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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 21:30:37
Hey its me again.
Is it possible to let a companion host for a while.
Usally when i get really nervous, in a situation im not confident in, i dont think I can handle it, like a major track meet, or a siminar.
I've asked Ritchie to do this before, referably before a district track meet on the 1600m relay, but he refused, he has more confidence than i do, but always claims that this is for my good on my own to learn. He will just help me.
I finally told my therapist about Ritchie , it was embarrasing but suprisinly he didnt think i was crazy. I asked him this same question, he flat out said do not. Idenity problems or something. Later i finally got him to talk to Dr. Neaves through me, but he woulndt host, like always.
He just discussed what some of my problems are in situations that he helps me with, Dr. Neaves approved of him, liked him for being considerate. But told me its really myself, simulated throught my imagination.
But anyways, that was a little far off from the subject, sorry. But if i finally get him for once to host, can this be done>?
Thanks,
matt
Posted by alexandra_k on August 29, 2004, at 22:23:36
In reply to another question about imaginary companion, posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 21:30:37
> Is it possible to let a companion host for a while.
Well, it may be, but I agree its not a good idea.
> Usally when i get really nervous, in a situation im not confident in, i dont think I can handle it, like a major track meet, or a similar. I've asked Ritchie to do this before, referably before a district track meet on the 1600m relay, but he refused, he has more confidence than i do, but always claims that this is for my good on my own to learn. He will just help me.
If he does it for you then how are you going to learn how to handle it for yourself? If you have a go yourself then things will get easier for you, and then you will build mastery and a sense of self efficacy and self esteem. There is a danger that if he does it then you may come to rely on him and not realise that you can do it yourself.
> I finally told my therapist about Ritchie , it was embarrasing but suprisinly he didnt think i was crazy. I asked him this same question, he flat out said do not. Idenity problems or something. Later i finally got him to talk to Dr. Neaves through me, but he woulndt host, like always.My T won't host either. But I don't want her to, I just wish she would take the line that your T is taking!
Posted by Pantt on August 31, 2004, at 17:46:23
In reply to another question about imaginary companion, posted by mmcconathy on August 29, 2004, at 21:30:37
What do you mean by "host"?
Where would you be while he hosted?
When you let your friend talk to the therapist did he speak in the first person or did you relay messages?
How long have you had this friend?
When did he first appear?
Does he appear when summoned or appear on his own?
Have you ever asked him where he came from and if he is part of you?
Do you talk to him verbally or just sense him?
Do you always do what he says?
Has he ever asked you to do anything you don't want to do?
Do you know anything about his life when he is not with you or before you met him?
Do you remember the circumstances when he first appeared?
Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a child or is this the first one?
Feel free not to answer any or all questions.
Posted by mmcconathy on August 31, 2004, at 21:37:08
In reply to Re: another question about imaginary companion » mmcconathy, posted by Pantt on August 31, 2004, at 17:46:23
What do you mean by "host"?
-Host, as meaning letting control me, or taking over.
Where would you be while he hosted?
-he's never hosted, i now dont think that's possible, usally that's only Idenity dissociation disorder, and i am not multiple personalityWhen you let your friend talk to the therapist did he speak in the first person or did you relay messages?
-I spoke for him, again he would have to actually "host" to speak directly to the therapistHow long have you had this friend?
-2 years, in septemberWhen did he first appear?
-during an emotional breakdownDoes he appear when summoned or appear on his own?
-at first, appered on his own, when in distress usally. But in normal circumstances, he's just a segment of my imagination that I control.Have you ever asked him where he came from and if he is part of you?
-no, i've tried to become him before but his personality isnt fully reached a point where i can acutally swithch with him. Over the years i've added charisteristics on to him, and details.Do you talk to him verbally or just sense him?
-sense him, talk to him in my mind, only.
Do you always do what he says?
-no, sometimes his encouragement gets annoying, more like preaching. Especially when he turns into his dad like/ buisness executive figure.
Has he ever asked you to do anything you don't want to do?
-yes, and getting envolved with somethings in school that dont intrest me.
Do you know anything about his life when he is not with you or before you met him?
-For a while, well i had to create a background histroy at first, becuase rerember he's my creation, he didnt just come with a full background history packet with him.
