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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
Some of you may have read my post a few days ago, about me wanting to do something to mark the passing of one year (not a single missed appointment, either!) with my T. In the end I decided I was obsessing about it too much and just let it go. But today I decided, I think I'll just send him a little e card, nothing sappy, just saying I wanted to recognize a year gone past and thanked him for everything. He replied by email and just said "thanks". I felt so stupid. I immediately thought, why did I bother? Or am I making too much of it? I guess it would've been nice to hear something like, "Thanks, (insert sentence)". Oh well, I see him tommorow so I might bring it up, but what do you think?
Posted by Pantt on September 1, 2004, at 11:07:11
In reply to Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
I think bring it up. Maybe he just prefers to deal with things in real life or was just in a hurry etc. Tell him how you felt about his response and what you would have preferred. I think anniverseries are a good time to recap and talk about how far you've come and where you still want to go and how you feel about the relationship.
Posted by Dinah on September 1, 2004, at 11:19:21
In reply to Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
I'd definitely bring it up then. He might just prefer to discuss it in person, but didn't want you to think he hadn't received it, or that he wasn't acknowledging it. Or he may have been in a huge hurry but took the time to say thanks.
If you can divert your thoughts till tomorrow, you might save yourself a day of feeling angry. And if you find out tomorrow that you have reason to be angry, there's still plenty of time. :)
Posted by shortelise on September 1, 2004, at 12:17:03
In reply to Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
Tiny
I don't know if this will help or not, but to me, A simple "thanks" to an e card would be an appropriate response. And I;d be amazed if he doesn't mention it again when he sees you.
That said, I know you feel differently about it, and I am not trying to diminish you feelings! I just thought a different perspective could be helpful.
And of course it's always the right thing to do to "bring it up" in therapy, isn't it?
ShortE
Posted by lonelygal on September 1, 2004, at 21:14:23
In reply to Re: Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by shortelise on September 1, 2004, at 12:17:03
Hi tiny...
umm, even though i wouldn't want to care, i would be mad too & probably would be too embarassed to bring it up.
maybe he'll bring it up tomorrow so you wouldn't have to?
Posted by steelmagnolia25 on September 1, 2004, at 21:38:02
In reply to Re: Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by lonelygal on September 1, 2004, at 21:14:23
I would feel the same way, and I would bring it up in therapy. After the thought and effort it took to send an e-card, you deserve more than a one word response! As you said, even a simple sentence would have been nice.
Posted by Dinah on September 2, 2004, at 9:45:18
In reply to Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
Posted by tinydancer on September 2, 2004, at 13:19:51
In reply to Kind of mad. Justified?, posted by tinydancer on September 1, 2004, at 10:06:40
Today I started the hour out with discussing how I felt. My feelings had mellowed out to the point where I wasn't so angry anymore, but I wanted to express my hurt feelings. It was so weird-I didn't feel like he really reacted a lot to it, he sort of acknowledged my feelings, but didn't really accept any kind of responsibility for it himself. He claimed that his intentions were good but that he might have been preoccupied. He even admitted "looking for a good excuse"...haha! In the end he said, "What can I do to make it up to you?" I started laughing hysterically and asked if we could freeze time for a minute there just so I could enjoy it..He said, "Sure! Let's do that. I can even say it again..." So I was giggling to death but managed to settle down and get serious again. He had one idea of his own, and I also had one. My idea was that he could reply to me again how he wished he should've replied the first time. His idea involved this gift I had bought for him, but ended up not giving to him because I know his stance on gifts. He said that I could bring it in, which was nice.
In the end I just felt kind of let down still. Like I guess I wanted to sense more of his own personal reaction or feeling to what happened when it was more, "I can understand you felt like this or like that"....
Oh well. Can't have great appointments every time. I guess I am struggling now due to the fact that he has a HUGE patient load at the moment because he runs a inpatient program at the hospital 4 days a week....I feel like he's so distracted, I guess, but that's how it goes...
This is the end of the thread.
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