Posted by holymama on August 8, 2004, at 7:39:18
In reply to Re: Night Falls Fast - understanding suicide » holymama, posted by mair on August 7, 2004, at 22:32:47
Hi Mair,
What a lovely name. I too didn't take my impulsiveness seriously until this spring, when I honestly was afraid I would follow through with one of my impulses on a bad day. I broke down about this in both my therapist's and pdoc's offices because I had really become scared that this illness would kill me. I knew that I really didn't want to die -- when I was feeling well, I loved my life. I have a great husband, 3 beautiful healthy children, a lot of hope and dreams in my future. But on one bad day, it would be really easy to put an end to my life. So my therapist and doctor started taking it really seriously, which I am really thankful for. They started communicating with eachother on the phone about it, and the three of us came up with a very solid plan. During this time of such instability (while trying new meds and rapid cycling like crazy), if I had a really bad day and felt suicidal, I would check myself into the hospital. Even if I was in the hospital a handful of times until I got the meds right, at least I would be safe. Better safe than sorry. Just having the plan helped calm me down and gave me something solid to do if I felt that way. I wouldn't have to second guess myself (am I bad enough to go into the hospital? But I wouldn't REALLY do it, would I? But I'm sure if I just wait it out, I'll feel better tomorrow...). I actually did check myself into the hospital on one of those bad days. And I'm really glad I did. It helped me. And I haven't had to do it again, and hopefully won't. But now my doctor and therapist and I have a much better relationship, much better communication, a much better plan. It's worked out well. I hope you have that support too. I think it's much too easy to not take suicidal thinking seriously, but if we all did, and sought help, we could save ourselves. ~~Autumn~~
poster:holymama
thread:374944
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040805/msgs/375271.html