One impression of him was a Varsity Football player that was like a big brother, some one you can sit around and laugh with, another was a grown succesful buisness exectutive or CEO, this one was more like a dad figure. There's other's but i just threw them out.Do you remember the circumstances when he first appeared?
-he first just came and sat with me on the floor, gave me rough handshake, i had some personal issues going on then.......breakdowns, so basically i just rushed all my problems on him, didnt bother him, ebcause he's not an actual person, he just listened and took from there on what we should do. Gave me a brotherly hug, which makes me feel better about myself.
Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a child or is this the first one?
-this is the first one, this is why i was worried I maybe crazy, becuase this is something pre-schoolers go throught, but usally that's like Mr. Butthead, or Mr. Madelesdale, non logical creations. I made Ritchie to confisinate to close as a acutal person as i could, because then i can talk to him like an actual person.
Feel free not to answer any or all questions.
-no problem
Posted by Pantt on September 1, 2004, at 11:00:45
In reply to Re: ritchie, posted by mmcconathy on August 31, 2004, at 21:37:08
I think that's really an amazingly healthy way to help yourself.
I had an ongoing -well I hate to call it fantasy because it was so real to me-but parallel life for most of my late childhood into my early twenties but it always drew me away from real life not back towards it.
I'm sort of borrowing your idea and trying to create a sister/friend/coach type of personality to help me get back to the world. I'm modeling her on myself when I used to be able to have fun and my best friend at that time. I gave her one of my childhood nicknames as a name because I know it's really me.
Thanks
Posted by mmcconathy on September 1, 2004, at 19:33:27
In reply to Re: ritchie, posted by Pantt on September 1, 2004, at 11:00:45
This is moderatly long, so if you dont have enought energy to read the whole thing, just read the paragraphs that are Marked to read, ebcause those are the helpful ones.
Now, dont want you to think that having a imaginary compaion is the greatest self-helping mechanism, thought it is very helpful, rerember the main goal is to reach a point of full control, and a feeling of control, i am still on this journey. I have not reached it yet.
**Read this,This is important**--You an me have things in common, about 2 years ago I got trapped in my imaginary world, i went soo deep, i was far from living in reality, i almost lost my mind. I made up stories because I realized i lacked social skills, about me being a Huge buisness executive (by the way, that's what i made ritchie) but i realized that none of this real, the reality is, im just sitting here at home, with a boring life.
The feeling of discust haunts you, that's why my advice is dont go far in your imagainary world, try somehow to not use it as an escape. It makes you feel low, because I realize im not achieving anything in real life.
**This is also important, Read** -- If Ritchie is around too much, i get annoyed and dont find him helpful. He comes around on occations, and that is what makes it soo great i get exited because i havent seen him in a while, so I never get tired of him. He's comforting during stress, but if its too high, my mind doesnt have enought energy to simulate him, because its deverting all the energy to deal with the high stress. But he's comforting after, kinda like a fire to sit next to in the cold.
Make you imaginary friend similar to Ritchie, dont let her be around too much becuase it makes you irrtible. But let her come on occations and just talk to her about what your doing, and talk things out about what to do.
All the wise....
Matt
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on September 3, 2004, at 0:30:39
In reply to Re: this is some good advice, posted by mmcconathy on September 1, 2004, at 19:33:27
It sounds like your friend fatigues you. A part of me is very mad that i am even addressing the dissociation. One part of me is totally against discussing anything about it. You use the terms of dissociation - host, switch. I never liked those words in therapy, because it might suggest.... that dark word (MPD). I still don't use those words. I would almost threaten to hit a therapist or a doc that would even suggest it based on my symptoms. No way.
I wonder if Ritchie was there but was only allowed to come out when you had this "break down" as you put it. Gosh, someone inside is getting really angered with me. I thought I was having a breakdown, but it wasn't that at all. It was the breaking through of the others. They weren't going to be silenced anymore, so it feels like falling apart.
Oh, matt, if I am making you angry, please let me know. I don't want to offend you in any way. When the others are out too long, it can fatigue you. Someone inside is threatening me to, "Keep my mouth shut." Sorry if I am bothering you and I deeply apolize if I hurt anyone feelings.
This is the end of the thread.
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