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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:54:59
Anyone read this book, have any opinions or insights to share? I'm finding it a bit too uncomfortable and revealing, it's depressing me, making me anxious and feel disrespect for myself but I can't put it down.
Posted by shortelise on August 7, 2004, at 1:10:39
In reply to Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:54:59
No Susan, I haven't read it. But I hope you have the sense to put it down and not pick it up again until you're out of the frame of mind you're in - or maybe never again.
There is enough crap around us that can throw us off if we let it. Do you really need to add to that? I feel a little angry - not at you but this makes me think about the times I've let myself fall into my own traps.
I won't hate myself. No! And I won't go to the places that make me hate myself, not through books, films, other people, or thoughts. I don't care if this book contains the answers to every qeustion in the Universe. If it makes you feel bad... Take the book back to the library, throw it out of the window, put it inot the washing machine and hit "big load"! Do that and celebrate that you can do it. What's with those traps? Why set them, why fall into them?
Hugs
Shorte
Posted by tabitha on August 7, 2004, at 1:53:57
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by shortelise on August 7, 2004, at 1:10:39
> put it into the washing machine and hit "big load"!
Great image ShortE. I have many cares and worries that need the 'big load' treatment.
Posted by Susan47 on August 7, 2004, at 11:03:18
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by shortelise on August 7, 2004, at 1:10:39
Thanks Shorte, you're very sweet. I read more of the book and it gets past the stuff that bothers me. It gives me a lot of insight into who I am, and you're right, I refuse to hate myself too.
Posted by holymama on August 7, 2004, at 15:40:34
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by Susan47 on August 7, 2004, at 11:03:18
Hi Susan and everyone,
I read and really liked the book. I think suicide and suicidal thinking are really misunderstood, even by someone who has been hospitalized for suicidal depression. I felt after reading it that I wasn't alone in my depressions, that there are many, many other people who have been there. And I was amazed to find how similar the thought process of other people is to mine! I always thought, for example, that suicidal thoughts were a result of a despairing view of life -- life is too hard, I can't take it anymore, etc. My suicidal thoughts on the other hand, come impulsively -- I could have one really bad day where I swing into depression, and I am afraid I might impulsively kill myself out of the intense torture that I feel. I was surprised to read that this impulsiveness is common, and puts me at higher risk. That was pretty eye-opening for me and makes me take it more seriously.
I have an interest in studying clinical psychology and working with people with mental illness. That, and the fact that I've been dealing with bipolar disorder and have been hospitalized myself, has driven me to do a lot of reading lately on mental illness. I've read a few books by Kay Redfield Jamison, and also Lauren Slater in the past couple of months. I've liked both authors and every book that I read gives me a new insight into my illness and the illness of others. While a book on suicide might be 'depressing' to read, I find it fascinating to begin to try to understand why a person could possibly want to 'self-destruct'. It is such a misunderstood and taboo subject, and I liked an author approaching it with such honesty and inquiry. ~~Autumn~~
Posted by mair on August 7, 2004, at 22:32:47
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by holymama on August 7, 2004, at 15:40:34
I'm a big Kay Jamison fan also, although I only skimmed through the book on suicide. It made me feel pretty anxious just reading about it.
It's interesting what you say about suicide impulses. I've always felt that my own thoughts about suicide are impulsive, and that I can best protect myself by keeping myself out of situations where I could act on those impulses. I said something similar on this board once, and some guy responded by saying, as best as I can recall, that impulsive suicide was the purview of teenagers, and not adults. And, since I'm decades away from being a teenager, his comment seemed to be an only slightly veiled way of telling me how immature I must be.
Maybe because my suicidal impulses are, just that, impulses, I've never known how seriously to take them. But I do think it's helped me to talk to my therapist about them even when part of me is ashamed to be feeling as i do, and also somewhat ashamed to be talkiing about suicide even when I honestly believe I'm not really at risk. I think understanding it as an impulsive act has put me in a place where I don't freak myself out as much when I do get caught up in suicidal thinking, and hopefully it will help me if I ever find myself truly on the precipice. I hope then that I'm with it just enough to be able to tell myself that I'm not always going to feel that way.
Mair
Posted by holymama on August 8, 2004, at 7:39:18
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide » holymama, posted by mair on August 7, 2004, at 22:32:47
Hi Mair,
What a lovely name. I too didn't take my impulsiveness seriously until this spring, when I honestly was afraid I would follow through with one of my impulses on a bad day. I broke down about this in both my therapist's and pdoc's offices because I had really become scared that this illness would kill me. I knew that I really didn't want to die -- when I was feeling well, I loved my life. I have a great husband, 3 beautiful healthy children, a lot of hope and dreams in my future. But on one bad day, it would be really easy to put an end to my life. So my therapist and doctor started taking it really seriously, which I am really thankful for. They started communicating with eachother on the phone about it, and the three of us came up with a very solid plan. During this time of such instability (while trying new meds and rapid cycling like crazy), if I had a really bad day and felt suicidal, I would check myself into the hospital. Even if I was in the hospital a handful of times until I got the meds right, at least I would be safe. Better safe than sorry. Just having the plan helped calm me down and gave me something solid to do if I felt that way. I wouldn't have to second guess myself (am I bad enough to go into the hospital? But I wouldn't REALLY do it, would I? But I'm sure if I just wait it out, I'll feel better tomorrow...). I actually did check myself into the hospital on one of those bad days. And I'm really glad I did. It helped me. And I haven't had to do it again, and hopefully won't. But now my doctor and therapist and I have a much better relationship, much better communication, a much better plan. It's worked out well. I hope you have that support too. I think it's much too easy to not take suicidal thinking seriously, but if we all did, and sought help, we could save ourselves. ~~Autumn~~
Posted by Susan47 on August 8, 2004, at 16:14:00
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide » holymama, posted by mair on August 7, 2004, at 22:32:47
"It's interesting what you say about suicide impulses. I've always felt that my own thoughts about suicide are impulsive, and that I can best protect myself by keeping myself out of situations where I could act on those impulses. I said something similar on this board once, and some guy responded by saying, as best as I can recall, that impulsive suicide was the purview of teenagers, and not adults."
That guy was a smug little so and so. Maybe he just a therapist, and a bad one at that.
Posted by cubic_me on August 8, 2004, at 16:47:57
In reply to Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:54:59
I read this book a year or so ago. I found it extremely well written and insightful, even though it was difficult to read at times. I belong to a group of survivors of suicide who had a discussion board on this book a few months ago http://b4.boards2go.com/boards/board.cgi?action=read&id=1073582212&user=nightfallsfast . I don't think that the discussion is active any more but there are some good comments there.
I know that this is a very hard book to put down, but if you are finding bits of it difficult then I found going on to another chapter and then coming back to the one you were on when you feel a bit better is a good way of dealing with it.
Let us know what you think of it.
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 11, 2004, at 20:28:13
In reply to Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by Susan47 on August 6, 2004, at 23:54:59
I haven't read this book. Does it tell people how to deal with the self destructive thoughts?
Posted by Susan47 on August 11, 2004, at 21:40:35
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 11, 2004, at 20:28:13
No, it's not a practical self-help book in that way.
This is the end of the thread.
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