hone in on it. I can't find Happy Dinah at all.
Sooooo... I want to find a therapist who works with hypnotism. My therapist is opposed. Wanted to know if I'd already made an appointment. I said of course not!!! Honestly I don't even know how to go about finding one.
He asked if I'd be willing to be honest (in a further attempt to discourage me) and I answered that in these circumstances, sure. How could I not be? If someone's to help me find Happy Dinah, they have to know what to look for.
Any thoughts?
Posted by mair on January 4, 2005, at 21:05:24
In reply to My new goal, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 20:58:44
Dinah
Why would your therapist ask you if you were willing to be honest?
Mair
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 21:15:10
In reply to Re: My new goal » Dinah, posted by mair on January 4, 2005, at 21:05:24
I generally lie through my teeth to adjunct therapists about ego states. It's shameful to me because I know of the largely negative views of it in the therapeutic (and general) community.
I have no trouble with lying for self preservation.
Posted by annierose on January 4, 2005, at 21:47:05
In reply to My new goal, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 20:58:44
Wonder if "Happy Dinah" is somewhere with your daydreams? And I don't mean that in a funny way, although it sounds that way. If those 2 states are lost together?
I think your T is flipping out slightly because he doesn't want to lose you.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 22:50:08
In reply to Re: My new goal, posted by annierose on January 4, 2005, at 21:47:05
It might make it easier to understand.
Forgive the "she" part. It's just easier than trying to explain without it. I could do it the other way, but it would be confusing.
I've come to the conclusion that Happy Dinah was the one who daydreamed, though I can't be sure. But when she came back for a couple of days a year or two ago, she brought back the daydreams as if they had never stopped. She remembered parts of them that I had forgotten.
She took over my body in tenth and twelth grades (extending over into the first semester of college). I was myself in eleventh grade. I've always said aliens took over my body in tenth and twelth grades.
She was happy and self-confident. Popular by my standards.
She liked her body. A lot. She liked that guys liked her body. She could whip this body into something approaching shape in no time at all. Unlike either other part of me, she has unbelievable self control. Could get by on a thousand calories a day. Didn't mind starving for a good body. I could never do that. When I was Happy Dinah, I considered myself fat at 119.
She didn't mind being sexual with others, while I hated it. She didn't quite understand the aversion she had to kissing.
She is smart enough to work. Way more capable of work than emotional me. Emotional me can't work at all well. Probably better than rational me too, since she's less linear and less overly concerned with error.
My husband would think he'd like her around, but I don't really think he actually would since he doesn't really like me in a good mood.
I wouldn't mind going away very much if Happy Dinah was there. I always liked living vicariously through her. Besides, both rational and emotional me like Happy Dinah, while neither rational nor emotional me like each other.
The only problem I can see is that Happy Dinah giggles way too much. And maybe, just maybe, she isn't always as kind as she should be. Although what I recall is that she was unkind to teachers she thought were stupid, not in general unkind. That's understandable, I guess. And I would miss my therapist. If he would laugh more, Happy Dinah might like him ok.
I think the positives would definitely outweigh the negatives.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 22:53:40
In reply to Re: My new goal, posted by annierose on January 4, 2005, at 21:47:05
> I think your T is flipping out slightly because he doesn't want to lose you.
That's what it seemed like to me, and as much as I like my therapist, I don't think that's right AT ALL. It might be personal I guess. But what I really thought of is what a significant portion of his yearly income I am. And yes, I know more or less just how significant because he numbers his invoices.
If he's thinking of himself in trying to help me decide whether to do this (if it's even do-able which it may not be) that would be very very wrong of him.
Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 4:24:53
In reply to Shall I tell you about her?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 22:50:08
Posted by littleone on January 5, 2005, at 14:20:24
In reply to Re: My new goal » annierose, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 22:53:40
> > I think your T is flipping out slightly because he doesn't want to lose you.
>
> That's what it seemed like to me, and as much as I like my therapist, I don't think that's right AT ALL. It might be personal I guess. But what I really thought of is what a significant portion of his yearly income I am.
Dinah, you've mentioned before that your T had a lot of trouble with dependant women because he had one and promised her forever therapy and then shortly after, she left.I would tend to think that his flipping out was related to that rather than your steady income.
Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 20:50:20
In reply to T doesn't want to lose you » Dinah, posted by littleone on January 5, 2005, at 14:20:24
Posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 20:51:27
In reply to Never mind me. I was being silly. :) (nm), posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 4:24:53
Posted by annierose on January 5, 2005, at 21:14:55
In reply to He says he won't help me. :( (nm), posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 20:51:27
Can you blame him? He wants to help you, and not send you off to someone else. And I'm not so sure that's "his stuff", but as your T, he's acting, he truly feels, in your best interest.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2005, at 23:30:50
In reply to He says he won't help me. :( (nm), posted by Dinah on January 5, 2005, at 20:51:27
Dinah,
It may be that he is concerned about using hypnosis with someone with ego state divides. I don't know that much about hypnosis, but I do know that meditation, guided imagery, and breathing exercises are not the best for those who dissociate. I would imagine that hypnosis may fall into that category too.Now given your own self-hynosis, that may change the picture, but he may be just being cautious.
gg
Posted by Dinah on January 6, 2005, at 3:51:36
In reply to Re: He says he won't help me. :( » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2005, at 23:30:50
He doesn't think it's a good goal.
Posted by alexandra_k on January 6, 2005, at 5:15:55
In reply to He doesn't mind the method, but the goal., posted by Dinah on January 6, 2005, at 3:51:36
He want you to operationalise it or something?
Posted by judy1 on January 6, 2005, at 14:00:43
In reply to Shall I tell you about her?, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2005, at 22:50:08
gee, that sounds an awful lot like me in a hypomanic state- and a fairly mild one where I can go a year or more in. actually I think it's my dominant personality. you have said you have a cyclothymic (sp?) disorder- doesn't this fit? and if it does, then the way I go about getting manic (and it maybe works about half the time) is forcing myself to get less and less sleep. this usually kicks in a mild hypomanic state after a couple of days. the key is keeping it at this level since I tend to elevate, but I don't remember you ever having a manic episode?
take care, judy
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